7.11.19 8

Pregnancy Update: Fourteen Weeks and Counting

Holy moly. Thank you all for your kindness! For some reason, I felt some anxiety when we were getting ready to publicly tell everyone I was pregnant, and it was so silly. Thank y’all so much.

Admittedly, I was shocked. I’m thirty-five years old and I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to avoid being pregnant. I honest to goodness believed because of that, it might take a while for my body to figure out what the hell was going on — like, yo, you’re trying to do this on purpose?? Lo and behold, I was wrong, and I’ve never been more excited to be wrong (if you know me, that’s saying a lot).

HOWEVER. You know what really makes a gal feel special? The term “geriatric.” Or “advanced maternal age.” I’m young at heart, damn it, and I prefer “sophisticated” anyway. I mean, how cute is that: The Sophisticated Pregnancy™, hitting your bookshelves March 2020.

Also, you don’t realize how often you have a cocktail (or four) until you’re pregnant and trying to hide it from the world. Unfortunately, with my group of hoodlum friends, if I didn’t have a drink, I’d be instantly suspect, and you can only do “detoxes” and “antibiotics” for so long until people that thinking you’re in renal failure. We took a trip to Austin with some friends almost immediately after we found out, and I just tried to keep a drink in my hands at all times (and pass any shots to Dale, or toss them over my shoulder a la Ty Webb–)

Luckily, as I’ve referenced above, my friends are also degenerate lushes, so after a few drinks, it became much easier to conceal 🙂 valuable lesson here: you don’t have to be drunk if everyone else is #tylerism

We made that trip to Alaska a few weeks ago too, with one eight-hour flight and one overnight flight. I’m usually a pretty smart traveler, in spite of my love of flying by the seat of my pants (pun intended), but lemme tell y’all, I was an over-prepared nutbag. I had my aisle seat for easy bathroom access, my compression socks, my blanket and pillow, my eye mask, my slippers, my Wet Ones to wipe down all the boogers leftover from previous tiny travelers, my collapsible bottle so I wouldn’t be at the mercy of the flight attendant beverage cart … guys, I straight-on set up house in 13C. We also did Disney World last weekend. In lieu of drinking around the world and riding Space Mountain until I puked, I ate pretty much everything I set my eyes on. It turns out, Disney is a vegan haven [see this Insta for proof!]. Besides, anything I would have wanted to drink, I made Dale order in my stead. Unsurprisingly, he did not object to this. Bless.

A few details below (mainly for my own memory, but just in case you guys would like to know too):

Due date: January 9, 2020

How far along: Fourteen weeks today. I found out wayyyy too early (like, three weeks, two days kind of early), so it feels like it’s been much longer than that. I commented to Dale last night that “tomorrow, I’ll be 25% finished!” And when he looked at me with questioning eyes, I doubled down, tapped my head, and proclaimed, “Yeah, MATH.” It turns out I’m not pregnant for sixty weeks. Dale tried to blame it on pregnancy brain, but I’m shitty at fractions in a regular life. It’s fine, whatever. 

Sex: (of the baby, you pervs) … We aren’t finding out! There are so few things that can truly surprise you anymore, especially me. I mean, I’m a lawyer. I’m paid to not be surprised, and I’m pretty inquisitive {read: psychotic and suspicious} about everything … so we decided to go Team Green. We’ve done the Harmony testing already — the perk of a Sophisticated Pregnancy™ (man, I’m rolling now) — and we ultimately decided against checking the gender box. My sister is already dying with anticipation (she’s a fantastic planner), but I think once the time gets here, everyone will be excited to be surprised. We’ve been playing around with all the old wives tales — both the Chinese and Mayan tests and the ring on a string predict girl, peeing on baking soda (okay, wtf is that though really) said boy. I’m not sure what the nub test says because I’ve Rachel Green’d myself into not being able to tell what body part is what on my own kid. Basically, it’s a surprise, it could be a velociraptor, and we’ll just leave it at that.

How I’m feeling: I’m exhausted. That’s been the big one. I’ve been a little queasy here and there, but nothing traumatic. No food aversions, no real cravings to speak of (though I did demolish an entire box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in under two days). Overall, I think I’ve just felt a little off … like, just weird. I attribute part of that to weaning off my anxiety medication (which wasn’t a must from my docs, but a personal choice — I’m also open to my doctors’ suggestions if it doesn’t work out the way I’d like it to). I’m sure the rest of it is, “holy crap, I’m pregnant on purpose.” That’ll do it too. I’ve definitely gone down the indigestion/heartburn route, which I’ve never really had issues with previously. I read an old wives tale that said heartburn means you’ll have a hairy baby, so go ahead and anticipate Chewbacca Benfield next winter.

Looking different: I’ve gained about two pounds. No bump to speak of yet; at least, no bump that wasn’t there before (wokka wokka).

[I’ve got a dress on the way that I want to use to do weekly pictures. It’ll be a little big right now, but it’s super stretchy for down the road. The irony of being married to a photographer and posting mirror selfies is not lost on me, y’all; I just had to pick an outfit]

I’ve got a small collection of stretchies on the outsides of my hips from the time I grew seven inches in a year while losing weight (my eleventh trip around the sun hit me nine ways of weird), but I’d love it if I could keep them corralled where they are. To that end, I’ve been slathering myself in Neutrogena Hydro Boost Body Balm and I love it. It makes my skin feel super soft without being sticky or greasy. If anyone has a suggestion, though, I’d love to know!

Food: The #1 question I’ve gotten in the twenty-four hours is whether I’m continuing on a vegan diet. The answer is absolutely! Both my doctor and my dietician are 100% on board with it; surprisingly (to me, at least), neither of them batted an eye. I was armed with my research and ready to bargain, and I didn’t even need to! My doctor even told me I’m one of her healthiest high-risk patients (by virtue of my overwhelming Sophistication, of course). I found a vegan prenatal gummy vitamin that I love, and I take vegan DHA (which is kind of like the veggie version of fish oil, it just comes straight from the algae, where the fish get it). I’ve been a pretty healthy eater anyway, and I think that has played a large role in how good I’ve felt so far (who knows, though, I’m a lawyer, not a doctor). Maybe that’s why my cravings have been close to non-existent: I don’t crave a cheeseburger or milkshakes because it’s been so long since I’ve had one. That Cinnamon Toast Crunch, though.

Random: I had a recurring dream that I went in to have the baby, and when it came out, like seven more came out afterward, like I was having a litter of kittens. Suffice it to say, we were all very relieved when there was only one critter on the ultrasound. Also, my niece wants to name it Rosie Crystal. So. There’s that.

I’ll be honest: I don’t really feel much. No overwhelming emotion or crying. I’m told it’s because it’s so early and I’m not showing at all and can’t feel any movement, and that things become more real when you can see your body changing and feel the little critter swimming around. As crazy as it sounds, for moments at a time, I’ll even forget. #motheroftheyear

I’ll say this, though. I’m so excited to finally be able to talk about it. I’ve been kind of quiet for two reasons — for fear that I’d either slip up and say something, and because it was hard to focus my mind on anything that wasn’t that. Emotionally, it’s been a roller coaster, and I’m happy I don’t have to keep it all to myself anymore.

Okay, so give me all of your best hacks, please. I need all the help I can get.


Leave a Comment


  1. Kate wrote:

    A high risk perinatal nurse told me the answer to most pregnancy ills is to drink more water. Nauseous? WATER. Stretch marks? WATER. High blood pressure? WATER. Swelling (down the road)? WATER. Just keep drinking lots of water and you will be fine!

    Also, you’re choosing to not find out fetal sex. Not choosing to not find out gender 🙂

    Published 7.11.19
    • TylerLucille wrote:

      Thank goodness I pound water throughout the day! Maybe that’s why I’ve been able to ward off the pukeys!

      And thank you. In my head, I make the distinction (gender vs. sex), but you get so inundated with “gender reveals” that I made a silly mistake. Thank you for pointing it out — I’m going to make an edit now 🙂

      Published 7.11.19
  2. Marolyn Hundley wrote:

    No hacks here, but you’ll realize you never knew how intense love could be until you hold that precious little dumpling in your arms. That intense (don’t mess with my kid) love never goes away no matter how old they get either. I’m so incredibly happy for you and Dale and look forward to reading your postings letting us know how things progress. ❤️

    Published 7.11.19
  3. Yvonne wrote:

    I agree with the other comment: water!! Later when baby is active and you feel less movement, drink ice water. When you have contractions or cramps, drink water and lay down. And along with water, take naps, rest, give yourself grace! I’ve had 2 babies in 3 years and I am so happy with the first pregnancy I allowed myself to relax and enjoy it. Get pampered, let your husband take care of you! The second (and any other pregnancies–at least for me) you don’t have the time or energy to really enjoy it as much as the first. Congrats!!

    Published 7.11.19
  4. Heather wrote:

    Big congrats! I’m due with my second January 5th We wanted to do a 4th of July reveal so our local 3D4D clinic let us come in at 13w4d to check the gender. A little boy this time! Our daughter is almost 2 1/2.

    I love looking at all of your Photos and reading your blogs. You’re such a fun, sweet girl! ❤️

    Published 7.11.19
  5. Jordyn wrote:

    I was so excited when I saw your announcement on instagram! Congratulations, I cannot wait to follow your journey into motherhood. And hey, sometimes I finish a box of cinnamon toast crunch in two days & I’m not pregnant so nothing to be ashamed of (:

    Published 7.12.19
  6. Chloe wrote:

    First, congratulations!! Being a mama is the best ever. Also, if you get a little anemic (which is super common) a tip my wonderful midwife gave me is to do chlorophyll pills instead of iron, it worked really well for me. Other than that, like everyone else said, WATER! enjoy the journey, it goes so quickly.

    Published 7.12.19