12.11.13 490

Real Women DON’T Have Curves

… and real women have them.

By being born with a vagina, continuing to breathe, and identifying as a woman, you are, in fact, a real woman.
I’ll even go further. Even if you weren’t born with a vagina, and you identify as a woman, you are a real woman. 

I happen to think that’s pretty simple.

As much as I hate saying it, I’m apparently wrong.

I’m feeling especially ranty this morning because I woke up to all sorts of reactions from last night’s airing of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. While there were some that talked about how wonderful the costumes were or how gorgeous the lingerie was, most of the chatter revolved around what the women looked like.

I mean, they’re models. They’re objectively gorgeous, by our society’s standards. Let’s just go ahead and get that out of the way. If you watched that show last night, you saw some of the most beautiful women in the entire world, and not just because they fill out skivvies well. Those women have some insanely beautiful faces: pouty lips, cheekbones up to the high heavens, ginormous almond-y eyes. (#swanepoelgirlcrush)

Most of the comments I’ve seen, however, are some variation of the following:

This bitch should eat a sandwich. 

She’s so skinny, it’s disgusting.

She’s clearly sick.

And this is the part where I bang my head against my desk for an hour. Because WHY.

I gotta ask, if we’re so quick to blame our genes for making us fat, why wouldn’t genes be responsible for these women being skinny?  They aren’t clearly sick or disgusting, they just look different than some of us.

If you’re a woman who thinks it’s okay to tell a skinny woman that she needs to eat a sandwich, I hope you don’t mind when that skinny woman tells you that you’re a fat ass.  Because that’s exactly the sort of shaming you’re giving her.

 

I’m irked by this seemingly well-intended movement about real women having curves. While it may have started as a catchphrase to dissuade innocent women from the horrors of an eating disorder (sidenote: whoever though EDs were about food was seriously wrong, but that’s another topic for another day) or as a pathway into body positivity, it’s now used make the “normal women” feels superior for not wearing size 2 jeans. Again: why? Why does it matter?

 
Women are not alike.  Women aren’t supposed to look alike. I’ve never understood why women think that it’s okay to tell someone how they should look. It seems to be a huge deal if you fat shame, but when the tables are turned and you’re telling a woman that, in essence, she isn’t a “real woman” because she weighs 100 lbs and has no hips, that’s just to be expected because we’re all about promoting self-esteem for little girls, y’all, and they shouldn’t compare themselves to those women because it’s unattainable.

BULLSHIT.

If anyone is really worried about the self-esteem of tomorrow’s youth, perhaps we should be teaching them instead that comparison is the thief of joy. Maybe we should tell them that whether they’re built to look like Miranda Kerr or Adele, that they are beautiful and have value as a woman. Instead of teaching our daughters and nieces that real women have curves and that “those women” are sickly and abnormal, let’s teach them that it’s never okay to question someone’s identity as a woman because they weigh ten pounds less than the average woman.

And let’s not even get me started on the “normalcy” of being “average.”  That’s a whole ‘nother can of worms.

The fact is this: if you identify as a woman, you are a real woman. And fuck anyone who tells you otherwise.

#rambleblog

((EDIT: if you aren’t a usual reader of mine and you decide to comment, would you mind telling me how you found me? I’ve never had this much traffic on a post and it makes me curious. Thank you!))
 

 

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490 Comments

  1. Brittney wrote:

    I hate the "real women" thing too. We watched last night. I watched with my husband (and some friends online were calling me CRAZY for "allowing" him to watch it…that's another rant!), but I saw strong, fun, beautiful women and talented designers….and T Swift totally surprised me looking so confident and empowered. I think it's because she was surrounded by other powerful confident women. I totally agree with you on this.

    Published 12.11.13
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  2. Robin wrote:

    YES YES YES. Just a million times yes. I wrote a similar post today and could not agree more with everything you said. I'm 5'3 and 94 lbs. I am literally allergic to everything and have been seeing doctors for years trying to figure out why I can't put weight on. So when someone tells me to eat a sandwich? All I can do is smile sweetly and tell them to get on a damn treadmill. Nothing makes me angrier! I'm all about promoting being healthy, but putting women down for being thin is no different than putting them down for being heavy. Just mind your own business!! I LOVE the VS Fashion Show every year, and think it's great to watch incredibly beautiful, in shape women strut around on a sparkly runway. People need to back off! (end rant).

    Published 12.11.13
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  3. xx BHB wrote:

    I love love LOVE this, Ty.

    Miranda Kerr wrote a self-help book called TREASURE YOURSELF, works with important organizations that deal with children and the environment, and promotes an organic lifestyle.

    Adele is an exceptionally talented singer, songwriter, and musician.

    THOSE are the qualities I want to hold up in front of my step daughter and say, "These are REAL WOMEN. Real women who have talents and share their gifts to make the world a happier, better place. Their body has NOTHING to do with this."

    Kudos, kudos, kudos.

    Published 12.11.13
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  4. This is so perfect. I confess, I've been guilty of "thin-shaming" at times, but in all honesty, it's probably more because I get insecure about my own probably-bigger-than-healthy-curves, and fall into the trap of thinking that looking down on someone who is skinnier than I am will make me feel better. Spoiler alert: it never works.

    Props to you for saying this. It's a message that every person, man or woman, needs to hear.

    Published 12.11.13
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  5. I love this! I don't understand why people bash these women, in addition to being genetically blessed they work their butts off to look the way they do & it's because it's their job to look like that. I agree with the fact that bashing skinny women is equally as bad as bashing heavy women, & that bashing anyone is not teaching young girls anything. Why should people who are naturally thin feel bad about it?

    Kristin
    crumbsandcurls.blogspot.com

    Published 12.11.13
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  6. Jordan wrote:

    I'll admit, your title made my blood pressure rise. But after reading this all I can do is give you a round of applause! Thank you.

    Published 12.11.13
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  7. I LOVE THIS! Sharing on my FB!! I've seen a lot of those comments of "eat a hamburger" on my newsfeed as well. They are models! They work their asses off to look that way and I BET that they ate a hamburger when it was over too!

    Published 12.11.13
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  8. This is SO FANTASTIC.

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  9. Kelly B. wrote:

    Amen to this so hard. I'm naturally thin. I seriously eat like trash and sometimes wish it manifested physically because I lack motivation to work out and just BE healthy (dad's recent heart attack has helped that aspect but that's neither here nor there.) People grab my wrists and tell me I need to eat- right, because a sandwich will give my bony wrists some fat. what?

    Midly off topic but I'd love to read a rant blog about this: any recap post I read today, or tweet I saw, that expressed thoughts like, "as all the women in America rush to the grocery store for pounds of lettuce and celery" made me seriously cringe. The generalization that the VS show makes all women feel inferior is so sad. It doesn't make me feel anything about myself or about them. IT sort of makes me wish I had some more self discipline to work my ass off to look like that, but that's their JOB. If my 40 hour a week job was to look beautiful, I'd devote myself harder to it, too. So why are we so hard on ourselves!? rant over. wah.

    Published 12.11.13
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  10. The most ironic part is that a lot of the girls I know who are a size zero and stick thin with no curves eat CONSTANTLY and are always complaining that they have no curves. :p The grass is always greener on the other side, but I agree – I think people need to realize shaming goes both ways.
    xox
    giedre
    http://www.walkingdotphotography.com

    Published 12.11.13
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  11. Cara wrote:

    Very well said. Also, people don't take into consideration what kind of work these models have to do to KEEP looking like this. They aren't just born with abs and toned arms. They don't GET to eat Christmas cookies and burgers. They workout a LOT. It is their job and livelihood to look like this and the haters can hate all they want but they don't put in half the work these women do.

    Published 12.11.13
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  12. LOVE IT

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  13. Totally agree

    but conversely, being thin and beautiful is universally accepted as ideal. being big and curvy isn't. i feel like there is a lot more social pressure and media attention given to someone who needs to lose weight versus someone who is thin. and i think there's a lot of "not fair!" backlash which manifests into "eat a sandwich"

    Published 12.11.13
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  14. Love every word of this! We should be lifting each other up, NOT tearing each other down by trying to make everyone fit society's mold. Speaking of society's expectations…what about being beautiful on the inside? There's so much focus on being attractive on the outside that many forget that it's more important to have a beautiful soul.

    Published 12.11.13
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  15. Ashley G wrote:

    amen!

    Published 12.11.13
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  16. Jessa wrote:

    Beautifully written. I've had to work on not saying negative things about those women pretty hard, but I'm learning. Everything you've said is completely true. We need to stop worrying about the differences in our bodies and start worrying only about ourselves and our health, if anything.

    Published 12.11.13
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  17. Torie wrote:

    Boom. That's how you do that. Thank you for saying all this. I love the VS fashion show and honestly – some of the people around me make me feel really ashamed of that. Like I'm taking five giant steps back for feminism and positive body image just by WATCHING it. which is ridiculous. Yes, they are models. But guess what, they are women too? And you think it doesn't drive them crazy or get to them when things like that are said about them? Like just because they are models they no longer have feelings, that being "hot" negates any negative crap people say about you? Ugh. I could ramble forever, but I just wanted to say thank you for posting this and I'm glad I found your blog through Whit's ! 🙂

    Published 12.11.13
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  18. Brianna wrote:

    Girl, I love this! I totally agree. I always hate reading people comments on the VS fashion show. They're either insulting the models or girls say things like "I'm never eating again." its so sad and so wrong.

    Published 12.11.13
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  19. Such an awesome point about the "telling a skinny girl to eat sandwich"!! SO TRUE! We should all just uplift each other because we are all different body types.

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  20. PREACH sister!

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  21. Whoop! you couldnt be more right..Im so over women bashing other women period..its extremely sad..and why even sit there and watch the show with the intentions on talking crap? Makes no sense

    Published 12.11.13
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  22. Preach it sista! I love this.

    Published 12.11.13
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  23. We've touched on this to each other a bazillion times, so you know that I stand in the same place you do on this subject. I love you so many for putting this out there and I love your ramble blogs almost as much. This is exactly why you're my sparkle pony foreber.

    Published 12.11.13
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  24. Steph G wrote:

    Your ramble blogs should be retitled as truth bombs. You are one of my favorites.

    Published 12.11.13
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  25. Spot on! Perfectly said!!!
    Quit comparing what we all look like and start teaching people how to be healthy!
    I dont care if you're a size 2 or a size 100, as long as you are happy and HEALTHY!
    🙂

    Published 12.11.13
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  26. Raeven wrote:

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU…

    Oh my word. This blog post. I am so glad you wrote it. Like you said, I think it all start out as well-intentioned, but it has turned. Why not let women be? Why not encourage the worth of what's in her mind rather than what body she has? Why is that so hard?

    Published 12.11.13
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  27. Love this post! It is so true. It goes both ways we should accept women for whatever shape and size they are. Not all women are the same, just like not all men are the same. Why does one have to be right and the other wrong? Thanks for sharing your opinion.

    Published 12.12.13
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  28. Kiki wrote:

    I totally agree with you its not about size! Im not skinny and i wish Tv did a better job of portraying all different sizes! but its not our place to say who needs to eat a sandwhich or who needs to go on a diet! its all about how you feel and its nobody business what you look like! uhhhh i hate when ppl do stuff like that

    Published 12.12.13
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  29. I agree – I actually think in terms of models VS models are much closer to the "average" woman than other fashion shows I've seen but I think it would be cool if VS put models on that showcased a wider range of body types – just something to consider… Recently read an article about "plus size" model I think her name is robin lawly who talked about dropping the term "plus size" from plus size model and I think it's a great idea…

    My point is (I think I'm making one?) once the media starts showing women of all shapes and sizes (I think it's getting there, actually) women will stop feeling the need to put down other women bc they don't look alike… Hope so anyway!

    Published 12.12.13
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  30. Why can't we all just go have a sandwich? Sandwiches are delicious.

    Published 12.12.13
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  31. Christina wrote:

    AMEN! I couldn't agree more and I'm not even skinny. Those women are beautiful and work hard for their bodies and their jobs. I would be appalled if someone told me what to eat or not eat, so why would I say anything like that to anyone else? Thankfully, I didn't see any negative posts about the show in my feed.

    Published 12.12.13
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  32. Alexa wrote:

    BOOM. *Drops mic*

    Thank you, thank you, thank you times infinity. I've struggled with being underweight for my entire life and it really is a struggle, even though most people refuse to recognize it. And for some reason, they also feel it's 100% OK to make snide comments about my weight — from the "eat a sandwich" comments and grabbing at my thin wrists (excuse me?!) to the "you do NOT need to be working out!" judgments — and it never fails to make me ragey. EveryBODY is different and we all have our struggles but we are all also beautiful! The VS Fashion Show celebrates some freaking gorgeous women who have worked their asses off for their careers. No matter what their bodies look like, that's something to be admired.

    Published 12.13.13
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  33. hanrae3 wrote:

    I'm a family therapist who works with children, adolescents, and adults that have eating disorders,both male and female. I do agree that the term "real woman" is not an appropriate phrase, because it continues the negative pattern of allowing size to determine if a woman meets a certain "standard". I also agree that most of society believes that eating disorders are solely about food, but the author is right in saying that they are about MUCH MORE. However, we also can't ignore that American Society is obsessed with defining both men and women by their size and appearance, and that this is a problem. It sends the message to many that you don't "have it all" if you are not a certain size, even if you have many other admirable qualities, traits, and/or successes to define you. I know that society doesn't cause eating disorders, but for a lot of men, woman, children, and adolescents, who are already struggling with feelings of inadequacy, shame, low self esteem, mental illness, and/or have a trauma history, this message about size being related to self-worth can be negatively internalized as truth. Yes eating disorders are about much more than food and the quest to be "model thin", but as long as society continues to place positive emphasis and praise on being a smaller size, then this type of judgement and ridicule will unfortunately continue. For some people with eating disorders, this positive correlation with being thin gives them a distorted sense of "good control", in their pursuit to cope with difficult emotions and/or situations in their lives. Also, as woman lose weight, people tend to compliment them or praise them for their efforts, which again is fueled by society's positive emphasis on weight loss and size. I agree that no woman should be judged based on size, but unfortunately a smaller body size/type has become idolized by many, and women who are above this size, are often ridiculed. Society and the media, including Victoria's Secret, do place an emphasis on what is an "attractive" and "accepted" size every day, and though some are able to challenge this negative message,there are also a majority of others who see this message as truth. So in conclusion, I agree with most of what this author is saying about there being a double standard, but events like the Victoria's Secret Fashion show do add fuel to the fire by only using models who meet "a standard" to represent their brand. This consequently has caused a divide among females, as evidenced by this "real woman" campaign, and unfortunately this campaign is fighting back by continuing to use size/weight as a way to define a woman, which ironically seems to be the message they are trying to debunk in the first place.

    Published 12.13.13
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  34. You are a God send for posting this. As a very petite girl, I've been preaching all of this for years.

    Gladly following you! xx

    Published 12.14.13
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  35. I'm so behind on my blog reading so I just now read this one! My girl crush on you grows with every #rambleblog. You hit it out of the park with this one. I HATE that my entire life, I've been told that I should eat (I do), that men like girls with curved (they like me too tho), or the kicker that I'm teaching my CHILD an unrealistic body image by starving myself. WHAT?!?! Have you seen her? She's very slender too. And so what. I came to grips with a lot of it when I had Boomer. I may have the smallest breasts in the world, but damnit they fed my kid. I may not have Beyonce hips, but damnit they still delivered a beautiful baby. I'm a woman no matter what I look like. Love you. Love this post.

    Published 12.16.13
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  36. Im gonna be the devils advocate here and say I disagree. 1 I disagree that if you werent born with a vagina and call yourself a woman then you are, that is just dumb. 2. im going to disagree with the fact that these women were not 'born with skinny genes' some maybe, BUT its a truth in the modeling industry and its been showcased, talked about, and worn out about the extremes these models are expected to be skinny just in order to DO that job. that doesn't make it okay, but its what they do in order to have their jobs. It is disturbing the way our society/fashion part of it anyways has these models thinking they are fat or not skinny enough when their ribs and every other bone is poking out. and I believe that the ppl saying these things are most likely just frustrated that they would like to see, like myself, a VS fashion show that is for 'real women' like so we could see what the styles look like on a say,average size 11 woman with a B cup, instead of a size 0, 6' 3' and high heeled girl that has starved herself to get on that runway. yes they have beautiful faces but so do many other woman that VS and others would never even consider putting up there becuase they are not stick thin. To see a woman speak like this is just kind of degrading to all women actually and I just came across your blog and wont be returning. just thought Id leave my opinion here, these women are gorgeous and have great jobs obviously, but do you really think they are happy? I know from stories ive read about the ones that have left VS and other fashion industries due to their cruel behavior towards them and always the 'fat' issue. these women go through hell to walk that runway and im sure it doesnt help their families and home life either. something to think about

    Published 12.21.13
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  37. I am a skinny Girl, who has been told ever since elementary school that i look Anorexic, or that i should go on the mcdonalds diet….honestly, i hate that because everyone can see that i eat more then enough (and i mean MORE) and i still hear to this day that i need to eat something. OK, so i'm tall, and underweight, but can't actually gain weight no matter how much i've tried! It really is so demeaning to be told your too skinny. it's because people have told me that my whole life that i have a hard time liking the way i look now. thank you for reminding people that average vary's from person to person!

    Published 12.21.13
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  38. Anna Dron wrote:

    Yes! I actually commented on this "phenomenon" as well when I first saw the "For girls dying to be a size zero: sweetie, remember real men go for curves, only dogs go for bones."

    It infuriated me – I'm naturally thin and have a very fast metabolism. To say that how I naturally am is something to be given to a dog is just mean.

    You can read my little rant about it here.. You're definitely not alone in this one.

    http://prettynerd.com/2011/11/skinny-isnt-a-curse#comment-30

    Published 12.21.13
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  39. Amna wrote:

    I think a major point that we overlook in this debate is what you "choose" to do with your body. I agree there are women who are naturally thin like myself, but there are those women who are not naturally thin. No matter how much they exercise and work out under pressure to look thin, they will still look curvy and a lot of models including VS fall under that too. So they are then pressurized to look thinner and skinnier to the point where they start starving. This is when you start to disrespect women. If you are naturally skinny without starving and eat healthy then kudos to you, but we all know that is not the case with all these models. A lot of models are pressurized to look this thin. They are told they are "fat" when they have healthy toned bodies. I think this is torture for these poor women when they are told to shed of pounds at their perfectly slim healthy weight. That is wrong! The word here is striving to be "healthy" and "happy" whatever your "healthy" or happy" maybe. Not striving to push extreme limits where you are not yourself anymore. Please dig deeper into this and you will find out that most of these VS models were not this thin. They had to starve to look like this. I am a thin woman and I feel women should be left alone to "choose" what THEY like for their bodies.

    Published 12.21.13
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  40. Amna wrote:

    Another important fact. VS is a lingerie company, should they not be catering to every women? Do you see 6 feet 2 women paroling around looking this way at the mall. They have no regard for the rest of women who might be 5 feel 2…5 feet 7..5 feet…5 feet 6. Women who might weight 120 or 130 150 kg…A complete misrepresentation!!!!! IF you are 5 feet 9 and weight 140 and very tone and look perfect, you deserve to walk that ramp too just as a 5 feet 2 girl who weights 100 lbs or a 5.5 who weights 150..whatever the combination. "Eat a sandwich" can hurt your sentiment then what about those other millions of women who are called names and not even given a chance to model no matter how beautiful they are.

    Published 12.21.13
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  41. debra17611 wrote:

    I love what she's trying to say, but I do have to say that this article is problematic for 2 reasons:

    1) The author seems to promote the idea that there is a hierarchy of appearances and that "beauty" is an objective thing.

    "If you watched that show last night, you saw some of the most beautiful women in the entire world, and not just because they fill out skivvies well. Those women have some insanely beautiful faces: pouty lips, cheekbones up to the high heavens, ginormous almond-y eyes."

    What about people with thin lips and low cheek bones and small eyes? Can they not be "beautiful women", too? If she's trying to support the notion that all women are different and that those differences should be accepted, then she shouldn't be asserting who the "most" beautiful women in the world are and she shouldn't be listing what characteristics count as "beautiful". In fact, there shouldn't even be a "most". That entails that there exists a hierarchy. "Beautiful" should be defined by things that are within our control, such as kindness, health, fitness, self-respect, empathy, etc. Not things that are out of our control, such as whether you have high cheek bones or not. Same goes for big boobs. VS and other brands should really stop promoting the idea that you need a push-up bra and/or big breasts in order to feel sexy. Everyone deserves to feel sexy, both men and women and everyone in between. If you were born with small breasts, you shouldn't need a push-up bra to feel sexy. I don't care what you were born with – you are entitled to feel sexy. People need to stop placing an emphasis on natural body shapes when it comes to evaluating beauty.

    Published 12.21.13
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  42. debra17611 wrote:

    2) The author seems to neglect the idea that many people critique models not because of their natural figure, but because of the unhealthy and extreme measures the models take in order to maintain that figure (I, too, hate it when people say that either curvy or skinny women are not "real women". People can't help the way they are naturally shaped, whether it's extra skinny or extra curvy). Many of them (not all, however) eat unhealthily small amounts, work out excessively, and use artificial methods of losing weight – and I think that is what people take issue with. In the modeling industry, a large amount of female models no longer menstruate due to their lack of nutrient intake (a great documentary to watch is "Killing Us Softly 4"). I mean, not only do these women dedicate all of their time to looking "good" by being hypersensitive to what they eat and how much they exercise (after all, it's their "job"), but they also overdo it, which is problematic for their health.

    I think a lot of the critique aimed at these women should be directed towards the industry of modeling in general – They perpetuate unachievable images of "beauty" that even these models themselves struggle to achieve. Cindy Crawford once said, "I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford". When the industry relentlessly reinforces unhealthy weight-loss methods and uses programs such as Photoshop or After Effects on videos and images of these women, it renders our image of "beauty" entirely artificial, shallow, and unachievable. Even more, it takes a superficial ideal and sells it as the ideal "norm", which is unhealthy and problematic for all women – not just the models.

    All in all, like I already mentioned, I don't think that beauty should ever be measured by factors that are out of our control. And this applies to all people in general, whether you're a woman or not. If you identify with beauty, you are beautiful – just as how if you identify yourself as a woman, you are a woman. A woman can be beautiful without "pouty lips" and a woman can be a woman without a vagina. What you were born with doesn't matter. Judging someone based on what they were born with is like penalizing someone for a crime they didn't commit.

    Published 12.21.13
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  43. Dan Amrich wrote:

    They're upset because shaming normal or fat people is unnecessary.

    You're upset because shaming skinny people is unnecessary.

    Well, at least we all finally agree.

    Published 12.21.13
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  44. GrifterUno wrote:

    I like my women skinny or curvaceous…just as long as they're still objects. (sorry, just couldn't resist the urge to troll!) ;P

    Published 12.21.13
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  45. Megan wrote:

    This is such a great post! I found your blog from someone else sharing this article and I couldn't agree more. I have always been underweight my whole life but I definitely eat! I always hated it because people have ALWAYS made comments about how small I am and it's embarrassing and makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I especially hate that I feel like I have to constantly apologize for my size because of some of the remarks I get, especially if the person is bigger than me. I feel ashamed that I'm so small and like I need to be bigger in order for someone to like me more.

    But then on the other hand, because of this it also was super detrimental to my thinking after I had my son. Because people constantly told me how small I was, once I was pregnant people would then tell me how big I was and it even got to the point that some told me I gained too much weight! Seriously. That happened. (I was told I was "off the chart" at the WIC office.) It was DEVASTATING! And then after I had my son and hearing about girls fitting into their pre-pregnancy jeans 1 week after their baby was born and me, who had always been told I was too skinny, not able to yet made me think that something was wrong with me. It really was this difficult thing for me because I felt like I was getting so many mixed signals.

    My point being, your post is wonderful and so important for others to see that there is no right body type and we all need to be more respectful and kind to one another. What matters is that we are healthy and happy, not a dress size. And we shouldn't have to shame and embarrass each other because of how the other looks.

    Thank you!!

    Published 12.22.13
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  46. I would have agreed with your post until your real point came through and you entirely contradicted your argument. When you say that its a catchphrase to make "real women" feel superior by not wearing a size 2, you are basically saying that everyone who is a size 2 is actually superior. I don't see how curves at all have to do with a size. So maybe if you had actually done some research you would realize that you can have curves and be a size zero and you may not have curves and be a size 12. Had this article been positive and more about self acceptance and we shouldn't shame anyone at all, I would have been more on board. Maybe learn to practice what you preach!

    Published 12.22.13
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  47. Oops! I should have used your even worse term "normal women".

    Published 12.22.13
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  48. While I agree with everything you say…I have been known to say a person needs to be fed…not TO that person, but between my husband and myself…he says he is afraid he would "break" someone that thin 🙂 I like to think we both have good healthy attitudes…I am not thin, and never have been, but I am not unhealthy either. Just my 2 cents…and I hope my grandaughters and nieces all know they are great in MY eyes as long as they are happy 🙂

    Published 12.22.13
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  49. KHGrAxel wrote:

    "By being born with a vagina and continuing to breathe, you are, in fact, a real woman."

    *By identifying as a woman and continuing to breathe, you are, in fact, a real woman.

    But really, good article. Simply had to point that out.

    Published 12.22.13
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  50. The Suzzzz wrote:

    I work in a boutique that carries lingerie, intimate products, jewelry, and vintage clothes. My mission is to help women of all sizes find things to help them feel beautiful and sexy. The biggest challenge I have is letting these women know that it isn't about size. I'm a size 10, some of them are a 0, but more often than not they are 10s, 12, or 14s. When trying on lingerie the problem is that they see the victoria secret models in their minds and what they see in the mirror doesn't match up and that can be heartbreaking for them.

    If women of all sizes and shapes are beautiful and special, then I would love to see women who weren't tall, thin, and have huge boobs on the VS catwalk, or any catwalk for that matter. "Plus size" models are few and far between and the industry standard for plus size is usually a size 8…which seems to be the most common because in our shop we sell out of 8s, 10s, and 12s (or medium and larges) first and the 0,2,4,6,14,sm,1x all sit on the shelf for a very VERY long time.

    I absolutely agree with you that comparison is the thief of joy. But media events like the VS fashion show don't glorify all women, they glorify models. If they truly believed all women were beautiful they would put an Adele, or Ashley Graham, or Chloe Marshall in the VS show…they would put in beautiful women of all sizes, shapes, ages regardless of the gender they were born into.

    Published 12.22.13
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  51. Katrionagh wrote:

    Just found your article and like your line of thinking. Body-shaming is an insidious way to get women to focus on competing with other women instead of, say, competing with men. Or not feeling like they need to compete with others at all.

    One small point. It is *not* the same thing to shame larger women as it is to shame thin/'fit' women. Thin/'fit' women are closer to society's beauty ideal and have been for many decades, so they enjoy more of that privilege [assigned by men] than larger women do. Thinner women fit (or come closer to) that arbitrary standard of beauty and many things in their life become easier for it – just look at all the research around attractiveness and workplace success/discrimination.

    It is comparable to saying that, if we were saying "there are too many white women in the show" and then someone had to say "hey, that's race-shaming! Don't shame those women because they're white!" Privilege makes things so that it is not a level playing field – that goes for race, gender, sexual orientation, heritage, etc., AND body.

    Published 12.22.13
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  52. Of course we shouldn't be body-shaming anyone…

    ""If you're a woman who thinks it's okay to tell a skinny woman that she needs to eat a sandwich, I hope you don't mind when that skinny woman tells you that you're a fat ass. Because that's exactly the sort of shaming you're giving her.""

    I agree it is not okay to tell any woman, or anyone, to eat a sandwich. However, the statement that underpins the entire post ignores the privilege conventionally beautiful women hold. Does that excuse shaming statements made against them? No. But the two are not equal, and implicitly approving of fat shaming because some internet commenters are thin-shaming makes no sense.

    Published 12.22.13
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  53. Chris wrote:

    It's just so fat girls can feel better about the choices they've made as well. Sure they are both real women but skinny girls are generally more desirable and are envied by larger women.

    So they have to put others down to make them selves feel better. Why don't they put down that second burger or the footlong Philly cheesesteak instead.

    Published 12.22.13
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  54. Unknown wrote:

    What women are doing is proving the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer right when he said "Women believe that which is on the surface to be the real thing"

    Published 12.22.13
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  55. I like how you are attempting to remind us that a real woman should come in all sizes and how is a lack of acceptance around the whole issue.

    However, your article is extremely hypocritical. You speak of "acceptance" and "real woman" yet you support and defend Victoria secret who obviously has a very one dimensional definition of beauty. If the idea of "real woman" should be universal, then why don't Victoria secret show case some woman of other sizes? Or is it because they are not fit for their description of a real beautiful woman?

    Published 12.23.13
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  56. I want to thank you for posting this! As a naturally thin girl I have always been picked on. I have been called every name in the book (stick, slim, boyish, and even anorexic). I can easily say that these words sting just as much as being called fat or overweight. I think that women should start working to improve their personal self esteem rather than putting down other women. As women we should support each other and work to become stronger individuals. Thank you again for posting this, there really needs to be more people in the world like you!

    Published 12.23.13
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  57. Victoria secret models are amazing but there are some models in th industry that are unhealthily skinny they are th ones who shouldn't be on stage. Besides catwalks are great it's the airbrushed, altered images that put the industry to shame.

    Published 12.23.13
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  58. Jamie Litt wrote:

    Come on… let's be HONEST here… Most of the women walking on the runway today DO in fact starve themselves or exist purely on salads and water. Do you KNOW what the average successful model eats? There are models who try to stay thin by eating COTTON balls… COTTON balls to fill their stomachs!

    Yes, there exist some exceptions and some naturally super thin people. I agree that we should not judge people on the size of their bodies, and that all women are worthy and real… and if you are naturally super thin, then I have no right to bash you for it. Women are beautiful in ALL shapes and sizes.

    However, the truth is that the average model is NOT setting a good example for America's youth, because the average model IS anorexic, or close to it.

    For decades we have been applauding and looking up to these women as being the "ideal." This "ideal" is typically unattainable, unless you are starving yourself or photoshopped, or both. And this need for so-called physical perfection has left many women and girls feeling completely inadequate for the slightest of physical imperfections.

    We needed the "real women" movement to help women who did not win the genetic lottery to feel good about ourselves and beautiful just as we are, even if we are not as thin as models. It is that movement that helps prevent girls today from developing eating disorders in hopes to look like a sickly-looking model.

    Let's face it… NO one is going to deny that VS models are less than stunning… even if they are calling them too thin. With the money these women are making and the admiration they are still getting from most of America, there is NO need to feel bad for them.

    I personally am happy that people are finally coming to a place where women feel confident in their curves and a good portion of the comments on unnaturally stick thin models are calling them out for perpetuating this body type that is unhealthy for most women. I hope this indicates that we are not allowing the models on the runway and in the magazines to have the negative effects on our self-esteem that they have had throughout history.

    Published 12.23.13
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  59. Debra Mc wrote:

    Although your sentiment is good (we all have value regardless of size) your example is poor. I used to frequently take the Milan/London/Milan flights & have seen catwalk models in person. I was always small (5'3" 100 lbs) but next to those women I looked fat. They were lovely people but were (& are) unhealthily thin & should not be held up as an example of a thin healthy person. Remember that the camera puts on 10 lbs, then look at your photos. Also check out some of the before & after Photoshopped photos to see how society is presented with an even more exaggerated mirror. The people shaming anyone of any size are simply cowards hiding behind what they see as internet anonymity. They pop up on every site. Runway models are not that thin due to genetics but due to extreme dieting without which they would be a more "normal" (dare I say healthy) thin that would likely be viewed as fat for VS.

    Published 12.23.13
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  60. LadyJane wrote:

    What I object to is that models are forced to conform to a certain image. Yes, some are naturally slim but the modelling industry sets size standards that these women have to work hard to stay within.

    We are all real women, short, tall, fat or thin; and we come in all colours… we just need the fashion industry to show a true reflection of the various women of the word.

    Published 12.23.13
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  61. I agree with ur post that no one should bash anyone based on your size – thin or not. Their is an issue hear though. Society and especially the modeling and designer industry sensationalize sex and being thin. The Average young woman or girls will strive at any cost to b that way even though their bodies can't do so. That means eating disorders to our youth. If this was the case why do they NOT have full figured clothing line nor have full figured woman walking that stage? They have some sizes that go up to at least an extra lg and larger bras as well….why not model them? Again goes back to the case in point that society wld rather look at skinner woman because they think they be sexy. But ask yourself what percentage of woman who are models have eating disorders and what percentage of woman are actually really thin in this society. Cudos for getting this discussion started just everyone take a step back and realize thin here is a bigger picture here as well. A youth should not have to strive to b thin like a model our youth should strive to be healthy which can mean u may still have some curves and that is okay

    Published 12.23.13
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  62. SJ wrote:

    I found this post after a friend shared it on Facebook and I mostly do agree with you. Thin body types should never be shamed because lots and lots of women do naturally look this way, models or not, and it's awful to hear if you're thin, and very bad form to put a body type or woman down in favour of another. I only said 'mostly' agree because when it comes to models, I was under the strong impression that models, especially for such a big company, have strict dietary and/or sizes that they have to be, making it not a natural look, but something obtained through a diet. Regardless of that though, like I said, some women do look like this naturally, so putting that size down can make a lot of us feel disgusting.

    Published 12.23.13
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  63. I found this posted on facebook and got quite curious. I do agree with what you're saying,but at the same time I don't. Being skinny is socially acceptable,but if you get any bigger than a size 12 you're fat. I get that we should appreciate all body sizes, but for me I'd like to see a plumper model walking down the runway. I want to see someone like me wearing the latest trends.

    Published 12.23.13
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  64. I found this link on facebook and completely agree. I have a lot of "skinny" friends that are fed up with people telling them to eat a sandwich. A lot of these people cannot gain weight, just like some people can't lose weight. Go you for speaking your mind.

    Published 12.23.13
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  65. Fun Blog wrote:

    Utterly fantastic!! Well spoken..well written

    Published 12.23.13
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  66. What a great post! Such a good point. Women come in all shapes and sizes! I found this post because a friend shared it on Facebook.

    Michelle

    Published 12.23.13
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  67. I have to say I agree with this article. I also need to point out that some guys like big (fat) women but most don't. women however seem to emphasize with other women that are overweight. Society as it does in so many ways is pointing us toward acceptance of being too heavy….. Women on TV are saying big is beautiful etc etc.. To me (as a 6ft 160 pound 50 year old fitness fanatic) all I see when I see women quite obviously overweight is trying to lose weight when they are eating crap and too much of it and trying to tell us they should be accepted as the norm.. The Victoria's secret models are stunning in every way not "skinny" they are slim.. Like the human race used to be like before eating sugar saturated fast food became the laziest way to eat.
    I found your blog through a Facebook posting.. By the way if anyone is interested if you are looking to maintain a healthy shape without too much work …grow it or kill it diet…. If its not something that nature provided don't eat it…. End of rant

    Published 12.23.13
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  68. I have to say I agree with this article. I also need to point out that some guys like big (fat) women but most don't. women however seem to emphasize with other women that are overweight. Society as it does in so many ways is pointing us toward acceptance of being too heavy….. Women on TV are saying big is beautiful etc etc.. To me (as a 6ft 160 pound 50 year old fitness fanatic) all I see when I see women quite obviously overweight is trying to lose weight when they are eating crap and too much of it and trying to tell us they should be accepted as the norm.. The Victoria's secret models are stunning in every way not "skinny" they are slim.. Like the human race used to be like before eating sugar saturated fast food became the laziest way to eat.
    I found your blog through a Facebook posting.. By the way if anyone is interested if you are looking to maintain a healthy shape without too much work …grow it or kill it diet…. If its not something that nature provided don't eat it…. End of rant

    Published 12.23.13
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  69. Tim Roland wrote:

    "Real" Women Dont Have Curves? So women that have curves aren't real?

    Still the most attractive… sorry

    Published 12.23.13
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  70. Well said! I have been on both sides of this one. I used to be a size 2 and then gained a little (ok, a lot) of weight when I stopped smoking.

    BTW – I found the link to your article on facebook.

    Published 12.23.13
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  71. Hey girl, thanks so much for this article!! I completely agree and find everything you said completely true. I'm with ya so much on this that I had written a long blog post about it the day of because I'm sick of people assuming that everyone that's thin or a model has an ED… definitely not true. (Here's my post.)

    Anyway, I saw someone share this on Facebook!

    Thanks,
    Meredith

    Published 12.23.13
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  72. Found this on Facebook :). This article is really great by the way. I'm 5'6 and usually about 115 pounds women seem to always be drawing attention to my weight. My brother is the same way, thin and naturally athletic in build but I've never heard anyone tell him that he should eat more or tell him how lucky he should feel. Ive always though women of different sizes are beautiful and I wish that I could put on a little weight… Sometimes I feel like the average girl would be more accepting of me of I could complain about my chubby thighs or belly. I can't complain about how skinny I am cuz then they well simply say "well I'd rather be skinny like you than like me :/." Anyway I try to ignore it most of the time and my bf of two years loves me the way I am so it Doesnt matter what people say!! 🙂

    Published 12.23.13
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  73. Found this on Facebook :). This article is really great by the way. I'm 5'6 and usually about 115 pounds women seem to always be drawing attention to my weight. My brother is the same way, thin and naturally athletic in build but I've never heard anyone tell him that he should eat more or tell him how lucky he should feel. Ive always though women of different sizes are beautiful and I wish that I could put on a little weight… Sometimes I feel like the average girl would be more accepting of me of I could complain about my chubby thighs or belly. I can't complain about how skinny I am cuz then they well simply say "well I'd rather be skinny like you than like me :/." Anyway I try to ignore it most of the time and my bf of two years loves me the way I am so it Doesnt matter what people say!! 🙂

    Published 12.23.13
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  74. I am a 37 year old woman who has dealt with weight issues my whole life. I have never been able to put on weight even with 3 pregnancies. I can lose weight faster rather than gain. Every time I lose a little it seems like EVERYBODY that I know feels the need to tell me, like I don't already know this, and it really hurts my feelings because like I said it is something that I have always had a battle with. Of course I would like to be at around 125 pounds and not have people tell me that I look anorexic but it's just as hard for me to gain weight than it is for some to lose it. Please keep in mind that I have not ever told a heavier set person that they have put on weight or needed to lose a few pounds. It hurts us thinner people just as much as it hurts you when it comes to weight issues. Every woman's body type is different, therefore we are all Women curves or no curves!

    Published 12.23.13
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  75. Sam Badger wrote:

    Well written! (I found you because someone linked to you on Facebook!)

    Published 12.23.13
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  76. well written! found you from a friend's link shared on FB. needed to read that!! "comparison is the thief of joy" – well said

    Published 12.23.13
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  77. katthomas wrote:

    I totally agree with you! I have 2 daughters, 1 who is curvy and 1 who is built just like these models. Its very sad that my very thin daughter will cry when people call her skinny or boney or tell her she needs to eat. It does the same damage as if they were calling her fat. Its not her fault, she is built exactly like her father, she has a very high metabolism and she is just plain skinny! I try to teach them both that they are both beautiful in different ways but it is so hard when society doesn't reflect the same. I would have never guessed that skinny girls got made fun of or teased until I had one.

    Published 12.23.13
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  78. ktoth04 wrote:

    Your traffic is from reddit.

    Published 12.23.13
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  79. Dinah wrote:

    I found your blog through a friend on Facebook. And while I think you make some good points, I think it's also important to remember that Thin Privilege is a thing. This post breaks it down beautifully, and addresses a lot of the points and concerns voiced in your blog and in the comments. Regarding the phrase "Real Women Have Curves" specifically, These types of reclamations of fat pride wouldn’t need to exist if fat-shaming wasn’t a thing. These types of phrases and attitudes were born of a need to say 'I’m beautiful, too!' They’re responses to social norms." http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/10/lets-talk-about-thin-privilege/

    Published 12.23.13
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  80. "Comparison is the thief of joy" beautiful words and should definitely be preached more than a cut and dry description of what a woman should look like. Granted I am on the other spectrum. I've yo-yo'd from a size 2 to a size 14 for years and body image is something I still struggle with at 25 years old- 26 in a month! Our definitions of body types and our society's image of beauty is molded in our heads at a young age, and unfortunately it's hard to shake even as you become an adult. You may be able to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy thinking- but when it comes down to it- we all go back to that cookie cutter perception and compare ourselves. Rather than having one image of what woman should look like there needs to be messages of variety and celebrations of different body types and understanding that both are with flaws and more importantly with characteristics that make them uniquely beautiful. So being a first time reader, I applaud your point of view. I side with your belief that woman do indeed have curves- but some however are just born with that thin factor that many people envy and unfortunately bash for the reason that it seems unattainable for them- and that they do not have the same thin frame that those we place on a pedestal. It goes back to the media and our societies obsession with the limelight. In order to celebrate the differences in the bodies of woman everywhere- it would be nice if the media would place varieties of body types on that so called pedestal. We are to blame for our own perceptions, but the media could help the battle if they gave us the opportunity to compare beauty on females other than ourselves. I hope that made sense.

    Published 12.23.13
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  81. Unknown wrote:

    Two weeks ago I was called a "child murderer" by a mother's feminist group because I edited images of women (I work in photography). They believe "real women" should be full figured. Well, these people I edited were athletes: the train hard, they have muscle, they eat clean. These people are what children should be aspiring to. Instead, the people trashing me were more comfortable with their kids eating processed junk food and not exercising. The second image you posted, I do not see a "thin" women on the right, she works out if you look at her muscles, she works hard to get like that. I think I need to blog my story too.

    Published 12.23.13
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  82. As a real woman, who has birthed 2 babies, and is naturally slight, and a real woman size 0 with boobs and lady bits and no cosmetic surgeries or anorexia, thank you for this. People tell me to eat a sandwich all the time.

    Published 12.23.13
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  83. 66,000 mph wrote:

    Thank you for this post. I especially appreciated you including "I'll even go further. Even if you weren't born with a vagina, and you identify as a woman, you are a real woman." Your post is all about feeling comfortable and proud in one's own skin, including transgender persons. Sorry to see you received some criticism for that in your comments. Thanks for having the courage to include that.

    Published 12.23.13
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  84. jessica wrote:

    amazing. i know you have gotten tons and tons of the same similar comments, but i will tell you that this skinny girl HAS been hurt in the past from people saying, that i obviously have an eating disorder just because i'm skinny..and i "eat like a bird." i hear it all the time. and i absolutely hate when women who are bigger than i am put me down saying i have no clue what it's like to be made fun of because of my weight..but when in fact that's not the case at all. there was a certain boutique that i used to follow on instagram, and i even bought from this company quite often, but then their company started to grow..and the constant thing they talked about is how they have "normal" models. whatever the hell that means..and it was constant all the time. even their followers started saying it that it just got to the point where it hurt my feelings. what? just cause i weigh 100 pounds, have no boobs/booty, and i'm pretty skinny..this means i'm not normal? uh thanks..yea i hadn't bought anything from them in awhile..and i doubt i will. hey if i'm not normal enough to wear their clothes then i don't even want to. and hey believe me i do wish i had a "little more meat on my bones" for these colder months, but God made me this way..normal or not.

    great post, Tyler!!

    Published 12.23.13
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  85. Lawli wrote:

    Excellent article. I have a disease called celiac disorder and genetics that makes me boney skinny. Weekly (if not daily) I hear "oh I wish I had what you have…" No you don't! It sucks being allergic to everything and having to closely watch my diet. Genetics play a big role in my shape, but certain diseases can cause people to lose weight. It's not fun to feel like you're wasting away.

    Published 12.23.13
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  86. K&R wrote:

    so a friend of mine posted a link to your blog on fb and let me just say thank you.

    being a rather petite girl this has always bothered me. ya i'm 5'3 ya i weight 90 pounds and wear a 00, but i'm a small person, i always have been and always will be. i eat a whole pizza whenever i want, i do what i want. i also have spent countless hours exercising. this is just how my body is and it makes me so upset when people tell me to "eat a sandwich" because they don't get it. yes some thin people may have eating disorders, but that doesn't mean anything. i'm also for the real woman, i've still got curves, but i'm petite. what bothers me also is when "fat" girls are shown as real girls and its honestly not healthy to be overweight. i think what we should aim for is "healthy" girls, not real girls, not skinny girls, but healthy, because in the end that is what matters. so there end of rant, but i totally agree, how come i can't say someone's fat if they can tell me i'm too skinny?

    Published 12.23.13
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  87. K&R wrote:

    so a friend of mine posted a link to your blog on fb and let me just say thank you.

    being a rather petite girl this has always bothered me. ya i'm 5'3 ya i weight 90 pounds and wear a 00, but i'm a small person, i always have been and always will be. i eat a whole pizza whenever i want, i do what i want. i also have spent countless hours exercising. this is just how my body is and it makes me so upset when people tell me to "eat a sandwich" because they don't get it. yes some thin people may have eating disorders, but that doesn't mean anything. i'm also for the real woman, i've still got curves, but i'm petite. what bothers me also is when "fat" girls are shown as real girls and its honestly not healthy to be overweight. i think what we should aim for is "healthy" girls, not real girls, not skinny girls, but healthy, because in the end that is what matters. so there end of rant, but i totally agree, how come i can't say someone's fat if they can tell me i'm too skinny?

    Published 12.23.13
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  88. I agree 100%, you make a valid point, and I wish people would think more like you instead of the other way around, but it's simple, blame the fact that there are endless runway shows centered around skinny women wearing clothes only tailored for a women who is a size 2. Send a girl who is only 2 sizes above that to a modeling agency and they'll send her away and tell her to zip her mouth for a couple months and come back then. Unfortunately although I do not believe it's right for any women to judge another, it will continue to happen, because the very ones who raise most of these girls are told what they believe is actual beauty, which in this case is completely incorrect. We cannot be blind to the subject here, the smaller you are the more praise you receive. You don't see a runway shows with girls of all sizes, because those items of clothes are not one size fits all, but instead one size fits one, and done. That's the end of that. When they make an entire show with performers and have beautiful women of all shapes and sizes rocking beautiful pieces of lingerie together, then this topic will be put to rest.

    Published 12.23.13
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  89. Nikki Galo wrote:

    Well I dont think this is what a real woman looks like because they go on liquid diets for days and have personal trainer. Once every woman around the world gets these things. That's when they will be "real women". None of us middle class women have personal trainers, chefs, and liquid diets. Victoria's Secret should advertise their clothing in average women because those women are the ones buying it. This generating is starving themselves an feeling bad about their bodies because of these models. Have you get considered that? They get boob jobs, lip plumper, hair extensions, etc. that's just my opinion. You dot have to agree. But I am putting it out there.

    Published 12.23.13
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  90. Nikki Galo wrote:

    Oh an. If your skinny that's fine but VS models have help, and most women don't. The end

    Published 12.23.13
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  91. Nikki Galo wrote:

    Oh an. If your skinny that's fine but VS models have help, and most women don't. The end

    Published 12.23.13
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  92. I am a new reader and one of my friends posted this on Facebook. I could not agree more. I am 17 and am signed with a modeling agency in London. All throughout middle school i was lanky and skinny and girls were constantly telling me to fill out and that i needed to eat a hamburger. The sad thing was that after a while I actually wanted to gain weight. I also was a really involved competitive figure skater, so after a while i started gaining more muscle and looking more "normal" but have recently quit and am thinning out again. Lately my friends and certain family members have been telling me I am "too skinny" and it doesn't look right and even acussign me of having an eating problem. It is not only insulting that they are accusing me of this but actually so offensive and hurtful. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me just like any girl who is over weight and gets called fat. Whats worse is that people don't understand that telling someone they are too thin is just as hurtful as telling someone they are to fat, in both cases you are saying there is something wrong with the person … not okay. I support this one hundred percent! When people say we support a healthy body image or all body shapes, they often times overlook the other side of the spectrum

    Published 12.23.13
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  93. T wrote:

    I agree with you but I think the big thing for girls is that boys want them to look like that. It's not women who we seek attention from, it's men. It will always be men. And when a man is ranting an raving about how hot their bods are it is just natural for a woman with a lower self of steem to aspire to have that body. I am by no means big or fat but still with my size 2/4 jeans I still feel like bodies like that get more attention and those are the bodies I need to strive for. It's sad and heartbreaking but at the end of the day we dress for women but aspire to have bodies men want.

    Published 12.23.13
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  94. I found you through a facebook link.. and I have to say that this is possibly the best blog I have read in a while cause you speak from all sides.. you are not condemning one side more then the other or having a fat vs. skinny debate you are just stating that all women who feel confident and sexy and empowered and LOVE their skin are REAL WOMEN and for that I thank you

    Published 12.23.13
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  95. found you on Facebook and I for one am a big girl but I have never felt that skinny or thin or anything of the sort is any better or worse than I aM. I have struggled to lose weight since 2006 I used to be the Thin girl the in shape girl. but for some reason I just can't lose the weight I would hate to have been ridiculed for my size then just as I hate it nowit's awful how we criticize a woman because of her size or her shape or her face and its cold jealousy. we all know what our flAws are and we don't need them pointed out to us. those women on Victoria's Secret were all In shape. I enjoyed the show and never thought that any on them were disgusting or needed to eat a sandwhich. Thanks for your blog. I think a reality check is needed and you did a good job voicing it.

    Published 12.23.13
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  96. Love it! Found this on a friend's Facebook page.

    Published 12.23.13
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  97. ashley_n wrote:

    I found this post through an acquaintance and it makes me so happy that you've posted this. I'm 5'7", weigh 115, wear and A cup and size 0 pants. I used to get made fun of because of my size. "You're too skinny." "You need to eat more." "There's no way you're at a healthy weight." I'm not sorry that I'm so thin. I can't help it, and I know it. I love the way I am, even if I am a bit awkward at times. I really hope that other girls see this and learn to be proud of the way that they're built. We're all unique and beautiful.

    Published 12.23.13
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  98. Love it. Well said. Saw this post from a share on Facebook!

    Published 12.23.13
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  99. found you on Facebook and I for one am a big girl but I have never felt that skinny or thin or anything of the sort is any better or worse than I aM. I have struggled to lose weight since 2006 I used to be the Thin girl the in shape girl. but for some reason I just can't lose the weight I would hate to have been ridiculed for my size then just as I hate it nowit's awful how we criticize a woman because of her size or her shape or her face and its cold jealousy. we all know what our flAws are and we don't need them pointed out to us. those women on Victoria's Secret were all In shape. I enjoyed the show and never thought that any on them were disgusting or needed to eat a sandwhich. Thanks for your blog. I think a reality check is needed and you did a good job voicing it.

    Published 12.23.13
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  100. found you on a fb post. great post.

    Published 12.23.13
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  101. E Tully wrote:

    I think it's wonderful that there are so many thin and proud woman out there. I wholeheartedly feel that we should accept ourselves the way we are, especially if we are making an effort to be healthy.

    However, I think you are burying your head in the sand if you don't admit that many models (and actresses and celebs) are forced to keep below a certain weight and are shamed for gaining or going up to sizes which most of us would consider normal. The modeling world is full of anorexia and drug use. These are not all women who "just can't put on weight."

    I am reminded of the story of a model who claimed that she could "eat anything she wanted" only to find out that "anything" meant sharing a cheeseburger with three other models.

    Rude and comments are just that. But that does not meat that all those models are at their modeling weight naturally.

    Published 12.23.13
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  102. My wife was a 90-pound beanpole for her adolescence and most of her 20s, and she's still pretty thin now. And she's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. The whole "real women have curves!" thing always made my blood boil a bit, right along with "real men prefer big women."

    I found this through my buddy Christian Migliorese, who is an aspiring pop songwriter.

    Published 12.23.13
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  103. To play devil's advocate, I remember watching an interview with Adrianna Lima after the VS fashion show a couple years ago where she talked about her 'diet' leading up to the fashion show. She pretty much had a liquid fast diet for the 2 weeks prior and then tried to shed as much water weight and fat leading up to the day of the event as she possible could (like a body builder would before a competition). So if that is in fact the case that the models do fast for days to weeks before the show to be 'in shape', then they do in fact need to eat a sandwich :P.

    However, the VS models do not look emaciated, they don't really have ribs and bones showing or otherwise look like they are unhealthy. But with the type of preparation they make for the show, they are not exactly natural either. I do find it different than some of the high fashion models walking the Paris runways, for instance, do actually look sickly, have bones of their vertebrae sticking out and 'too skinny' (even medical professionals would agree). And many of them are required to maintain a lifestyle that is unhealthy just so they can get runway work.

    Published 12.23.13
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  104. I love that you said this! and I completely agree! I am a performer and I am constantly amazed at the gorgeous women i work alongside who are size 2 and 3 and such inevitably insecure about their size!!! And the blame cannot be squarely put on men. Women are the biggest bashers of women. As a man I can say with much authority that there are millions of us who honestly don't see the size faults women see in themselves. The key words to your blog that resounded to me was BE HEALTHY!!! Thats all i ever want to see n a fellow human being..Thnak you so much for writing this…btw saw this on FB – cheers Big John3

    Published 12.23.13
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  105. A friend of mine shared this on Facebook, and I'm glad she did. Granted this post may not apply to me as a man, as a father, son, and boyfriend I feel that this is perfect. There is no need for "thin shaming" or "fat shaming" at all. The fact that there are even terms for these acts is appalling. Women should feel comfortable in the skin they're in. We as humans were all made differently, and are all beautiful in our own right. I hope that my girls, and any woman in the world can appreciate their figure for what it truly is.

    Published 12.23.13
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  106. These women actually work quite hard to attain the body type that they have. Evidently they would have been born with the height and the facial shapes that were not altered by cosmetic surgery, but the muscle tone, healthy skin, and healthy hair all come from a regimented diet and consistent workout schedule!

    Published 12.23.13
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  107. If you asked 99% of these real women if they would rather have a VS model's body, they would most likely say no way! If you asked them behind closed doors, 99% of them would say absolutely. These women are models and gorgeous and shouldn't be shamed out of jealousy. I stumbled upon this column and will now go on to read more! Great post!

    Published 12.23.13
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  108. I so agree! I hate that you can't seem to win whatever shape you are. I think it's a lot to do with people not learning how to deal with there own self esteem issues and so they project on other people instead of learning to be ok with themselves. It's so easy to do without thinking.

    And FYI a friend posted this blog on FB and it came up on my news feed. Just so you know 🙂

    Published 12.23.13
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  109. I found this post on a friend's wall on facebook…I just want to say thank you. I've felt so trapped and misunderstood, your message resonates with me strongly.

    Published 12.24.13
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  110. BlondJohn wrote:

    Here's the big picture: you made fantastic points and you're getting lots of good and deserved attention, but some of the riffraff is getting through… some commenters make me stabby. Great article though! I found it because a friend texted me, who saw it shared on facebook by a friend that found it on reddit who saw a tweet about it from a friend of a friend of yours.

    Published 12.24.13
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  111. Lou Box wrote:

    Whilst I agree whole-heartedly that no one in a caring society should either thin- or fat-shame and I agree with your article for the most part; I would also caution that the only aspirational models that we see, generally, in our shops and magazines are very tall and very slim women.
    There needs to be variety. And VS is not blameless in perpetuating this 'one size is attractive' rhetoric.

    Yes to 'skinnies' yes to 'curvies' yes to a total acceptance of all woman-kind but can we please have that reflected on our runways and in our magazines too?

    Published 12.24.13
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  112. Amazing…shared by my best friend on facebook.

    It's the title it's perfect.

    Published 12.24.13
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  113. EndItNow wrote:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this!! Women are women… theres nothing more too it and people need to stop comparing! Love your saying "comparison is the thief of joy" because it is so incredibly true.
    The only thing I think you might have overlooked (or saved for another day, just as a lot of other topics that arose as you were writing) is the idea that these women are plastered everywhere in the media as the only "pretty" women in this world, and young girls get the idea that if they don't look like them, they're not pretty. This is where the whole "eat a sandwich" concept comes from. That saying is an awful way of putting it, but it essentially references the horribly high number of young girls who are starving themselves to look like this (not realizing that these girls are naturally skinny as you said) – which is where the "real women have curves" slogan comes from.
    At the end of the day… the internet amplifies/ruins all of these movements with "good intentions" and we need to teach our children to stop comparing and start loving themselves the way they are! Just my two cents!

    Published 12.24.13
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  114. Look I don't think it's the fact that skinny woman such as VS women aren't real women. It's more the fact that women who are skinny like that are used as an ideal for all women when really the average sized women are between size 12-14. So, instead of having just skinny models VS and magazines who use models need to realize women of all sizes need to be represented. And no one should be telling us that size 2 or size 14 is the ideal. We need to share the idea that " healthy" is the ideal so if you are healthy and a size 4 great. If you are healthy at a size 12 great. But if you are throwing up and only eating vegetables to maintain a size 2 that is not healthy. If you have rolls and rolls of fat around your middle from being sedentary and over eating that also isn't healthy and shouldn't be glorified as an ideal.

    Published 12.24.13
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  115. I appreciate your post but I feel you miss the point entirely. The slogan didn't come about as a way to shame skinny girls or to hate on models, as some people have turned it into. Those slogans come from encouraging young girls who don't look like Giselle or Heidi Klum that they are naturally beautiful without trying to meet somebody else's standard of beauty. That is what the fashion industry, media and culture does. So while you have a point standing up against anyone saying nasty things about any lady, your rant really only reinforces the unattainable goal of looking like somebody else's dream girl.

    Published 12.24.13
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  116. Evan Fisch wrote:

    Right on. America is transforming from rewarding hard work and standing out among the rest to condemning sought after attributes such as health, beauty, or intelligence. It is classic liberal hypocrisy to encourage diversity and uniqueness, then criticize others who are better than them in whatever that may be. You are on to something here.

    Published 12.24.13
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  117. Great piece to read, thank you!
    (Link on Facebook)

    Published 12.24.13
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  118. Katie wrote:

    I never NEVER comment on these things, however I could not agree more. I am 5'1" and 97 lbs, and I get extreme judgement for being tiny. I had a guidance counselor ask me if I had an eating disorder and was very blunt. I was so offended! That is equivalent to asking someone larger if they have a binge eating problem, it's rude! My mom is also very tiny. One time when she was in the dressing room if she could have a size 0 because the size 1 didn't fit. A mother next to her said extremely loudly "I would give my daughter a sandwhich if she was ever a size 0." Really people!? Appreciate women the way they are whether that be curvy, skinny, or somewhere inbetween!!

    Published 12.24.13
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  119. This was a very insensitive article, I'm sorry. And it made me really upset. While I semi agree with you, I agree with people who are telling you that you are completely missing the point. We know women aren't supposed to look alike, that's obvious. The media has made people believe that being skinny is the only way to be, and while I enjoy the VSFS, it is really hard for some people to watch because that's how they think they should look. I think you're being very insensitive to those who don't understand that even though they are beautiful and healthy, they don't think they are because a strong majority of people, expect and want girls to look like those models.

    This: "I hope you don't mind when that skinny woman tells you that you're a fat ass. Because that's exactly the sort of shaming you're giving her." Seriously..? Have a bit of respect. These women in this fashion show work for they have, which is why they deserved to be treated like a real woman. But no one should ever say such a thing like you said. I understand where you're going, but you chose a terrible way to word it. People blame genes for being fat AND skinny, believe it or not.

    You're talking to people like me, who have always been naturally insecure and I have recently become more comfortable with myself. When these are the ONLY kind of women you see anywhere, it makes it hard to be comfortable if you don't look like that.I If everyones a woman, don't call someone a fatass. (That enraged me, calling someone a fatass is different then telling someone to eat a burger, watch your choice of words). I don't know anyone that says they look abnormal, and if someone does, they are just doing it out of jealousy, and they make it obvious.

    I'm going to stop here, you could have written this with a better attitude. I agree with your positive message, but this article came across awfully negative.

    Published 12.24.13
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  120. I've been tiny all my life that in high school I was lucky if I was able to hit 100 lbs. Also being a dancer didn't help much because I would burn off anything I ate (still do) but managed to make more muscle to help me weigh more. But you canstill see my ribs, in scschool I always got the "go eat a sandwich" by guys and woman a like. I even had a girl in my gym class call me a hermaphrodite because I had a six pack and "girls could only get a four pack". And being young and hearing that hurts no matter if it was because of jealousy or hatred or bad knowledge. And it doesn't help that media is telling women that you have to be skinny to be something. That is why I like Victoria secret because they are trying to help fight against that. But models are models and they have a tough job.

    Also found this via link from Facebook.

    Published 12.24.13
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  121. Yes! It's like you took the words out of my head! I love it! I'm glad this post is getting so much attention – everyone needs to hear this!

    I don't follow your blog. I read it when friend shared it on Facebook.

    Published 12.24.13
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  122. I agree with you and most here. But I do have to say that unfortunately many models, actresses and singers do eat very little to look good. Many save their calories so they can drink. Some even rely on drugs to help them stay thin. We don't know who is naturally thin and who puts their body thru Hell to look like that. What we need to express to young girls now is that women have come a long way. We have proven we are beautiful mind, body, soul and heart. Just as a woman will find a fit man attractive she will also find a man with a belly just as good looking. We as people like what we like and we need to be happy with ourselves. Teach our kids to be happy with ourselves and we will emit confidence; which I believe is the sexiest thing of all.

    Published 12.24.13
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  123. YES YES YES! Real women cook (or don't), real women have children (or don't), real women are real people with individual personalities and preferences. Love this post. You RULE.

    Published 12.24.13
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  124. Amy E wrote:

    yes! thank you for this article. we need to embrace our difference rather than shaming those who look different than us! love your blog.

    from a fellow arkansan,
    the orchid avenue

    Published 12.24.13
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  125. Mark Jones wrote:

    I found this from a friend on facebook. I don't know who you are, but I thought you should know. You…are awesome. Nuff said

    Published 12.24.13
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  126. I agree 100% however there is one thing that I would like to add. The idea that these Victoria Secret models may be thin because of lucky genetics may be true in some cases, but the majority of these models eat clean and work out hard in the gym. They spend a lot of time sweating in the gym and prepping meals in the kitchen. Also they have a fabulous hair and make up team. Good lighting helps too.

    Published 12.24.13
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  127. Great post. A friend of mine posted it on Facebook…so that's how I got wind of it…and wrote a response to it in my (brand new) blog. I agree almost entirely with what you said…except I addressed the importance of looking at the media when discussing these issues. So while it's vital we accept women of all shapes and sizes, I don't think it's wrong to judge the use of certain bodies in advertising and the media. There's definitely a distinction to be made, but the fact is that women who have pretty much any ounce of fat are ridiculed and marginalized. Again though, great post and wonderful points. Here's a link to my post: http://justtobeblunt.blogspot.com

    Published 12.24.13
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  128. Drew Brown wrote:

    A friend on facebook shared a direct link to the blog. Great article! I'll definitely come back again for more reads. You've got a great mind!

    Published 12.24.13
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  129. I ran across this post on FB. I was born premature so I have always been petite. After I graduated college and landed my first full-time job, my anxiety rose and my body went crazy and I lost a bunch of weight without trying. Everyone felt like it was their job to comment on how skinny i was (like it was some huge revelation to me when they would tell me) and i heard "put some meat on your bones," and "let me buy you a sandwich" all the time. my sister thought i had an eating disorder which made me extremely self-conscious. Yes, i was eating enough and yes, i was healthy, but i was so concerned about what others thought that i could not feel confident in my body. I even joined a gym to try to gain muscle weight. That was how self-conscious i became. Now that my job is less stressful and i have gained some weight back, people still tell me to eat a sandwich to put some "meat on my bones." If i was a girl who really had an eating disorder, those comments would be so much more hurtful than helpful. We need to stop judging and start loving, but most of all, we need to look to not each other for validation, but to Jesus Christ. I am confident now because i am accepted by God, just as I am.

    Published 12.24.13
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  130. A friend of mine post this on FB and I was curious so i came and read… i think you're right about this real women stuff we are not alike and each of us is different and beautifull in her difference 🙂 I really like your post and what you say i think everyone should think like that sadly it is not the case and thats just sad…

    Published 12.24.13
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  131. mahleelove wrote:

    I have to say that, based on this article, you are an extremely superficial woman. You attack "curvy girls" and in a very nasty way. Really, your message was lost within all of your name-calling and nastiness. You're true colors show for sure. I especially enjoyed how, after tearing apart "fat asses", you incorporated the whole "you're beautiful whether you're adele-size or miranda kerr-size". I'm going to say that the burden of being "curvy" outweighs that of being the size of a VS model. Shame on you for bashing other women. Your argument is null and void, as you are NO different than the said "skinny bashers".

    Published 12.24.13
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  132. El Bonds wrote:

    I'm glad that I am not the only one who thinks this. As a tall very thin male, I have been told to eat more food by people of all shapes and sizes. Some have even gone so far as to ask if I am eating food at all. The punch line of this, is that people who do not understand that my whole family is tall and thin, and that I am a Cross Country runner have hounded me year after year about whether or not if I am getting enough food to eat. I eat more than enough food.

    The sad thing is that if I were to ever turn the tables on them, like you have said, all hell would break loose and I would be accused of insulting another person for their shape, size, eating habits, athleticism, and numerous other things. There are times where I have no faith in humanity, but then I come across readings like this. Where I say thank you!!!

    I found your post on my Facebook news feed.

    Published 12.24.13
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  133. Ariel wrote:

    I found this blog post via Facebook. A friend shared this article.

    At first I was appalled with the title, then I clicked on it and started to read, and realized that you have a good point!

    We are all women, no matter what, or how we look. As long as we got dat pussy, or we made a pussy on our body, we are a woman.

    Thank you. This has made me feel slightly joyed, and happy to know there ARE intelligent, bright human beings online, ha ha!

    Published 12.24.13
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  134. My daughter posted this on Facebook. Wow, can I relate!! I'm 5'11" & weighed 135lbs most of my life. Born tall & skinny. I grew up being called string bean, toothpick & Olive Oyle! As a woman in my 20's & 30's, I was called a "coke whore" "aneroxic" "bulemic" & told by women I looked sick, but men told me I looked like a model! Years later, I broke my neck & got very sick. I gained 65lbs in 3 years!! Now, I'm called a "fat pig" told to go on a diet, and people watch what I put on my plate & if I have 2nds! Where does this insanity end?! Skinny OR fat, there's no way to "win" if you allow others to determine how you look or feel! I'm losing weight now, because I'm not a heavy person normally. Not looking forward to being called a "coke whore" again, but that didn't hurt as bad as being injured & being called a "fat pig!" I'm going to be ok with ME!! Look the way that makes ME feel good about MYSELF! God Bless the Women, big & small ~ Bless us ALL!

    Published 12.24.13
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  135. I found this post through Hussy Magazine on facebook, which is an awesome magazine btw!!

    Published 12.24.13
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  136. Amy wrote:

    Great post! I am naturally slender and I always get comments about how "skinny" I am. I can deal with that but what really would irk me is if my daughter, who has severe food allergies and only has a few safe foods, would be told to just "eat a sandwich"… and then go the ER right? We don't know other people's stories so let's just live out the law of love and treat each other with kindness! I am not a regular reader. I found you through a FB post. 🙂

    Published 12.24.13
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  137. kc wrote:

    Hey Tyler! I found your blog via Facebook from a friend who shared your post. I could absolutely not agree with you more on this. I am 5' 1" and have struggled with my weight since I was 15 (going back and forth gaining 30 lbs and losing it for no reason that we can figure out). I have been to so many doctors and tried to find out why my body does what it does without my changing a thing… but in the end, I AM STILL A WOMAN. Curves or no curves, we all still have feelings and not every girl aspires to be "skinny" or look "unhealthy," but even if they do, that is their choice and their business. I don't blame you for the rant and I love some of the comments I'm reading! Our society has gone weight crazy, and it's a damn shame. Our morals and values and character are so much more important than every pound we "should" gain or lose! Keep smiling pretty ladies, and give all of the back lashing a big middle finger!

    Published 12.24.13
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  138. Found your blog via a post from a friend who lives in arkansas:) I couldn't help but share on my Facebook with the women in my life because I could have practically stood up and shouted "sweet baby jesus THANK YOU! someone finally said what I've been trying to share these past few years". Great job, thank you for reminding women we don't have to be each others, or our own, worst enemy

    http://jovannarhea.blogspot.com

    Published 12.24.13
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  139. ray wrote:

    Although I agree that women come in all different shapes and sizes, I disagree that one woman should never tell another woman how she should look. There are some cases where a woman is actually noticeably suffering from an eating disorder and then it would be a crime for someone to bite their tongue. I believe you got so much traffic on this post because you took a lit of very strong standpoints in the form of definites where there is room for interpretation. This invites argument or strong resonation, depending on the audience.

    To be clear, I'm mot suggesting the victorias secret angels are struggling with eating disorders. Im not fully informed on their history. I do know they diet and exercise. I do agree genes play a role. Some may take dieting too far bordering on disorder according to some interview revelations. Do a bit of research and I'd love to hear a follow up argument on whether some may actually struggle with eating disorders.

    Published 12.24.13
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  140. To the Tara Eveland that said "it's just dumb to say people not born with vaginas can call themselves real women" shame on you. Honestly, SHAME ON YOU. You have every right to PERSONALLY feel that, had you been born a man wanting a vagina, you wouldn't be allowed to call YOURSELF a "real woman" if you had a sex change (or just had the want to do so). It's people like you with your judgy BS ways that create these "standards" and spewing the substandard excuse of "freedom of speech" to sling around your hate. Even if you want to attempt the religion train, try quoting me a verse where a man can't be a woman….better yet, maybe go read the MANY verses on loving thy neighbor and not casting any stones.
    SMH
    But back to the important part, this blog, it's so perfectly written. Even if those models weren't born with skinny genes, they've all worked their perfectly molded little tushies to get there. Those bodies ARE healthy. FACE IT!! If we all ate correct portions of a strict healthy food diet AND worked out as often as we're suppose to, we'd all have close-to-model bodies. Maybe not THESE models, but hell, I'd kill just to look like some of the plus size models too (granted, that would require a mirical workout to make my boobs bigger).
    So please, for anyone wanting to disrespect these absolutely gorgeous girls, take a look at yourself first. Think about your hurtful words and think, MAYBE your own daughter will grow up to be this stunning, and MAYBE she'll stumble across your words. It's up to you if those words are of love or hate.

    And to answer the blog question, I found this through a share on Facebook 🙂

    Published 12.24.13
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  141. First time reader, very very skinny too. I never in my life even thought about making a comment on someone else's size, size is actually something I don't even notice that much in other women. I was totaly driven mad and about to do a killer comment on a girl stomach once, when a girl, after steeling my then love intrest and me accepting the fact with no hard feeling, felt the need to tell me to eat some pasta too, knowing I have celiac disease (= I can not eat pasta) and that this could be partly accounted for me being skinny. But, simply not having the different size bashing in me, I ended up deciding to simply send her to fu_k herself big time instead of using her weight to do so. Couldn't agree more with all this post says!!!

    Published 12.24.13
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  142. First time reader, found you on facebook through a link my friend posted. I agree, why can't we all just be who we are without being shamed for it.

    Published 12.24.13
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  143. Sera E wrote:

    Im new to your blog…I found you on FB thru a friends link and Im so happy I clicked on it and continued reading…Thank You for writing this…very well said 🙂 I couldn't agree with you more..THANK YOU!!!!

    Published 12.24.13
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  144. THANK YOU! How can we say that it is not ok for men to critique us and put us in a box of what we are supposed to be when we turn around and judge and criticize each other?! Saw this post shared on my Facebook feed, FYI.

    Published 12.24.13
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  145. Jen Gaab wrote:

    AMEN SISTER!!
    Can I point out that these women Do have curves, not rolls, but curves.

    Jealously and discrimination is what is ugly!!

    Thanks for writing this.

    Jen G.

    First time reader, saw it on Facebook.

    Published 12.24.13
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  146. This is awesome. More power to you. I have had countless people question my exercise habits and tell me to slow down because I am a size 2 and I should be "done losing weight." I AM TRAINING FOR THE BOSTON MARATHON PEOPLE!! Just be your healthy and love who you are, thats what matters!
    Thank you for this!
    Found it on facebook!
    Any Merry Christmas (or Happy Holidays)!

    Published 12.24.13
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  147. Lila wrote:

    This is difficult to express so I apologize if I butcher it.

    Firstly- I wholeheartedly agree with you that it is completely unfair to tell anyone what the physical standard of being a real woman is or is not. My roommate is extremely thin and has suffered for years from anorexic comments that are untrue.

    That being said, I'm not sure that the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show is the greatest example for your argument. We are being woefully ignorant if we think that those models' bodies are not the result of arduous work and precise, NOT anorexic, but PRECISE eating plans. There IS a standard for those models to attain by the time of the show, that they must maintain, and it is not attainable for the average person who can't afford the personal trainers and nutritionists. As a feminist I advocate for women to have the CHOICE to be whatever and look however they want so I'm not saying they are wrong for wanting to look that way.

    But. We live in a world where one single image is prized and honored above all others and women who don't fit the standard DO have the right to be angry. That frustration should not be belittled in favor of pretending that we're all equal and are treated equally. It's like someone preaching to remember to be respectful to straight couples while gay couples don't have rights. We don't need a reminder, straight people already have the power.

    But finally, I come back to a place of agreement with you. To fight inequality with such hurtful and ineffective statements as "eat a sandwich" does nothing for the cause and further divides women amongst themselves. I myself find little solace in those "comeback campaigns" of very large women wearing lingerie because I still don't see myself. I am neither as skinny as the pictures of Vogue or as large as the campaign models and biologically we want to see ourselves or something we can actually attain in advertising- otherwise we are alienated.

    Let us strive for diversity of images, for both short, fat, skinny, tall, and everything in between women to be honored equally and promoted equally. So that when a little girl looks at a poster or watches something, they can say, "I might grow up to be like that", not "I have to stop eating to be like that", or "I have to eat more to be like that."

    Published 12.24.13
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  148. Matt wrote:

    Fantastic post, and it needs to keep being said. It is not okay to shame a woman for her appearance. Period.

    Published 12.24.13
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  149. Mikey Mc wrote:

    Could you fix the first line please? Because I was born with a vagina, continued breathing and very strictly do not identify as a woman. It's great to see you're taking steps to include trans women- after all, they encounter body shaming more than anyone- but don't forget that the trans community is broader than that and includes some people who were female assigned at birth.

    Published 12.24.13
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  150. I'm not a usual reader. I stumbled upon your article from a friend posting it on Facebook. It definitely hit home. Thanks for writing it!

    Published 12.24.13
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  151. This is bs. Yes, it is okay for women to be naturally skinny. Yes, it is okay for women to be naturally thicker. But these people are showcasing ONLY skinny women and the majority of them have starved themselves to be that way. That is NOT natural and it is NOT healthy. Stop supporting these things because you might be skinny and feel better that others like you are being showcased on television. Doing so makes thicker women who feel the same as you or probably worse. Lets face it, skinny women are not ridiculed as much as thicker women. Does America have a massive anorexia problem ? No, we have an obesity problem. That still doesn't make it okay to starve women and then put them half naked on stage and call them "some of the most beautiful women on the planet".

    Published 12.24.13
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  152. This is bs. Yes, it is okay for women to be naturally skinny. Yes, it is okay for women to be naturally thicker. But these people are showcasing ONLY skinny women and the majority of them have starved themselves to be that way. That is NOT natural and it is NOT healthy. Stop supporting these things because you might be skinny and feel better that others like you are being showcased on television. Doing so makes thicker women who feel the same as you or probably worse. Lets face it, skinny women are not ridiculed as much as thicker women. Does America have a massive anorexia problem ? No, we have an obesity problem. That still doesn't make it okay to starve women and then put them half naked on stage and call them "some of the most beautiful women on the planet".

    Published 12.24.13
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  153. I found this on Facebook and I just want to say that I am appalled. First off, the girl that posted it was on my college track team and was kicked off because she needed to be hospitalized for an eating disorder. But that besides that, you have done exactly what this article complains about. You are calling people fat asses and such. Because of this, your argument is now irrelevant to me.
    Another thing that really struck me about this article is the tone. As a recovered anorexic myself (I was 5foot and ranged between 75 and 80 pounds) this sounds exactly like something that I would have said back then. I didn't understand why people always told me to gain weight because I wasn't what they thought was healthy. Well, I really wasn't. And if you look at some of the behind the scenes stuff about VS models(like REALLY behind the scenes) you'll see that even though they say they eat a lot, they don't really. Two bites of a burger is not eating a burger. And they're not healthy either. Now, I understand that some people really are just naturally skinny, and that's fine. I would never shame them. That's not their fault, and this is the argument that you tried to disguise your true argument under. So shame on you for suggesting that it's ok for girls to starve themselves to look like this.

    Published 12.24.13
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  154. This is one of the greatest pieces of writing I've read in a long time! Everything you said is 100% true. Being a tall, slender girl, I always hated when people would tell me I need to eat more. I'm not hungry, my jeans fit wonderfully, and if I wanted to eat more, I would thank you very much. Life is hard enough already, we shouldn't have the added issues of not feeling like a real woman because we wear a size 4.
    (My friend posted your article on Facebook)

    Published 12.24.13
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  155. Thank You for saying what millions of men think! All women are beautiful regardless of what they look like. Ladies are the nurtures of life. What's more beautiful than that?

    Published 12.24.13
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  156. Thank You for saying what millions of men think! All women are beautiful regardless of what they look like. Ladies are the nurtures of life. What's more beautiful than that?

    Published 12.24.13
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  157. Thank You for saying what millions of men think! All women are beautiful regardless of what they look like. Ladies are the nurtures of life. What's more beautiful than that?

    Published 12.24.13
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  158. I already commented, but I wanted to add something after reading some of the other comments!

    It is true that the media pushes a certain body type as the "ideal body" but it is also true that times are changing. Years ago, yes you saw lots of super tall, super skinny gorgeous models everywhere, which they are great! But now I feel like there's more diversity in what the media shows. Yes, they are still gorgeous women but it isn't unusual to walk through the store and see Kim Kardashian or Beyoncé, both who have the most amazing curves and killer bodies. Sure they have the money to eat right and have a trainer but they also have the MOTIVATION to work out and the DESIRE to eat healthy which I think is something our society is lacking. You don't have to join a gym to work out and you don't have to shop at Whole Foods to eat healthy. There is always a solution, we have just decided to give excuses instead of actually putting in some effort.
    (And like someone said above; curves are way different than rolls)

    Published 12.24.13
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  159. Erika wrote:

    Thank you for this post. I appreciate you pointing out that the real problem is that "comparison is the thief of joy." I could stand to internalize that myself.

    (friend posted your article on FB.)

    Published 12.24.13
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  160. aimshaman wrote:

    never read you before, rarely read blog posts, a friend shared the article on facebook and the hot models and tagline caused me to click and read.

    i agree with your sentiment by the way.

    Published 12.24.13
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  161. This is definitely one of the best posts i have read in a very long time!
    one of my friends shared this on facebook and it's so nice to see something written that doesnt have an "us and them" mindset towards sizes of women and what constitutes to a 'real woman'.
    I am one of these who are often told i am anorexic, get told to eat on a regular occasion. even had a work mate who i had to share a hotel room with one weekend for staff training tell everybody at work that i had an eating disorder (was a bit silly considering that we worked in a 24 hour care home so it was quite clear that people saw me eat copious amounts) anyway, gone off on a tangent slightly there! excellent post! Thank you 🙂

    Published 12.24.13
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  162. OMG thank you for this! It was exactly what I needed to read today! I'm naturally a size 0, I'm not model-thin, but my waist is tiny and I'm not particularly curvy. My boyfriend is pretty bad about thin-shaming. When I decide that I want to eat healthy (read: HEALTHY, not less, just better foods) he always tries to sabotage me because he says I'm obsessed with being too skinny and it's unattractive. However, when I do out on more weight, I feel uncomfortable with myself, I feel out of shape and unhealthy. He wonders why I'm not in as good of a mood or not as happy when this happens. It is OK to be naturally thin. Be HEALTHY whatever size and shape you are. That's what's important. (Btw, I'm not a usual reader, but one of my friends shared your post on Facebook)

    Published 12.24.13
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  163. Furthermore, how about men being made to feel superficial or otherwise shamed for LIKING thin women? Larger girls, it's not personal. I like what I like. You can't help what you're attracted to. But, for some reason, if a guy states that he doesn't like thicker girls then that's apparently wrong and he should be ashamed of himself…

    Published 12.24.13
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  164. Good morning!
    I came across your post that someone commented on FB. I love that you acknowledged the REAL problem that is affecting our young women and teens..COMPARING ourselves to others.

    I am 44 years old and am former Mrs. Idaho America 2012, so I am very aware of the public perception on womens' ideal figure. Since I've been involved in pageants over the last several years, it is amazing to me how critical others can be when a woman decides to participate in a program such as a pageant. If a women feels confident in her own skin and wishes to motivate herself and others, then there is absolutely no reason why she shouldn't step out of her comfort zone and do something she loves to do. My best friends are beauty queens throughout the United States and all of them come in various shapes and sizes. When someone is critical of others, it's usually when they are unhappy with their own situation and hoping for change.
    Thank you for posting this. It's so true!!

    Beverly Hartle
    Mrs. Idaho America 2012

    Published 12.24.13
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  165. BowsnBros wrote:

    I saw this on my newsfeed on Facebook. I loved reading this, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff!

    Published 12.24.13
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  166. I've been one of those girls on the runway, and now and on the other side, the heavy side, and I tell you, prejudice is no fun at any end of this spectrum, people tell you to eat a sandwich and immediately assume you are stupid if you are tall, skinny and beautiful, and they think you are an aberration and hide their kids from you from fear you'll eat them if you are heavy …. We are all women, and all humans!

    Tyler Lucille, I'm your newest fan

    Published 12.24.13
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  167. Jen Conrad wrote:

    Wow, every single one of these women that agreed with this article are also very thin… who'd have guessed that! How about you ask a heavy woman how she feels about the statements? While I agree with the overall point being said here, to not judge and ridicule each other but accept and support each other no matter what we look like, the main problem still stands. "Real women" do not look like models. These models are women, but most likely, the way their body and/or face looks is not in any way natural. Hence the "real" part. The amount of exercise, plastic surgery, make-up and airbrushing that is done to accomplish this look, is NOT "real." I think that's pretty obvious. And unless you are a V secret model with millions of dollars at your disposal and tons of people dedicated to working extremely hard to make you look this way, this look IS unattainable. I would never teach my children otherwise.

    Published 12.24.13
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  168. RiK wrote:

    Well said.. As a photographer I have a fair few friends who are models, and yes, most of them a slim and beautiful and I've heard some horrible comments aimed at them over the years, mostly by those women who *could* look great if they weren't lazy and lacking in self-discipline. There's an old saying that says "if someone is trying to put you down, it's only because they think you're above them". It's jealousy, plain and simple.

    (Found you via a link to your blog posted by a model friend on Facebook)

    Published 12.24.13
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  169. This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing! Not a reader before and I found this post via a friend sharing it on facebook!

    Published 12.24.13
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  170. I saw this blog posted on Facebook. I would like to thank you for sticking up for these women. I am not a small woman myself but am a designer who employs thinner women for my fashion shows. Most of these women work very hard to stay in this sort of shape. Why would we degrade them for being fit. I give them credit for having more self control than I and making themselves a priority.

    Published 12.24.13
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  171. Eleni wrote:

    I found your blog which was shared through a post on facebook. And yes, I agree that ALL women with a vagina are "women" regardless of if they have curves or not. All women are beautiful, regardless of their size. We need to be pushing that instead of "real women have curves!"

    Published 12.24.13
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  172. Squirt wrote:

    I get so tired of women asking me how I stay so thin, then getting pissed at me when I answer honestly, that I have slender genes. "Oh, you'll put on weight when you get older," they say. (I'm a very young looking 38.) they absolutely cannot Wait for me to get fat! Sometimes I lie and say that I workout, but I'm not much of a liar so it doesn't happen often. Thanks for this, I saw it in my twitter feed. 🙂

    Published 12.24.13
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  173. Found this via a link on Facebook.

    I'd say that your heart's in the right place – I agree with you that "comparison is the thief of joy" – but I think that you're operating from a false premise here. Cameron Russell tells us that she won a "genetic lottery" to become a supermodel, and it's basically true. No amount of hard work and sacrifice will make a person beautiful if they don't have the bone structure.

    However. They are not, ARE NOT genetically skinny. Adriana Lima, the Victoria's Secret "angel," has already publicly stated that she begins a weight loss regimen of a liquid diet and double workouts a month and a half before a show. Let us be clear on this, she is not even remotely an exception to the rule among models. Eating disorders are, across the board, the rule for models, not the exception. The "struggle" that killed sister supermodels Eliana and Luisel Ramos was the job they did for a living.

    This is an industry that picks up pretty young women at around ten or twelve and sculpts them physically and psychologically into the shapes it considers necessary for its purposes. The twenty-three inch waist is standard, whether your metabolism naturally produces one from a healthy and nutritionally complete diet or not.

    Published 12.24.13
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  174. I found your blog through facebook actually. Someone had posted it and it just spread 🙂
    I agree completely, power to you.

    Published 12.24.13
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  175. Jill wrote:

    I saw this shared on Facebook. Thank you! I have been talked about and guilted and hated on because of being thin. It is even worse, apparently, that I have 3 kids and still manage to be thin. A lot is genetics, but I also have been very active most of my life.

    Published 12.24.13
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  176. Care wrote:

    I want to thank you for writing this. I am naturally underweight and was terrorized for it in high school. People constantly accused me of being anorexic, would say I must weig 100 lbs soaking wet, called me Ethiopian, and so on. My self esteem just kept getting lower and lower. I would binge eat I. Attempt to gain weight but nothing ever worked. I was 5'4 and 80 lbs, which may sound unhealthy, but it was my natural healthy body weight. As I got older I finally started standing up for myself and when people would make comments like the soaking wet one, I would challenge them and ask if it was okay for me to say they must weight 300lbs totally dry. Some people would see my side but others would not. I still have people make comments about my weight (now 5'7 and 125lbs) probably on a weekly basis. Like someone else said, the grass is always greener on the other side. Women need to stop criticizing eachother and make an effort to be happy with themselves!

    Published 12.24.13
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  177. Care wrote:

    Also, found a link to your blog on Facebook.

    Published 12.24.13
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  178. One of my friends posted this on their facebook page and it's honestly the single best thing I've read all year. Thank you so much for finally clearing up all the bull shit surrounding this issue and for doing such a damn good job at it.

    Published 12.24.13
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  179. Mdbaker wrote:

    I agree with mostly with Tara Evelabd. Though, I'm not sure it's such a great job considering what those women go through. I completely agree genes are not what make the majority of these women. Plastic surgery, make up (lots of it), starving themselves, and even surgery to lengthen their legs. I think you can find a better soapbox to stand on.

    Published 12.24.13
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  180. Here is how the woman you used as the cover photo gets her genes:

    She sees a nutritionist, who has measured her body's muscle mass, fat ratio and levels of water retention. He prescribes protein shakes, vitamins and supplements to keep Lima's energy levels up during this training period. Lima drinks a gallon of water a day. For nine days before the show, she will drink only protein shakes – "no solids". The concoctions include powdered egg. Two days before the show, she will abstain from the daily gallon of water, and "just drink normally". Then, 12 hours before the show, she will stop drinking entirely.

    "No liquids at all so you dry out, sometimes you can lose up to eight pounds just from that," she says.

    "It's like they're training for a marathon," says Sophia Neophitou, the British fashion editor who is chief stylist for this year's show.

    "Adriana works really hard at it. It's the same as if you were a long-distance runner. They are athletes in this environment – it's harder to be a Victoria's Secret model because no one can just chuck an outfit on you, and hide your lumps and bumps."

    http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/news-features/TMG8872623/Victorias-Secret-show-What-does-it-take-to-be-a-Victorias-Secret-Angel.html

    "I just have an athlete's mind and I appreciate doing this thing," she told E! Online. "It's not that I do crazy diets throughout the year. I just do it for this particular thing. After this show, I become normal again!"

    Lima is particularly anxious to get the message out to impressionable young women that her diet is part of her job, but not a part of a normal healthy lifestyle.

    "Those teenagers out there, don't go starving yourself or only drinking liquids," she said. "Don't do that please."

    http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20544798,00.html

    Published 12.24.13
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  181. I LOVVEEE this post.
    first of all I am going to say that ''larger'' women have all of a sudden started this outcry about it not being fair, that only skinny women are represented. People forget that up until the 1980s, and the runways became popular, that being thin was not considered beautiful AT ALL. The Betty Paige, Marilyn Monroe ideal was what everyone wanted to be. If you look at pictures throughout history like paintings and such, being plump like a cherub was ALWAYS more liked than long and slender. So being a larger woman ALWAYS had the edge over being lean. I think things are actually more equal now, because women who are not in the category of ''classic beauty '' can have a niche now. Models in high fashion are usually girls who are ''strange, other-wordly'' type of girls. Very unique. Look at Lily Cole, Gemma Ward, Cintia Dicker.These girls are not ''classic beauty'', but now there is a subset of fashion that can show girls that it can be cool if you are different. If it wasn't for the fashion industry, I personally think our beauty ideals would be even tighter and more restricted than they already are. I find it odd that people think that trying to slide the scale away from thinner models is going to automatically make the modeling industry ''all- inclusive''. And most men gravitate towards the porn model types-more curvy and buxom.And Kim Kardashian and Beyonce. So I feel that collectively, as a whole, ''team average to large'' still has advantages over ''team 0-2''.

    Point number two is, all these people saying it is not really genetics need to go visit China, Vietnam, Thailand, Japan, Brazil, Singapore, Russia, Ukraine,Serbia, Poland, Moldova, Slovenia,Norway, etc. and see how ''not normal'' the slender body type is. The supermodel body type is waaay more common. The only countries that are whining aboutthose body types as being ''not real'' or ''genetically impossible'' are the USA, the UK, and Australia. Maybe if we started walking more,stopped using our cars do go a mile or two down the street, stop buying ''Big GRAB'' chips, and super ROUTE 44 sized colas, and stopped eating meat with tons of hormones in it(makes the chicken 3 times fatter in half the amount of time) , maybe more of us would not feel that being slender is such a stretch of imagination. The women in the above mentioned countries eat until they feel full, they prepare meals and home and eat with the family. There is no secret here. But while the USA, UK, and the like want to continue to make excuses for poor behavior and eating habits, the joke is really on us for not wanting to take responsibility for our lives, and for us not being able to tell reality(magazines and catwalks) from real life.

    Published 12.24.13
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  182. Oh and P.S- Stop hassling men for having preferences. Some men like smaller women, some like bigger women. Men get called shallow so quickly if they say they like a skinny woman, but if a man says in front of everyone ''oh I like big women'', watch all the smug smiles around the room. I have always been on the thin side, and I have had men tell me in front of their average size or larger girlfriends ''oohh no offense, but I like big women, they just do something for me'', and everyone around gets their ego stroked at my expense. I have seen this happen to other smaller women too. Ladies stop this war on one another just because YOU feel lacking in some way. I feel like the whole ''real women have curves'' none sense is just a way for some women to secretly attack other women. They know that being ''larger'' is a way to create a bubble of victimhood from which they can attack, but a skinnier person can't really say anything back because then it is ''fat shaming'' As a skinnier person, I could care less what size someone else is, and nor do I think I am better than some other girl. Do I think it is right to be mean to larger sized women? No. Do I think larger women are attractive? Yes I do. But I am telling you, next time someone wants to fluff up some chick's ego(that wears a bigger size than me) at my expense, I am not going to let it slide.

    Published 12.24.13
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  183. Jenn wrote:

    My husband forwarded your link to me. Thank you SO much. As someone who weighs about 100 lbs, I can't tell you how insulting it is for someone to call me "sick." My entire family is thin. We're not sick. We're made this way. I don't comment on peoples' weight, so it astounds me that they feel comfortable insulting mine. It's twisted. By the same token, people have made insulting comments about my friends' varying weights, women of every shape & size. If I'm too thin, but they are too big, and others are just too average, it simply proves nothing is good enough & some people have to tear down others no matter what. And why women would participate in tearing other women down is beyond me and is the bigger, real concern. It benefits no one.

    Published 12.24.13
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  184. I've never thought about this issue in this way and it makes SO MUCH SENSE. Even if they are sick (which, if you pay close attention to their bodies, they are actually very muscular), it is not okay to bash them for it. I liked the analogy you used about a skinny person calling an "average" looking woman a fat ass. This reminds me a lot of the slut-shaming that is also going on right now. I found this post on facebook. Good job!

    Published 12.24.13
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  185. ALX MERINO wrote:

    So first of all I'm a guy and I read this out of curiosity. My girlfriend is naturally thin. No matter how much she she still doesn't gain weight. Anyways, one day she read a post how girls with thigh gaps (She has one) only get them because they "Starve" themselves to get. The article completely ignored the fact that thigh gaps can be a result of big hips (which she has). After reading that article and reading some of the comments people had posted, she felt upset. I personally found the article to be the greatest example of ignorance because it so pointless and was nothing more than an attack on thin women with thigh gaps.

    I can honestly say that I'm glad I read your article. I'm glad this article wasn't an attack on women for the way they look. It was a great read and I'll be sure to send the link to this article to my girlfriend so she can she that there are woman who understand that not all woman look the same.

    Published 12.24.13
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  186. This couldn't be more true!
    However, it is also important to consider that many times what we see on the media is highly manipulated, ergo, not real. So, it is important for kids to know from a young age that people come in all shapes and sizes, but they also need to be aware of the dangers of Photoshop manipulation.

    Published 12.25.13
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  187. This is great! I feel so self conscious now a days cuz it's all about having an ass these days. I don't feel pretty because I don't have an hour glass figure. .. I'm more like a 2 x 4 with big boobs lol. Thank you for standing up for the skinny girls who eat LOTS of sandwiches. .. But can't gain any weight!

    My friend re posted this on Facebook and I saw it.

    Published 12.25.13
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  188. I agree with everything except for what makes you a "real" woman in the opening sentences. You're only a real woman if you have ovaries, a cervix, Fallopian tubes, etc. point blank. I don't care what anyone has to say based on that. You can throw little educated statistics and facts at me all day and I'm just going to give zero fucks accompanied with a blank face. I love equality and people taking a stand for their identity but as far as any non-woman being, claiming the female sex, if you do not bleed every month nor were born with the ovary organs, you are not a woman point blank. Cosmetically you may appear as a woman (face, boobs, vagina…), estrogen shots, wardrobe, etc. but unless you have those, there's nothing valid you can say that will change the fact that you're not a woman.

    Published 12.25.13
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  189. *Trisha* wrote:

    A friend posted this blog-post on fb, I clicked it and ended up here.(:

    Published 12.25.13
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  190. Agree with you perspective. Sara Sampiano's twitter.

    Published 12.25.13
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  191. Donna Dull wrote:

    This. A million times this. I'm a big girl and I have resigned myself to this. Between a bad case of hypothyroidism and a strong German bone structure, this is just how I am built. That doesn't make the way others are built wrong. As an author I decided to explore the topic and discovered it's really hard for me to relate to someone on the opposite end of the spectrum. But once I started to get comfortable there, I realized things were just as messed up if not more so. It's wrong that society as a whole has labeled one body type desirable and the other disgusting, when all should be made to feel beautiful. Stop seeing people's size and you just might discover an amazing person. Sizism (if it's not a word, it should) is as bad as any other form of generalization.

    Oh, and I found a link to the blog on Facebook.

    Published 12.25.13
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  192. Found out about this blog entry from a link shared on Facebook by the current World Bantamweight Champion of (the all-women's mixed martial arts organization) Invicta Fighting Championships, Lauren Murphy. Haven't heard THAT today I'll bet, have you?Look her up. You & Mrs. Murphy are both great ambassadors for women everywhere. 🙂

    Published 12.25.13
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  193. Thank you so much for posting this!! I couldn't agree more. Found you from a Facebook post.

    Published 12.25.13
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  194. Unknown wrote:

    Lots of great opinions! I respect yoru veiw of lots of different types of women…. But if your going to use a sexy curvy women like Christina Hendrix…. Why wouldn't you put a photo of her all dolled up!? The VS model has done a couple weeks of getting ready for the show plus 2-3 hours in hair an makeup! The pick of Christina looks like she got cought by pop on a Tuesday morning trying to get some coffee?
    If your going to do real comparisons… Let's do em right? Maybe a fab xtine pic? Or a no makup no glam team pic of vs?
    I love your passion non the less 🙂

    Published 12.25.13
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  195. Probably the only guy in the world that wasn't watching the show last night. (Talk about a can of worms, just bring up that conversation at a party.) Either way, I don't get the point in someones looks. Because, what really matters is someone that you desire to be with. Well, they should have some interests and long term goals. If they don't, then you and they should sit down and talk about it. What do they want out of life. What are you looking for in a relationship? In 20 years, do you think you are going to want what you want now? Is this person going to help you build a family, and support them? Or are you just in "Another Relationship"?

    With that being said. After reading this article and seeing some of the pictures of the women showing off some designer clothes. I see nothing wrong with that, and I am sure they were all indeed beautiful. I would love to sit down and have a chat with several of them I am sure. The biggest thing there would be to me who they really are, and what got them to where they are today? I mean think about the stories they would have.

    Either way, the view of women in this world is utterly disgusting. Its to much money loss for someone out there. I mean imagine if women were taught to take care of who they are instead of taking care of what they look like… Think of how insane the world would be come. How much would it change?

    Published 12.25.13
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  196. Hello, (found you because it was posted on FB, and it's a discussion worth having).

    I wanted to thank you for this. I'm obviously not a woman, but This is something I've been trying to talk to people about for years. It's harsh and cruel to accuse anyone who succeeds as being abnormal. My personal preferred bodytype is Athletic. But when I post images of my celebrity crush (Aimee Mullins) People said that my tastes where unrealistic and that she was a "waife". However, Aimee Mullins is an athlete. And works very hard at building the body she wants. One that is capable. And I think it looks gorgeous. But why is it wrong to congratulate those who strive for good looks and get them? If I spent 3 hours a day in the gym working on my body, I should expect a good body. When I spend 3 hours a day on a couch, I should expect the opposite. But rather than accusing those who work at their form of having a bad one, we should celebrate accomplishment. Or… appreciate couch form, if you prefer… but not demonize anyone for trying at something and succeeding.

    This is also a problem in men's weightlifting. I do not succeed at building the body I want. My exercise time is limited… So I have muscles, and a bit of a belly. However, when I show people pictures of the body I want, they often tell me it's unrealistic or worse, unhealthy. But it isn't. I'm simply not working hard enough to get to my goals, and the men who DO get them, are working hard to get them… It's hard work, and I wouldn't pay for an album of untrained musicians… just like I wouldn't pay for a model with an untrained body. I wouldn't pay an untrained plumber. I wouldn't want to watch untrained athletes. Effort is something that should be praised… though lack of effort shouldn't be looked down on either. We're all short of our goals. But we all have different goals, too.

    Published 12.25.13
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  197. While I think that you have a perfectly valid point here in a majority of the article, I do have an issue with this type of statement:

    "If you're a woman who thinks it's okay to tell a skinny woman that she needs to eat a sandwich, I hope you don't mind when that skinny woman tells you that you're a fat ass. Because that's exactly the sort of shaming you're giving her."

    No, of course it's not at all okay to shame – but what is the point of reciprocal shaming? Does that make ANY person in this scenario feel better, or good even? And isn't that the fundamental issue? Either way it's bullying and it's not something that should be advocated.

    I think with statements such as the quoted one above, it refutes the rest of the article and the biggest point about what types of character we should be instilling in young girls (and women for that matter).

    Women need to remove the words from their vocabulary that put down other women. We should be making changes in ourselves as opposed to insisting upon placing personal input and agendas about other people's images on each other.

    Published 12.25.13
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  198. Michael wrote:

    I agree with this article 80%.

    My 2 qualms with the article:
    – It makes no mention of eating healthy or perpetuating healthy eating habits. At the end of the day, regardless of genetic makeup, you are responsible for what you put in your body. Whether you eat quinoa or a corn dog is not genetic. It is a conscious choice.
    – I always find it interesting how people consider this only a women's issue. It exists for both sexes. I do agree that it is much more publicized to be for women because it is so much more prevalent and noticeable given the constant blatant sexualization of women. However, at some point it does need to be recognized for men too. Women and men are equally critical of each other and anyone who says that is untrue is deluding themselves. At the end of the day, you see someone's appearance way before their personality.

    Published 12.25.13
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  199. Just to let you know that I'm a new reader, and I just found this cause one of those Victoria's Secret Models shared this on her personal facebook page.
    #greattextbtw

    Published 12.25.13
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  200. Hello, I watched the show and was a little disappointed and angry that every model had the exact same body shape. Tyler, you wrote, "Women are not alike. Women aren't supposed to look alike." But if you look at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, you wouldn't know that. You would think that all women are supposed to be under 110 pounds, tall, and skinny. I think Victoria's Secret is doing a detriment to themselves AND women by only featuring a single body type. There are many women watching their show that are not that body type, and may be more inclined to shop there if they saw a model on their runway that had at least a little bit of curves and not a size 00! I also do not like the idea of a certain body type 'being in style'.

    Published 12.25.13
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  201. I agree with you….BUT if you would really like to make a change….if you r in charge of VS fashion show, why don't you add other types of women to model? Why all skinny? If you show to everyone that VS is not just about skinny girls but curvy girls too, the story would be different. I think it's possible and it would prove all types of women can look confident and beautiful!

    Published 12.25.13
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  202. Amy wrote:

    Thank you for the intelligent posting. I'm a "curvy" girl. I have friends who are thinner than me, heavier than me, and everywhere in between. And every one of us is a real woman!

    FYI – I found your article when a friend posted it on FB. Congrats on going viral. 🙂

    Published 12.25.13
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  203. Alex wrote:

    I did not get a chance to watch to watch the VS fashion show when it aired but watched it a few hours ago.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with being fat, or skinny or whatever you are. And the people who feel the need to say things like "eat a sandwich. Disgusting, Clearly sick and etc" they are the ones who need to seek out help. The women who get on that catwalk are proud of who they are and proud of the way they look. They worked hard to look the way they do, jealousy takes many forms and as many will not admit to it they really are.

    I am an American born Chinese. Grew up in South Florida, meaning I have the usual tan year round. I am not as "white" or light skinned as all the usual Asians you see on TV but this is MY normal. I stand at 5 feet 6 inches tall and weigh 95lbs. If you feel the need to comment and tell me I need to eat more then you need to use your browser and do your research. Not everyone can get fat easily. So stop all of this nonsense of fat shaming and I guess "skinny" shaming. There are better things for you to do.

    P.s. I found your blog on FB, it is being shared a lot and circulating 🙂

    Published 12.25.13
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  204. Thank you for posting this. Just last night I was getting remarks about how I am "too thin" etc…. and I ended up having a slight breakdown, crying to my boyfriend about it as I felt that I couldn't ever get it right to avoid having these comments made. So reading this was such an encouragement! I'm not a regular here, but found your post through a Facebook friend: Ismael Prata. 🙂

    Published 12.25.13
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  205. New Reader,found this through a photographer sharing it in a models group. I'm a skinny ass model & I have to eat constantly cause i just loose weight otherwise.
    I actually had a comment made about me before (only one that stuck) that I was too skinny to be sexy. & that was meant to be fine,smile & say nothin. But if I'd said she was to fat to be sexy woulda been a much different story!
    Women should be allowed to be women & not shamed for being skinny or putting effort into how they look (another rant) Feminism is about women being strong & accepted as a female,whatever way she's strucktored.

    Published 12.25.13
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  206. I found you because someone shared this on fb!

    Published 12.26.13
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  207. Hey! I just wanted to say that I totally agree with your post and admire your blunt truths that you wrote! I am a strong believer that the biggest change starts when we start with ourselves and from there it can spread. I also agree that it is no ones place ever to be putting down others for how they look! Why does it matter! When you remember anyone, I bet its always those people that made an impact in your life whether it be through the experiences you shared, the laughter you exchanged, or the conversation that was had. People can be so amazing and uniquely wonderful and to miss that is so tragic! Especially to miss it because your focused on things that will absolutely fade… LOOKS! Anyways.. thanks for your post! Its awesome!

    Published 12.26.13
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  208. Christie wrote:

    Although I agree with most of what you're saying, I lost so much respect when you said it was okay for a skinny person to retort with "get on a treadmill" or something like that. Shouldn't you be trying to make the point that all body types are okay and ALL types of body-shaming are unacceptable? I'm overweight, but I've never once in my life told anyone to eat a sandwich or anything of the sort (except for a friend of mine who I knew had an eating disorder, which was of course NOT about shaming). Discrimination and body-shaming is always wrong. Whatever your race, whatever your gender, whatever your financial status, whatever your body type, you are a person and do not deserve to be insulted. Fighting discrimination with discrimination doesn't work, and will just breed resentment from both sides. Thanks.

    By the way, I saw this on facebook.

    Published 12.26.13
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  209. Devora wrote:

    I'm not a usual follower. Someone posted your link on FB.

    Published 12.26.13
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  210. Erin Lang wrote:

    New reader, friend shared on Facebook.

    LOVE because im one of those size 6 skinny women with ok sized boobies and get told i need to put on weight all the time.

    so thankyou for posting!

    Published 12.26.13
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  211. I never read your blog before, but I totally agree on your article!

    But here is one of my favorite quotes on this topic:

    "We could be getting angry about unequal pay and unequal opportunities, but we're too busy being told we're not thin enough or curvy enough. We're holding ourselves back."

    have a look at this article of mine if you're interested:
    http://inkormilk.blogspot.com/2012/04/warning-excessive-viewing-of.html

    have a nice day!x

    Published 12.26.13
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  212. I am not a usual reader. One of my friends "liked" this on Facebook. I was intrigued by the title so I decided to read it. Totally agree. Great rant lol.

    Published 12.26.13
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  213. Sammie Lee wrote:

    Found this post via facebook.
    Have to say, this blog kinda ticks me off. Firstly, there is skinny,healthy, curvy and then there is massively big or skinniness so wrong that ribs are seen. Yes, most of the time the woman can't help being her size, but then there are others who look like this on purpose! Showcasing a woman that looks like she eats nothing is NOT a role model! The word 'standard' or 'normal' should be removed from descriptions of people.
    Secondly, there are women that can't help their figure as I mentioned above. There are women like me that are a size 12/14 that are slightly larger due to genes. My mother and father are both largish people, and I inherited their body structure. So I could lose a little weight, but due to the way my body was made, it's impossible to lose the amount I want. So I learn that outside beauty might not be changeable, but inner beauty is. You could be a goddess personified, but be an absolute cow on the inside. Not appealing at all.

    And lastly, just because someone has misjudged someone for their skinniness, DOES NOT mean they have the right to be rude and vicious in return. And encouraging that is just stupidity. Don't get me wrong, skinny women should not have to be insulted, but being cruel in return when the larger woman has innocently misread that woman is just mean. A large woman has been taunted all her life for not being 'perfect' and yet skinny women are outraged that people don't like models their size. Am I the only one confused?

    Published 12.26.13
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  214. Wow..I love this! People have always called me names, because I'm skinny. I felt different and less than others….but when I read this I got more confident…and you're absolutely fuckin right! Respect! X

    (How I found you: my cousine shared this blog on facebook;))

    Love,
    Chiara♥

    Published 12.26.13
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  215. Ray Sparks wrote:

    I too am glad to see this, But may I add that we should also include the removal of the phrase " IF HE DON'T/DOES THIS OR THAT HE AIN'T A REAL MAN "
    A Guy can be the greatest looking in the world, but be a total A$$hole, or be so called ( plain as a rock ) and be the best person you have ever met. The same holds true for women. What a person looks like is not an indicator of their character.

    Published 12.26.13
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  216. I agree that people should just be more excepting of other people…yes….but I think the reason "pick" on the thin is because they are purposely making themselves look like that for a paycheck or for a job. We are trying to teach kids that nothing is worth your health and that most those girls are miserable. If you don't believe me ask them. More than not they will complain how they are ALWAYS hungry and I bet they aren't happy and have very low self esteem. We are at a time where society is changing it's views on what is beautiful and what isn't and the world has advanced to what the "norm" looks like, which is a not like a super model. I believe that we have come a long way and have faced reality and not only excepted that most of us are plump but what is most beautiful is what's on the inside of a person not on the outside.
    I found your article because Rachael lust (an awesome hula hoop performer) liked your page. 🙂

    Published 12.26.13
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  217. I saw this in a post from Knowledge is Power on facebook. I agree with you totally, a woman is a woman period

    Published 12.26.13
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  218. K Watson wrote:

    I love reading articles like this. My sister and I started a clothing store called Independence Clothing (www.independenceclo.com) because we were tired of people comparing their bodies to others, making passive aggressive comments about others, being jealous, feeling validated if they lost weight, etc. You hit the nail on the head with "comparison is the thief of joy." We should all appreciate our bodies and treat them right, without feeling the need to put others down or compare, no matter what size, which is the central message of our store.

    (a friend posted this on Facebook)

    Published 12.26.13
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  219. This is so true. I'm 5'8" as a size 16-18 and completely comfortable in my skin. Additionally, I do often get unsolicited weight loss advice. In my adult life I've been a size 12 and a size 28. Clearly I know a thing or two about weight gain and weight loss. I'm a wife, mother, therapist, and so many other things. The number on the scale doesn't define me. A dear friend of mine is 5'8" and her size 2 business suits drown her. I think she gets more unsolicited "eat a sandwich" types of comments than I've ever gotten about losing weight. She is a wife, mother, and successful attorney who has a healthy body image despite what people have been saying about her since we were in jr high.
    As a mother of 3 daughters and 2 sons, I'm doing my best to raise my daughters to be strong women with self worth, and I'm trying to raise sons who know how to treat a woman…ANY woman. I LOVED your rant! (A friend had posted this article on Facebook).

    Published 12.26.13
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  220. I'm a new reader, and the way I got here is because people are tweeting this link left and right!!

    Published 12.26.13
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  221. dana wrote:

    Thank you thank you THANK YOU. Very well-put.

    Found you through a link in a Facebook friend's post, by the way!

    Published 12.26.13
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  222. Reddit likes you. That's where I got the link from. you addressed the major points that a lot of people on reddit (on the specific subreddit that I found this on; there are some terrible people on reddit too) believe in. However, as a lot of reddit is male, if any of us were to say these things, we'd likely be called misogynistic fat-shamers who just want to tell women how they should look. And if thin women were to say this they'd just be called fat-shaming shitlords. So thanks for looking at this in such an objective way ^_^

    Published 12.26.13
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  223. Here is my thing. As someone who has been on both ends of the scale, I think we as a society needs to teach our girls that there is only one you and there is no comparison. But, on a side note. I think that for fashion shows, because so many people do compare and you want to see someone your size in that particular outfit they should use models of all sizes. Just to give people an idea of how beautiful women are in all sizes!! This is just my opinion. I was once 98lbs and I was actually sick. It took me about 3yrs to get my weight back, then other health issues made me gain weight and I'm now 2 babies and pushing 200lbs. My self esteem issues are pretty much shot and it would help to see other women like me in skimpy things, just to see who beautiful I possibly could be. These women are no doubt beautiful and they are real women. They are women who have personal trainers and the means to look this fantastic all the time. I don't hate on them for that. I say you go girl. You do what you can do and I will do what I can do. I'm no super model and I'm ok with that.

    Published 12.26.13
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  224. ffulkerth wrote:

    So… real women are shaped like boxes? Please… even a large woman has curves. Looks like there are a lot of jealous women reading this article.

    If you took offence to something like this airing on TV, you obviously are unhappy with your body in it's current "shape" (ha) – go do some yoga, ride a bike, do something other then complaining about your unhappiness on the internet (which btw isnt helping your situation any)

    Another option would be for YOU to start your own line of "unhappy clothes, nightware" etc.. then YOU can put a show on during the holidays and pick your own models to suit whatever need you have.

    Also… no one forces ANYONE to watch this sort of stuff. If you watched it, had negative feels about it, then its your own dam fault.

    Stop complaining. Enjoy life, and dont let shit like this bother you.

    Published 12.26.13
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  225. Excellent read! A friend shared this on Facebook! I shared too!

    Published 12.26.13
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  226. Mao Loss wrote:

    found this on facebook shared by a friend.
    you are totally and utterly right !!!!!!

    Published 12.26.13
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  227. Okay after reading this I'm going to agree with you on most of this especially the part where you say something about the fat woman tells the skinny woman to eat a sandwich..but if the skinny woman tells that fat woman she's a fat ass then it should be okay! That I agree on I've lost a lot of weight not too long ago and people definetly view me differently now in good ways but sadly in mainly bad ways. Jealousy just rears it's ugly head and it's unfortunate. I got here cause I exercised and changed my diet, and I'm proud of that! However, you talk about how all woman should considered "real women" but read how you referred to the VS models and tell me how there is no difference? They are up there I mean their fashion models for god sakes but you have to think about what they have to give up day in and day out to still keep that job! Other then that good blog!

    Published 12.26.13
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  228. tericee wrote:

    Since you asked: I saw your post in my Facebook newsfeed. Then I tweeted it.

    Published 12.27.13
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  229. damn, ty. this is impressive. i'm proud of you for this success. (and well, jealous, too, admittedly, because you've got almost as many comments in this one post as i have followers. which i know doesn't mean much… but… still).

    i REALLY am proud of you, though. nice work. :]

    Published 12.27.13
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  230. also, i spent the first two decades of my life being accused of being anorexic. by SO many people. and i ATE. ALL THE TIME. but i also SWAM. ALL THE TIME.

    so it's not just about the curves… it's more about how you treat them.

    Published 12.27.13
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  231. I found this on facebook.. what an amazing article!

    LOVE IT!

    Published 12.27.13
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  232. Have another glass of wine. Tell Hollywood and the Fashion world to stop making bigger girls feel terrible about themselves. The photo you used as an sample is laughable. The modeling world is vicious and abusive. Pressured to remain thin until they age and are tossed away like trash. Get well soon

    Published 12.27.13
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  233. Shannon wrote:

    Hey Tyler! I appreciate your goal, but I don't fully agree with all your points. I completely understand the message you're trying to send, but I feel that the way you have worded your views has attempted to set curvier women and smaller women against each other. The point of the "real women have curves" movement is purely to gain acceptance into society for larger women who have been stigmatized for their size for most of their lives. You have given the movement ill intent that truly isn't there. I personally have never seen parents or other women teaching children that looking one way or another is "better" and have certainly never seen anyone tell children that being skinny or thin is "bad" and/or that being curvier is "better." I really truly believe that your base message saying that all women should be accepted no matter what size they are is a great one, but the way you have gone about saying it has put women against each other, when really we should only aim to support one another. I understand that there have been women who experience bullying or rude/hurtful comments because of their naturally thin frame, and I believe that this is wrong and can be equally as hurtful as fat comments made to larger women. However, in my experience there has been no ill intent coming from the majority of "larger" women towards women who are naturally thin, although there are some women in both "groups" that judge others who are different than them. Also, there is certainly no ill intent coming from leaders & supporters of the "real women have curves" movement. I promise you, woman to woman, that the only intent of that movement is to allow women who are frequently bullied, discriminated against, and made fun of for their size, whatever that may be, because of the societal belief that thinner is better, to finally be fully accepted into society and be able to be completely comfortable with who they are. I believe that thin women deserve that same right, and I do not believe any "look" is superior to another. I truly agree with your base message, but I am concerned that the way you have gone about wording it has undermined much of the progress that the "real women have curves" movement has tried to accomplish, and makes it seem as if curvier women condemn thin women for the way they look, which I personally disagree with completely. I agree with your statement that it is rude and hurtful to say comments such as "eat a sandwich" and ones similar to that. I also agree that thin women have the right to defend themselves because they are most definitely "real women" too. However, I do not feel that it is mainly curvy women who are saying these hurtful comments, and do not want others to believe that curvy women are overtly prejudice towards thin women. I believe that many times these things are being said by ignorant men, towards both thin and larger women. I really hope that eventually women will not resort to putting down those different than themselves as a way to make themselves feel better. I am not saying that you support or encourage that kind of behavior whatsoever, and truly appreciate your view and belief that all women should be accepted equally. I do worry that you may believe that "curvier/larger" women judge thin women for the way they look, and although you may have experience with one woman or a few women who actually do that, it's my opinion that it is not the majority view. I do not think you intended to set women against each other, but I do wish that maybe you had sought out the perspectives of women of all different body types before criticizing a movement meant to gain acceptance for all shapes and sizes, and is in essence promoting the same message as you. By the way, I found your article after my Facebook friend posted it as her status.

    Published 12.27.13
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  234. Rjay wrote:

    Being a mere male, I have to wonder if you are aware of the incredible positive effect this wonderful post will have on the beautiful, all, ladies on this planet . Thank you !!
    A friend on FB posted a link to your blog xx

    Published 12.27.13
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  235. I mostly agree… but we also have to consider that entertainment is an industry where women are often FORCED to lose weight or maintain underweight frames by extreme diet and exercise just to get or hold jobs. If these women are naturally this skinny, awesome for them. But if they DO in fact need to starve themselves to stay like this – then shame on the industry (and the cosumers, etc.)

    New reader – found you because you're going viral on FB!
    Check out my blog: http://LilFamily.com

    Published 12.27.13
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  236. I love this article!! I was very skinny in HS and gained weight in my 20s. In my mid 30s lost 40 pounds. I'm tryimg to stay away from tje scale because its jist a number. Instead I'm trying to focusm on hpw my clotjes fit and how I feel aboit myself. I round this article on a friends facebook page who also happens to be my coach.

    Published 12.27.13
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  237. I love this article!! I was very skinny in HS and gained weight in my 20s. In my mid 30s lost 40 pounds. I'm tryimg to stay away from tje scale because its jist a number. Instead I'm trying to focusm on hpw my clotjes fit and how I feel aboit myself. I round this article on a friends facebook page who also happens to be my coach.

    Published 12.27.13
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  238. I love this article!! I was very skinny in HS and gained weight in my 20s. In my mid 30s lost 40 pounds. I'm tryimg to stay away from tje scale because its jist a number. Instead I'm trying to focusm on hpw my clotjes fit and how I feel aboit myself. I round this article on a friends facebook page who also happens to be my coach.

    Published 12.27.13
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  239. Word. 2 Thumbs up! I know what you mean!!

    Published 12.27.13
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  240. Julia wrote:

    Well said. THANK YOU so much for this post. This is my exact rant I make to my friends all of the time and you've written it out very well. I'm sharing this post.

    I found this post from someone sharing it on Facebook 🙂

    -Julia
    http://cupoftea-style.blogspot.com

    Published 12.27.13
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  241. Not sure if this has been mentioned, sorry I didn't read all the comments. But you're getting some traffic from the sub /r/fatlogic on reddit

    Published 12.27.13
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  242. I just wanted to say you're spot on with this. Very nicely put. I feel like skinny shouldn't be but down any more than others. It's who you are embrace it.

    My friend shared the kink in fb that's how I found you. 🙂

    Published 12.27.13
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  243. I just wanted to say you're spot on with this. Very nicely put. I feel like skinny shouldn't be but down any more than others. It's who you are embrace it.

    My friend shared the kink in fb that's how I found you. 🙂

    Published 12.27.13
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  244. Mon wrote:

    I found your post thru a FB acquaintance… I've also been guilty of skinny shaming at times, then I feel like a terrible person BC I'm just upset that I haven't worked harder on my own body. I hate that so many girls are insecure, whether it be due to being made fun of, teased, overweight, underweight, lazy, or whatever reason. All of us just need to appreciate each other and set good examples for kids. Maybe we can still change the world and people's judgements of others. All women are different and special. Thanks for your post.

    Published 12.27.13
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  245. Amazing article! It'd be good if the title reflected the subject matter rather than seeming like another ordinary article complaining about the plight of larger women. Fortunately, it looks like it's really resonating anyway!

    Published 12.27.13
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  246. I hate how everything is related to body type. Not everyone is the same. I have plenty of skinny friends and I have seen then wolf down some food. Just because your small doesn't mean you don't eat; just because I'm bigger doesn't mean all I do IS eat. People just need to worry about themselves. Be happy and healthy.

    Published 12.27.13
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  247. I found you on facebook through 2 different fitness pages I follow… And I completely agree 100% with your entire post :)♥ you go girl! ♥

    Published 12.27.13
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  248. "If you're a woman who thinks it's okay to tell a skinny woman that she needs to eat a sandwich, I hope you don't mind when that skinny woman tells you that you're a fat ass. Because that's exactly the sort of shaming you're giving her" This was the best part of this article. I got bullied (and still do) for being "too thin" and "don't you ever eat" or "You should eat more" Like…. so can I say "You should eat less?" Like honestly. TOO many people say it's not the same thing…BUT IT IS. My genes, my metabolism and my hyperthyroidism ALL MAKE it so I'm a thin person. Anyone who knows me KNOWS I eat a TON. Everyone is different. I'm also sick of those blogs and pictures trying to suggest that because I was BORN thin that I'm NOT a REAL woman! Like you said it's BS! Thanks for posting this!

    Published 12.27.13
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  249. shannon wrote:

    this is just one of the reasons i love you so hard. you are SO incredibly well-spoken (well-written?) and really for real you're are for sure one of the smartest people i don't actually know.

    Published 12.27.13
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  250. Naturally skinny is okay. Naturally curvy is okay.

    But starving yourself so that you can emulate a body type that is not healthy for yourself, is NOT okay.

    Published 12.27.13
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  251. AmieLou wrote:

    Found this via a Facebook link. I love what you have to say. But the comments are killing me as so many basically say "of course body shaming is wrong but skinny women kind of sort of have it coming and shouldn't really be bothered by it". That is so very wrong. And the problem with thin-shaming is that it is deemed acceptable. When I was bullied in elementary school for being too thin, my parents and I were told by school officials that nothing could be done since the girls doing it were overweight and no one wanted them to feel bad about themselves. A teacher actually told me to get used to it and that "tape worm" was a very clever nickname, after all. When I was relentlessly harassed in the workplace by an overweight colleague (accused of an eating disorder, had my lunch stolen repeatedly, and called a "f*cking bag of bones" in front of our high school students), HR and admins told me that if they approached her about the problem it would "hurt her feelings" and I should "smile and get over it". Imagine, however, if I had said one word to this woman about her weight? The backlash against thin as a standard of beauty has led us to a place where we consider the abuse and shaming of thin women (including the really denigrating implication that we are "fake" or not female enough which is implied in the "real women have curves" stupidity) to be tacitly okay. It is not.

    Published 12.27.13
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  252. I'm completely against discrimination for any reason on all races/orientations ect ect. That being said, if you got your penis turned inside out by a doctor you're most certainly not a "real woman" … you're a mutilated man. The same goes for women that get that weird little thumb penis sewed onto them. You're not a different gender, you're just mutilated.

    Published 12.27.13
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  253. I absolutely agree with this. My friends have always got on my case about my weight, talking about how I'm too skinny, just because I look it and my bmi is borderline underweight.
    Not too skinny at all.
    I've had people tell me to eat a god****ed sandwich so many times, and people joke about how small I am, how they could break me in half…
    It's disquieting, to say the least. And I know no one would say the same if someone was overweight. But because I'm small, I must have no issues with self conscious, and must put up with it.
    Thank you for putting what I feel into words.
    I found this when a friend linked it on facebook.

    Published 12.27.13
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  254. Great article, I'm only starting to hear about the skinny shaming epidemic but I think it's important for everyone to be accepted regardless of race, gender, size, etc. A friend of mine posted this on facebook so that's how I found it.

    Published 12.28.13
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  255. Unknown wrote:

    Although I agree with the basis of your argument, that real women come in many shapes an sizes… I am going to have to disagree that runway models are "real women". Yes they are individual unique women, and yes they are real, but you are missing the point. These models represent an unreal image of women. While they may have beautiful faces, their bodies are mostly unhealthy bodies from having various eating disorders. It is not just a stereotype, some people are naturally thin granted, but do not kid yourselves… models die trying to maintain this unrealistic image.

    When people say "real women have curves", they mean women have realistic body types, and a low maintenance beauty. These models are fake from head to toe. Fake lashes, fake hair, fake tans, fake boobs, fake lips, fake cheeks, butts… it is all fake showbiz beauty, not natural "real" beauty.

    Take off their makeup and they look tired, which is why they wear huge gaudy sunglasses everywhere when they are not all dolled up.

    Some of the models are beautiful, but as a whole they are underweight and 50% plastic/silicone.

    Published 12.28.13
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  256. l wrote:

    Just here to answer your question- your article popped up on my Facebook feed 🙂

    Published 12.28.13
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  257. therevkjc wrote:

    I'm new reader, just saw this posted on Facebook. As a woman in a fairly public and male dominated profession (a pastor), I appreciate how you address the images of a woman. We aren't all the same, but, I believe, we are each fearfully and wonderfully created in the image of God. My high schoolers are gonna love the lesson that comes from this.

    Published 12.28.13
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  258. Joe Bricky wrote:

    As a real man, (I know this because based on the authors definition of a woman, my lack of vagina and male parts lets me state this as fact), I can plainly say that we all have different tastes in women. Some guys like larger women and some guys like shorter, skinnier or tall/skinny women.

    It's a personal choice. Why the modeling industry chooses to focus on tall/skinny women for their models does make sense to a lot of men. A large percentage of men (IMO) like long legs. I think most of us like proportioned women. I like thinner women who have muscle tone more than skinny/tall women. But, I know a lot of guys who like big butts (and they cannot lie). I don't.

    So, I applaud the author for speaking up and saying something that will assuredly get the Feminazi's going. But, she has a great point and said it quite well.

    This country spends way, way too much time trying to please everyone all the time. It's crazy. The political correctness is sickening. So, here's my final thought on women and sizes.

    If you're healthy and you are still attractive to a man you find attractive, your size doesn't matter. However, if you're wearing some extra pounds, and you want that fit, fine man that isn't paying attention to you, you might want to lose some weight and start exercising. Don't hate the skinny girl… fix yourself.

    We don't always get what we want, but being fat and hating isn't the answer. Blaming the media for putting skinny girls on TV and in magazines may shape culture, but your parents are the authority on your upbringing. If you're an adult and you have an IQ above 80… do the math. Improve yourself, stop blaming and your chances of landing that mate you're looking for will be much better.

    Good Luck.

    Published 12.28.13
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  259. I had a facebook friend share this and & appeared in my newsfeed. Very, very interesting & well-thought out topic. I felt like adding my two-cents, extending on the point made in your conclusion:

    Weight and looks by themselves are NOT issues, weight & looks have become issues because money-grubbers like Karl Lagerfeld & Rupert Murdoch want to sell clothes & magazines & monetize the inherent human need to strive. They turned our insecurities into a market mechanism, which is just disgusting. Rather than using THEIR business-savvy to make us strive to be better, they chose to make us strive for a shitty keeping-up-with-the-joneses mentality. I want a 'real women have more shit to care about than the size of their ass, fuck off everyone who disagrees' campaign.

    Published 12.28.13
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  260. Kgal234 wrote:

    I agree with this article except for the part "Even if you identify as a women, you are a real women" Uhm…no…no you aren't. If you don't know what it's like to bleed from your vagina once a month, have terrible cramps, bloating, fatigue, and are physically impossible to bare a child (not including infertile women) then no, you are not a real women.

    I feel very uncomfortable when transponders are in the women's restroom…I like to walk up to them and ask if I can borrow a tampon…oh you have no need for one? GET OUT.

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  261. I found your page from a link on fb. A friend posted it!
    I'm so very glad I read this because the "geez, that girl needs to eat something!", NEVER occurred to me as shaming a thin woman. I really appreciate this article for opening my eyes to that. I was thin most of my life until a car accident, back surgery, & chronic pain meds, led to gaining 100 lbs! 140 to 240 in a year & a half! I guess the deal w/shaming skinny women most likely comes from jealousy but now I get it…we ARE all women! And like you said, if my genes make me overweight then why can't "her" genes make her thin?! Thank you again for opening my eyes to this, something I myself was doing but now understand 🙂

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  262. I'm a fit, curvy young woman and I couldn't agree more that whether a woman is thin, overweight, ripped— or whatever her build— any woman is a "real woman." I agree that we should never promote the putting down of fellow women. Yes, let's promote healthy lifestyles— whether it's fighting self-starvation or overindulging— but in such a way that's constructive and respectful. Spreading hatred is never the way. After all, we're women! We're the nurturers of this world— let's act like it <3 Women are a political minority in this world. Together is how we've managed to gain freedoms within countries like U.S. The last thing we need is to fight against each other to imprison ourselves mentally in regards to our self esteem and bodies. We need to empower ourselves so we can get past the petty, superficial arguments so we can continue furthering global female empowerment. I know that's deep, but it's true! Haha <3

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  263. I found this on facebook and figured I would give it a read. I am a 27 year old mother of 2 toddlers. Aside from my pregnancies I have not been able to weigh more than 110 lbs. Most of the people that see me tell me I need a cheeseburger and it gets to me sometimes. I want to raise my children to see inner beauty. I hate feeling self-conscious because I look like a skeleton and I pray every day that my daughter will never feel like this. This really is a great article because it us very true that we are responsible (not their size) for empowering our young

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  264. I found this on facebook and figured I would give it a read. I am a 27 year old mother of 2 toddlers. Aside from my pregnancies I have not been able to weigh more than 110 lbs. Most of the people that see me tell me I need a cheeseburger and it gets to me sometimes. I want to raise my children to see inner beauty. I hate feeling self-conscious because I look like a skeleton and I pray every day that my daughter will never feel like this. This really is a great article because it us very true that we are responsible (not their size) for empowering our young

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  265. I agree with almost all of what you're saying but I've heard from pretty reliable sources that the VS models are on extremely strict and unhealthy diets the weeks before their shows. I mean, they are still real women, obviously but if this is true some of them might only look like this cause they're a result of an industry that isn't 100% fair. Some of them would still look like that, diet or no diet.

    Very well written and good points. Keep up the good work.
    Found it through a post on Facebook.

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  266. Unknown wrote:

    I love this article. When did woman's worth rely on her looks versus her sense of humour, intelligence, and unique talents?

    Also, I love you identify a real woman as anyone born with or WITHOUT a vaina that identifies them self as a woman.

    I found your blog through a Facebook share and I can't wait to read thru more of your posts. Thank you.

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  267. Nick Wargo wrote:

    There is nothing " sexy " or remotely " beautiful " about a woman who's bones you can see practically protruding from her body. Neither are " fake " boobs or any other kind of unnatural surgery they've had in the name of looking good. The way these models look has nothing to do with their " genes " as you put it and they don't happen upon this look naturally at all. There are many stories out there of how these women starve themselves and do many other unnatural things to keep these ghastly looks. You can keep these anorexic looking, fake body-part having women, I'll take an all-natural Adele-type anyday over these zombies !!!!!!!!

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  268. Nick Wargo wrote:

    There is nothing " sexy " or remotely " beautiful " about a woman who's bones you can see practically protruding from her body. Neither are " fake " boobs or any other kind of unnatural surgery they've had in the name of looking good. The way these models look has nothing to do with their " genes " as you put it and they don't happen upon this look naturally at all. There are many stories out there of how these women starve themselves and do many other unnatural things to keep these ghastly looks. You can keep these anorexic looking, fake body-part having women, I'll take an all-natural Adele-type anyday over these zombies !!!!!!!!

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  269. Shanna wrote:

    I found your post linked on facebook.

    I am very grateful for your words because in our family i am a larger woman, rather stocky and my daughter is built just like me. My niece is lean and tiny and built exactly like her mother who often is told she needs t gain weight as often as I am told I need to lose weight! Genectics play a large role in how we are shaped. I haved tried to lose weight to change shapes, but in the end I look exactly like my grandmother. My niece's mother has tried to workout to each more to bulk up and nothing has worked for her. Your message is true, we are all individuals. Thank you.

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  270. (Someone posted on FB, is how I saw this.)
    I agree for the most part, BUT keep in mind that large women are far more put down by society than are tiny women; you didn't see any large women on that Victoria's Secret runway, did you? No one should put anyone down for the shape of their bodies, but large women don't get the kudos that tiny women do.

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  271. Alissa R wrote:

    Tipsandtopcoats from Instagram! Love this post, I'm young myself (14) and it really irks me when my friends compare themselves to models or famous people. They always say that the other girl is perfect but they are not, and then another one of my friends will say, they are unrealistic you're perfect. NO YOU ARE ALL JUST FINE THE WAY YOU ARE PLEASE STOP. Thanks for finally putting it into words with your post!

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  272. Helen Chao wrote:

    A friend shared this on Facebook.

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  273. I'm a new commenter- I saw this post from a friend on Facebook.

    I agree with you too. I was underweight at a size 00 for years and felt that I was not a "real woman" and that I needed curves. I have since gained weight naturally because my health has improved and sit at an average size 4, but I do not blame anyone for just being thin. I didn't have an eating disorder, it was because my health was bad and I'm naturally not a curvy person. That being said I just hope that women don't feel the need to be super thin and have no self confidence because of it.

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  274. saw this posted on my FB feed and had to read!!
    I am 5ft8 and weigh around 9st, I have 4 happy healthy sons and am forever being told i need to put weight on because i'm too skinny, "go and eat something" " you look unhealthy"…..well heres some news for you all that have said this too me in the past….I EATand I eat a lot….as much as if not more than my hubby….I am a real woman, my genetics just say that I am going to be slim!!!
    Just because I am slim does not make me any less of a "REAL WOMAN"

    I am all for building confidence in the body but just because I am slim does not make me less of a woman than a 16st+ woman.

    I have skinny friends, fat friends, average size friends, pre and post op TS friends and as far as I am concerned each and everyone of them are REAL WOMEN.

    but yet because I am slim I am told I am not real, that i am unhealthy, that i must have an eating disorder, that i cannot be happy with my body, that I am a stick, that no real man would find me attractive………Well sod you, I am a slim confident woman, with no health problems, four beautiful sons and a Husband who has loved me since we were in our teens and he still loves the way I look after 15 years of relationship…..My man is a REAL man in love with me a REAL woman…

    I can only hope the same for all women out there…YOU ARE ALL REAL WOMEN and YOU ALL DESERVE to live YOUR life however you want to and be HAPPY and CONFIDENT in yourself xx

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  275. Someone posted this on her facebook and that's how I found it. I am 5'9 and naturally really skinny. I have no butt and I'm an a cup (like I would choose to have those things!) All my life I have been picked on, made fun of and downright tormented about my size. Strangers often yell things like "eat a hamburger!" at me across the street or from their car. Women have told me to my face that I look disgusting. Pretty much every female assumes I have an eating disorder. Even when I was a kid the other girls would say I have chicken legs and I should go live with the other chickens. Kids are brutal! I've heard mothers tell their daughters horrible things about me. …

    The WAR on women is partly the war on each other. I'm a feminist and I've always believed in empowering women, not tearing them down. Even though people are complete assholes to me I know its about them ans their insecurities
    And I would never use their appearance against them or to bring them down even though they just did it to me. I wish people would just love themselves and love each other. All of a sudden its a war between curvy girls and skinny girls. Wtf?! And over what exactly? Over men? Because that's stupid. How about we focus on empowering ourselves and each other. Because we're not equal and we still have a ways to go. If we destroy each other then men will think its ok to destroy us too.

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  276. Found this blog post via a friend who re-posted it on Facebook. This is so liberating to read, to see that other women are stepping out to defend other women's body types. I agree with everything you said! It's important to see women for the beautiful, different, voluptuous, cheeky, petite, and driven gender types that we are. We are all valid, and I hope, someday, the world will accept that. And I think we're getting there.

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  277. I found this blog post from a friend sharing it on facebook. I completely agree with you. I certainly know what it's like to be told I need to eat more and put on weight. That being said, I wanted to give extra props for acknowledging that not all women are born with vaginas. We transgirls certainly appreciate the acknowledgment that we are in fact every bit as much women as cisgirls. n.n

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  278. I was really skinny when I was younger and I was made fun of a lot for being "anorexic" and "sick." So I started over eating on purpose because I bought into it and I hated looking at my body.
    I feel like the whole "real women have curves" and anti-diet thing was invented to make overweight people feel better about themselves (when the real remedy is to eat healthier)but all it does is transfer an unhealthy body image to another group of women. As long as someone is eating healthy and happy with her body then no one should be entitled to say a thing

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  279. I was really skinny when I was younger and I was made fun of a lot for being "anorexic" and "sick." So I started over eating on purpose because I bought into it and I hated looking at my body.
    I feel like the whole "real women have curves" and anti-diet thing was invented to make overweight people feel better about themselves (when the real remedy is to eat healthier)but all it does is transfer an unhealthy body image to another group of women. As long as someone is eating healthy and happy with her body then no one should be entitled to say a thing

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  280. Hallelujah! THANK YOU for posting this obvious and common-sense FACT, amidst the sea of mass delusion that seems to have swept over the definition of "real."
    btw – I have met Victoria Secret model Adriana Lima in person, and she is so sweet and grounded, I'm horrified that people write such mean things about her based only on her looks.

    Sure there are overtly underweight models, but the Victoria Secret models have great curves, and are far from having an unhealthy weight.

    I couldn't even imagine what would happen if similar mean things would be said about a plus size actress.

    In our orgy of tipping-over-itself for political correctness, even the basic fact – that all women, of all shapes, colors and sizes, are "real" as long as they are human, seems to be bulldozed over in some movement that – if you are naturally petite you must be "fake" and if you are naturally plump, you must be "real."

    The fallacy of this mantra defies logic.

    Thank you for writing an objective, rational piece.

    Source – I read this article as some angry women and a man had posted this on FB ranting against this article and calling this bullshit. On reading this great, and finally an objective piece on this "real women" issue, I was baffled about why they were so angry.

    They say when an intelligent (or obvious) rational argument is met with personal attacks, the author should feel flattered as it means the objector has nothing intelligent to say in return.
    So thank you, for writing an intelligent piece, and let the naysayers continue the rants.

    Cheers!

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  281. Ellie wrote:

    Yes but the point is models give out an unhealthy body image as they barely eat anything to look like they do and young people want to look like that. How can people condone that? Its the same with photo shop. We all have to look a certain way in society to be deemed beautiful and thats the image that models portray. You said so yourself 'the most beautiful women you will ever see'
    Im not saying only curvy women are beautiful and a lot of skinny/slim people are healthy. But I know a lot of people starve themselves to try and look like this as it is what beauty is now.

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  282. Demzon wrote:

    You are getting this many comments because you made a good point, and in your passion explaining that point reviled some truths that we know, but find hard to admit. As you pointed out so well at the start that if the person says they are a woman they are so, I also posted it to a page I run on transgender support as this is something great for these people to read, and build confidence from after being beaten down by society more than anyone.

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  283. Found you through Facebook.

    I suppose the whole "real women have curves" thing wouldn't annoy me as much if it weren't completely inaccurate. Assuming that "curvy" is referring to someone as having a defined waist noticeably smaller than the hips and bust (though now it seems it's the waist/hip difference that's the critical one), then there is no reason why someone can't be a size 0 and curvy. I agree that it will likely be more dramatic on someone who's 5'6 or taller, medium-framed, and a size 8, but in my opinion, a woman who is 5'0, size 0, small-framed, and has a 10 inch difference between the waist and hips is going to be pretty curvy. But my understanding has been that "curviness" is just as much genetic as it is weight.

    For whatever it's worth, I've tried to stay sedentary and eat high-calorie foods to gain weight. I've been fairly successful, fluctuating roughly 8-10 pounds heavier than I was. However, at 5'0 and having a small frame, I'm still a size 0. Something tells me that just as there are women whose bodies will not physically let them get down under a 4 without being underweight, there are plenty of women who cannot physically go above a 2 without being overweight.

    Personally I don't respond with a weight insult in return. What I do is remind the person that it's socially unacceptable to comment on anyone's weight, and that it's impolite to say anything about someone's appearance unless it's positive. That usually stops the comments.

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  284. Yuna wrote:

    Thank God this post is perfect! I've been there so many times to a point where I had MY OWN FRIEND (which was my best friend at the time) telling people that men don't like "cloth hangers" like me. Just because I was a model and she was "the average" woman. Well, guess what? I don't want a man who likes me for my appearance. I want a real man, who will like me for who I am, for me qualities and try to make me a better person together with him. That's it, That's what real people should do. I'm tired of body shaming everywhere, it just feels like jealousy… Why don't people just learn to love themselves the way they are and value personality, talent, qualities, over appearance? I don't do that to anyone, I have friends of all styles and I love them. I don't want people doing it with me.

    Anyways… I'm a new reader 🙂 Just found this post through my friend's Facebook profile, since she's a huge VS fan and shared it 😀

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  285. Hey I really enjoyed this reading. I agree with what your saying and your big picture point. I myself am average size frame or body type. I Would not be considered by most ppl to be fat or skinny (or what societies idea of that is). curvy yes for sure but I have a smaller waist. I don't do diets or anything just eat what I want. I am pretty secure with my body overall. However I have seen and met wonderful real life women who have had to deal with being called too fat or too skinny. I think the idea behind that message "real women" was meant to be a good thing. I just think they went about it wrong on an extreme for heavy set frames. ppl don't only discriminate others that are heavier set I have had dear close friends who have been made fun of for there size being thin. As far as those models go yes some maybe even most are genetically that skinny and should be embraced for who they are. However some of them are not and do suffer from eating disorders. So although some of those posts about them being to skinny are true for some of the models, I think ppl putting hateful comments like eat a sand witch, are still really wrong. We never really know what women are dealing with eating disorders when we come across them. So the best advice is if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. For those ppl that do starve themselves to be skinny for the runway they need just as much help care and sensitivity as the women who deal with being overweight and having insecurities. Its about lifting anyone to love and embrace the way they are made so they can not be the skinniest but at there healthiest what ever weight or size that may be for them individually.:) We all have the ability to be beautiful or ugly its up to us what we choose and that means something deeper then what's on the outside.

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  286. Never been to your blog before. A friend posted a link to this rant on facebook, and I have to say that I agree 100%!

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  287. Perfectly said!

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  288. malanka wrote:

    One of my friends posted a link to this on facebook. And I totally agree with the point you're trying to get across here. I've been on both sides of the 'normal' fence. I'd always been petite through high school, then put on 20 lbs on a 5'5" frame in college – yeah, I felt 'curvy', but really, I felt fat. This lead to me developing an eating disorder, which has taken me years to admit. I am now back down to my 'normal' weight, if not a few pounds lower. But I feel great. Because I know I look great and I'm healthy about it. I run, exercise and eat well. My family makes jabs about my size all the time – so THANK YOU for posting this article. For women who are just naturally more angular than curvy, and for calling out the whole 'curvy' trend as just an excuse to feel ok when really you are overweight and that leads to health issues of it's own. Rant rant rant. Point is, there are other real women out there and I am one of them and I appreciate your article.

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  289. I found this article from http://www.reddit.com/r/fatpeoplestories

    No, we are not fat shakers. Many of us are actually having and trying to get healthy. It's a forum with stories containing fat logic and the frustrating and sometimes dangerous outcomes of thinking like an addict when your drug is food and your enabler is the fat acceptance movement.

    Good article.

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  290. I found this article from http://www.reddit.com/r/fatpeoplestories

    No, we are not fat shakers. Many of us are actually having and trying to get healthy. It's a forum with stories containing fat logic and the frustrating and sometimes dangerous outcomes of thinking like an addict when your drug is food and your enabler is the fat acceptance movement.

    Good article.

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  291. Sam wrote:

    Facebook post. I agree with your point of view.

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  292. Yes and no. Real women do have curves, and don't. But that's not really the issue is it? The issue is, are these women thin and healthy, or are they starving, over-exercising or doing otherwise harmful things to conform to and perpetuate an image of the "ideal" woman set forth by the media. Who gives a shit if you are curvy or skinny as long as you are taking care of, and HONORING, your body. That is what we need to be teaching our youth. The basics of health and nutrition, what their value is- as a person, not just a woman, and to follow their own inner guidance NOT what someone else says is right or wrong for their bodies. We need to be teaching them to look within themselves and each other for what is important and to disregard any notions of worth based on physical appearance. Period.

    Published 12.29.13
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  293. PaleoMum wrote:

    I have been skinny most of my life. In fact I was teased all through school because I was skinny. To the point that I wanted to kill myself. I tried everything to reverse my skinniness.

    I ate the worst types of food, I refused to do exercise and you know what? This attitude is about as useful as the overweight person who has trouble losing weight despite eating healthy and exercising – it doesn't always work. But eating all that crap and having no active lifestyle will bring a plethora of health issues – and I got them bad.

    When my metabolism eventually did catch up, I put on the weight, but I also was VERY sick. I rejoiced at the thought that I was putting on weight, but it didn't change. Instead of being chastised for being skinny, I was chastised for being fat!

    Now I am focusing on being healthy. I am back to being skinny – because that's my natural frame, where I am most healthiest, but yep – it's back to skinny shaming for me. Can't win.

    (Found you via a Facebook link)

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  294. Gina Darby wrote:

    I agree that women come in all shapes and sizes. It's sad that we have to tear each other down to feel better about ourselves. Really, the outside will come/go/fade with time, it is what is inside that truly counts. We need to stand strong and build each other up, and be a positive example of that, regardless of our perceived "flaws". And this from someone who has to resist buying a lottery ticket to pay for a chin job! I am still working on my issues for sure!!! But I am willing to admit it :))

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  295. I could not agree with you more. My whole entire high school career people always called me anorexic or some other crap like that. When, on the contrary, I eat like a pig. I love food and cannot get enough of it. Being thin is not always a choice for some people. Some people just are. Calling people names like anorexic or bulimia or anything else can hurt JUST AS MUCH as being called fat. No one has the right to judge my body.

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  296. Janiemae wrote:

    My daughter and I (not members of the skinny club) watched and enjoyed the show. The women were smart, funny, beautiful, healthy, fit, and totally approachable. We even saw arm jiggle. Obviously we all have it. I hate when women are objectified, but these are models for a clothing line. It is their job that they chose, not were forced into.
    Treat others the way you want to be treated. It is the "golden rule" for a reason.

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  297. Great post. I found it on Facebook from a few friends posting about it!

    You know, I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school… I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.

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  298. I couldn't agree more with this article! I am 5'10 and 110 pounds. I have been asked by strangers if I am anorexic, questioned about eating disorders by my doctor, and yelled at while at a baseball game by a stranger for someone to "go get that girl a hotdog." I have never once considered my body size as anything but normal because that's how I have always been. I do not have an eating disorder, I've never even thought about it! Nor do I believe I have to fit into what society says is beautiful. This is just how my body is. But I am automatically stereotyped as anorexic because I don't have the beautiful curves that others do. What people say about girls my size is hurtful, and not all of them realize that commenting on my weight is just as hurtful to me as it would be to someone considered over weight. I am beautiful because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Just as everyone that has read this article. Thank you so much for writing this!!

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  299. michael wrote:

    It's like the idea that "real men don't text" or "real me don't…" whatever. People will always tell you what you're supposed to be.

    Great article. I wrote one just like it.

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  300. Julie wrote:

    Hi! A facebook friend of mine posted a link to this page and I loved this post! I used to wear a size 14 and hate myself. My goal was to get into a single digit size. I felt like my body/looks at that time didn't match the person I was (am) inside…but I had been heavy my entire adult life and had no clue as to my bone structure or what a reasonable weight or size would be for me. I found myself and my spirituality (for weight truly is an inside job) and the weight started to come off. In 2 years I lost 60lbs or more. I discovered that I'm very healthy at a size 2. TWO! I had no idea I had a frame that petite! I had wanted to blame my weight on my frame, genetics, etc, but now I find I can gain AND lose weight easily! I find topics like this interesting, having been both heavy and thin. Those in misery tend to want to drag others down…not that all heavy people are miserable, but folks who attack other people based on looks, are not usually happy with themselves. When I took an honest look in the mirror…and was ready to make changes–inside!!–then the outside followed…for the outside is truly only a reflection of our inner momentums (habits).
    Just my 2cents 😉 love and light to all who read this…and those who don't 😉 xoxo

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  301. Like others, I agree and disagree with some of the things you have said, but for the most part I agree. Being "too thin" has acquired a stigma. But I think the most important thing this post has done is to get people thinking and talking about it. I don't think your point of view is the only one we need to listen to, and maybe your outlook will grow and evolve (as mine has) by reading some of the comments- so much insight!

    Thanks for helping to keep the conversation moving.

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  302. I haven't read through all your comments but looks like people are picking your words apart! I love the points you made and comparing fat-shaming being similar to skinny-shaming! I agree with you whole heartedly! found this article from the Operation Skinny a jeans Blog (well her Facebook page).

    Whattheschneck.blogspot.com

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  303. Makena wrote:

    A fucking men!!!
    I've been thinking/feeling this for years as my sister and I have been skinny shamed through middle school. One chubby girl had the audacity of assuming my sister had an ED.
    I truly hate the hypocrisy in the "real women have curves" line. Totally agree that the focus needs to be on us SUPPORTING EACH OTHER no matter what the body type is.

    You have eloquently and simply put in words what needed to be said to some 'friends' i knew in middle school 10 years ago.

    I found your blog because my sister posted this article on her fb idk how she found it.

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  304. A friend of mine posted this link on Facebook and I just have to say that I can't agree more with every word you said. I am extremely thin and i get the comments all the time about my weight. Whether its people asking how much I weigh, the "eat a sandwich" comments, or even the rummers of me having an eating disorder while I was in school, they all hurt. What people didn't know was that I am a cancer survivor and chemo therapy stunted my growth and I literally cannot gain weight. But that shouldn't matter. Why Should girls have to justify why they are thin? I don't know any girl my size who would approach a plus sized women and ask why she is the way she is.

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  305. Joanna wrote:

    It's so true, every one is born differente. Also lots of women actually have a good daily diet and care about their health and exercise. Nothing is for free.

    I saw this post on Facebook.

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  306. I have to say this is by far the best blog post I've read in a long while!!

    A round of applause…

    I found this through a friends' facebook 🙂

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  307. I agree whole heartedly to your points! i have friends who are deemed "sick" and i am told i am too "large" but we get along and we look past the body type, we love each other for who we are. even in my family the body shapes vary to both ends of the body type spectrum. there is only genes and also we are all the women we are, you can be "ugly" to the eyes of society on the outside, but if your personality is one that shines with beauty, then who cares what you look like. this was a very refreshing article and very loving to all women, thank you very much

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  308. One time reader, not following blogs usually. 🙂
    Found you through a post a friend made on facebook.
    Great writing!

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  309. georgek wrote:

    I'm a new reader, and I found this through it getting shared like crazy by a load of my friends on facebook. Probably because it's a really good fucking statement that I (sadly) haven't seen put into words anywhere before.

    You go, Tyler Lucille!

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  310. Page wrote:

    My daughter (public personality is Page Ruth at Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/pageruth ) posted it on her Facebook page and on to my time line. She is often accused of being anorexic. In fact, she is just skinny.

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  311. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! I'm 23 years old and still weigh less than 100 pounds and I'm always getting comments like "omg do you ever eat?!" I just want to come back and say to them, "omg do you ever not?!" Like how rude is that to ask someone!!! You wouldn't ask a fat person if they don't eat so why ask a skinny person if they do. EVERYONE in my family was/is tiny and if these morons who make these snide comments KNEW me or my family they would understand. Smh. Thank you again for this article.

    Published 12.29.13
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  312. I found your post here on a page I follow: https://www.facebook.com/PorphyriaSuicide

    I personally feel that most of the anti-skinny girl movement and "woman have curves" thing is generally overweight people trying to justify their impulse control disorders. Many of them try to say they have another disorder that makes them gain weight: which is not supported by fact: http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/adult/causes/index.html

    I don't have a problem with bigger girls. My girlfriend falls into that category. It's fine. What isn't fine though is the "cool to be fat" movement that has began plaguing America. It is unhealthy, and many of them are trying to excuse such things as "not my fault". It is if you are eating all of the nom noms.

    I am speaking from the experience of severe alcoholism, which is as serious of an impulse control disorder as over-eating. But I do not accept the idea that either of these things is a disease. Calling them a disease is another way to avoid responsibility for your own actions that have placed you in the situation.

    For the people with real medical problems that lead them to obesity. that sucks. I hope something can be done to treat your condition. But all of you others, quit lying to yourselves and everyone else. Take responsibility for your own choices, and quit picking on the girls you wish you could be.

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  313. This was a perfect blogpost. Thank you. 😉

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  314. I have never read a piece of yours before but this speaks to me on so many levels. Thank you so much for writing this as I feel like a friend and I are the only people harping on about it. Where I stay it's even getting difficult to buy clothes because everything is being stocked in 14s and 16s and not a 6 or even an 8.

    Thank you.

    Published 12.29.13
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  315. I have never read a piece of yours before but this speaks to me on so many levels. Thank you so much for writing this as I feel like a friend and I are the only people harping on about it. Where I stay it's even getting difficult to buy clothes because everything is being stocked in 14s and 16s and not a 6 or even an 8.

    Thank you.

    Published 12.29.13
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  316. I found this article because a friend shared it on Facebook and I clicked it because of the title.

    Published 12.30.13
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  317. Not something that usually bothers me, but reading you're opinion on this does raise my eyebrow once or twice, pretty average myself and size really doesn't matter. I think as women we need to tell each other that fact too (and mean it!) instead of just making the men feel good about themselves hey?
    Also I found your blog through Facebook, a friend posted a link to this article. =]

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  318. emb3315 wrote:

    Amen sister! Excellent logical argument.

    Small typo in your sentence about EDs, though should be thought. (I'm an editor, and a bit OCD, and if this were my post I'd want to be told, so I hope I'm not offending you. If I did, my apologies.)

    At any rate, this is a wonderful post. Thank you for publishing it. I am not a regular reader, though I may be now. I found this because a friend reposted it on FB.

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  319. Tee wrote:

    I totally agree there needs to be a balance. I get tired of hearing about how sick it is that models are size 2 when the average woman is size 14. Size 14 is FAT. Just because something is average doesn't make it normal. The average american is FAT. On the other end, we could stop doing all those photo shops on people so that we don't have a false idea of what famous individuals look like. To show that they aren't perfect, no one is. i=In defense of the too skinny stand, I do have a friend who was a beautiful size 4 and has now become big into marathon running and is now a size 1 and I think she looks ill and I know her weight is too low for her height. We just need to emphasize that it is about a healthy weight range, not how that range appears on your bones.

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  320. "If you weren't born with a vagina, and you identify as a woman, you are a real woman."

    So if I don't have an engine and identify with a car, I am a real car?

    That logic is completely bogus. It is impossible to cater to people who "think" they are something when they are simply not biologically. People claim science as truth but reject it at their convenience.

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  321. Ok so for everyone "hating" on the skinny models. Shame on you. I am petite person. I am not super thin, but I work out and try to not eat all things fatty. I have curves. Look I doubt most men or women want to see what everyone is referring to as a "real women". Magazines, porn, reality tv, and advertisements appeal to our dream person. I doubt you would buy those skimpy panties if the girl had fuzzy hair, missing teeth, or love handles. So ladies get over the jealousy br happy with yourself and work what you were given. I'm gonna rock a bikini this summer third trimester third baby pregnant. Let me here any of you catty women talk about me. Your just jealous you don't have the confidence to do . Eat, work ou, love yourself. Whatever you want to do don't hate!!!!! Found on fb.

    Published 12.30.13
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  322. Charlie wrote:

    I appologize if this thought offends anyone but… Isn't a transsexual a man that through hormone therapy(biochemistry), and surgery changes his body to match a woman's to create a sense of stability between their psychological gender and their physical gender? And wouldn't that thus make them literally self made women instead of real women?

    Published 12.30.13
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  323. Charlie wrote:

    Oh I almost forgot to tell you that I found this post on facebook.

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  324. This was awesome! Found you through facebook! 🙂 Looking forward to reading more from you!

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  325. im a first time reader, and i found this link because my friend linked it on FB

    but i do agree with you, i think "how much of a real woman you look like" should stay out of a woman's vocabulary, and healthy eating should be perpetuated.

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  326. Saw you on facebook, shared by a friend. When I hear that real women have curves, it reminds me that many of the pictures I see in magazines of models are airbrushed and retouched to a "perfect" image. I'm reminded that I don't have to look that way to be beautiful.

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  327. Saw you on facebook, shared by a friend. When I hear that real women have curves, it reminds me that many of the pictures I see in magazines of models are airbrushed and retouched to a "perfect" image. I'm reminded that I don't have to look that way to be beautiful.

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  328. I have to say you have completely changed my view on this matter! this is very eye opening and an amazing educational point that we need to share! I don't think the issue is having 'skinny' models, maybe we just need a mix of different sized girls – if that's a fair thing to say?

    I seen this shared on my Facebook!

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  329. Dreamer. wrote:

    While I think your viewpoint is right, using Victoria Secret models as an example is completely wrong.

    You cant honestly think these women wake up in the morning pull on underwear and look like that. Yes they are 'real women' but they are real women who, whilst naturally skinny do diet and stretch,run and do yoga within an inch of their lives.

    I agree you telling these women to eat is as bad as calling another women fat but you cant hold these women up as examples. They are part of the problem when most women don't look like them. Most women are not a size 0 and we hold these women up as beautiful and the ideal when for most women there body type is unattainable.

    I agree with your sentiment but your part of the problem when you use models as an example.

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  330. Im a new reader to your blog and enjoyed your rant!

    I'm actually a curvy girl but with a difference…I have a size 10 waist, a J-Lo bum because of the squat exercises at the gym and genetically a 34G bust. I eat healthy and exercise everyday because I enjoy it, not because I need to conform. No one comments on how thin I look but only overly obese about the size of my chest like I never realised they were there for the past 7 years of my life!
    REAL women are different in size, shape, hair colour, length, eyes, height, weight and don't give a shit about conforming to please other people. These robot women that feel the need to imitate and have the audacity to comment on others who aren't similar to them aren't living they are just wasting their lives trying to please the rest of us who don't give a shit!

    Published 12.30.13
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  331. Ro wrote:

    @Mellisa_Clarke tweeted your blog link

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  332. I think you hit on the point when you stated the "Real Woman" is a backlash to what we see in the media as the standard of beauty that excludes the majority of women on the planet. Where I don't agree with body shaming (at either size) we do have to acknowledge where this us against them stems from Check out this essay The Crooked Room of the Female Body Image from mybodymyimae.com
    http://wp.me/p11rr6-1mu

    it goes into how we as women are so askew that we can't see ourselves or others properly. I found you through FB!! Keep up the great work

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  333. all your lovely traffic would be from Facebook 🙂 20 of my friends alone have read and maybe posted about this.

    And its just a good post in general Thank you for the good read.

    James

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  334. M.L. Smith wrote:

    May I suggest that we are completely off course in how we define a "real woman?"

    I have three friends I would like to mention: One of these women is a DD-cup, with wide hips and the teensiest 24-inch waist. The second has a definition boyish figure, and no matter how much she eats, her high metabolism won't let her gain weight. The third is a gymnast; her body is more muscular than most guys' due to the demands of her sport. All three of these girls have very different body shapes from one another, yet they are all, by all accounts, genuine women. Indeed, how dare we judge the authenticity of a woman based on her body shape?

    We must dive deeper. I would like to suggest that to truly define a "real woman," we must look at what lies within.

    During the annual VS Fashion Show, women are paid to place their nearly-naked bodies on display to be broadcast to millions. There are also women who are paid to be similarly dressed and stand on street corners. The only difference between these two examples is their title, the first being a "model," and the second being a "prostitute." By all accounts, both are women.

    Are they real women? No. A real women has respect for her body. Her body is a sacred thing, the sole possession that she was born with. One would think that something so precious would be kept close, private, and shared only with someone very special. And yet we see so many women, young and not-so-young, who have forgotten what it means to respect herself. Why? Because the media glorifies those women who do not. And so, we see fewer and fewer women who are truly "real," so few that we have forgotten what it means.

    Imagine a world where self-respect is promoted, rather than the values of selling one's body. Women wouldn't feel so pressured to show so much skin. They would be more comfortable in attire that doesn't bare all. Confidence would rise, and vices such as eating disorders and drug abuse could be drastically reduced. Promiscuous behavior in teens and young adults would decrease, because the pressure to share one's body with the world would be removed.

    In conclusion, I repeat my premise that a real woman can not be defined by her body shape or size. A real woman is defined by the respect she holds for herself.

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  335. I agree! Though, it would seem that the media has pitted people against one another yet again… I'm not saying that people don't hold responsibility on that matter, because they do. They should be smarter and better than that, but it would seem that the media posts images or ideas that imply that the world should be one way and one way only in order to be happy… that includes the Victoria's secret way and I'm sure you've all seen the perfume commercials and so on. America has become stuck on appearance and sex appeal and the crowd is eating it up and it's disgusting. No one speaks against it, but when cheerios has a mixed race family in their commercial people speak out against that. Really? It's this what we've come to? Parents aren't the only ones who teach our children… society/the media dies it too. So if this is what we're ok with, then I shouldn't hear any complaining when daughters are crying because they can't look airbrushed and perfect like the girls who have professionals mold them for the camera(although many of them don't need it which shows how messed up it truly is), are getting pregnant at a young age, or dressing inappropriately; or young men have the wrong ideas or attitudes about themselves, their appearance(yes, men get that too), women, or relationships. I'm not saying anything against these women… personally I don't appreciate Victoria's secret campaigns, but I do believe in the fact that there is more than one way to be beautiful and that starts with within. If we're constantly at each other's throats then lack of self esteem, because of others or ourselves, will surely crush us. If we don't start supporting each other and promoting better things and stop being so one-sided it will only get worse and from what I've already seen, I can't even imagine…

    Published 12.30.13
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  336. I'm also a new reader and I found you because one of my Facebook friends shared this post. This is great, congrats!

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  337. Siv wrote:

    the thing is that it is the beauty industry as tricking us all – they do not want people to be happy about themselves .. Plastic surgery is common and many are using this now. This is a big problem. beauty industry does not want us ever to be happy – then they can not sell their products. Our attitude to skinny models are not jealous – these young women may pay a high price to look like they do. it's a hard industry for young models. And they may stand as role models for many young women – ideals which for many is not possible to ever achieve. To show women (and men) only as objects is not healthy for anyone. I would rather work to reach out to the fashion industry and beauty industry instead of accusing women who constantly have to fight and live with this objectification.

    Published 12.30.13
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  338. Kay wrote:

    I'm a regular reader and I read this when you first posted it, however this morning my GRANDMA emailed me this link! She found it from her sister, who found it from Facebook. That's as far back as I could track! But since I didn't tell you the first time I read this, I need to tell you now – I. LOVE. THIS. You rock.

    Published 12.30.13
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  339. Erica : ) wrote:

    New reader, love this argument. Whatever your body looks like after incorporating a reasonably healthy diet and regular exercise that is how YOU are MADE to look, so love it. I found this through a facebook post.

    Published 12.30.13
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  340. I think it's safe to say this has gone viral (or is in the process) on Facebook. That's where I found it.

    I agree wholeheartedly. I wrote about something similar in my blog in a piece called "Shaming my Body Shame." I'm generally perceived to be thin (not that I've never had my own weight struggles, including medication induced weight gain), and people seem to not have any problems whatsoever commenting on my body and my weight and my appearance as if they're entitled to comment (especially if they themselves struggle with their weight). It is NOT okay to tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing with my body. Telling me to eat more, a comment I get all of the time, is demeaning and judgmental. Just because my own body issues and struggles (most of us have them, even those perceived to be skinny or a healthy weight) aren't the same as yours doesn't mean you're entitled to comment on my body.

    It's too bad I didn't read this a bit earlier, I would've included it in my blog's monthly link roundup for sure. It'll just have to wait until January's!

    Published 12.30.13
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  341. my friend on Facebook posted the link to this article. he quoted something you wrote from it as his status and i couldn't resist reading it. this is so much more insightful than any "feel better about yourself" article I've read. I'm only 17 but i understand this. people never realize how the tables have turned and that we criticize skinny girls as much as we do hefty ones. it's wrong. we shouldn't look at someone and say they are unhealthy because they have extra weight, and we shouldn't call someone anorexic because they have a little less. it's the same insult. either way it's hurting both people. we can't help our genes and most models have those tiny bodies because they grew up with a tiny body. they can't help who they are just as much as a hefty person. i think people just need to be confident with who they are and they'll lead a happier life, and if they themselves are unhappy with who they are they should change it if they want. not because society tells them to. what you said in here is so enlightening. thank you!

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  342. A friend shared your post on facebook. But this was a great read.

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  343. Gloria wrote:

    Not just AMEN….but A to the FREAKINGmen!!!!

    Best post/rant on this subject that I've seen all year!!!

    I'm one of those who are considered, "a skinny bitch who needs to eat a cheeseburger"……

    Much love from Oklahoma! XOXO ♥

    Published 12.30.13
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  344. Gloria wrote:

    Sorry, my first comment deleted and meant to try to edit it and tell you that I found you through facebook…A friend shared this post on facebook.
    I went back to edit and had trouble reposting.

    Published 12.30.13
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  345. Meredith wrote:

    Amen, sister. Look at you just moving on up that blogging ladder 🙂 Love reading your posts – this one especially! xo & HNY!

    Published 12.30.13
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  346. This is a load of absolute crap! Victoria's Secret would never have women with 'curves' on their cat walk nor would they have women who looked like Adele on their cat walk! Over weight women get so much more abuse by everyone in society than skinny women do and it's companies like Victoria secret that cause it because they basically imply (with their skinny models) that being curvy or overweight is a very bad thing. They don't sell sizes over 16 and even 12-14 is a struggle! Companies like Victoria secret are the reason for society critising women's weight!!! If they had women of all shapes and sizes on their cat walk and embraced them all then maybe society wouldn't judge women's weight as much!

    Published 12.30.13
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  347. Ghost91 wrote:

    Totally agree with this, it's completely unnecessary and irrational to attack other women for being, in my opinion, fit and toned. BTW, came across this on a FB post.

    Published 12.30.13
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  348. Lyra wrote:

    My cousin posted this to Facebook. Considering the huge traffic of self-shaming on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter by under 25s today, because of shit like "I don't have a thigh gap!" I feel as though everyone needs to read this – and PARENTS need to realize their responsibility to teach these essential lessons to their children. People come in all kinds of colors, shapes, sizes, etc, and none are "incorrect."

    Published 12.30.13
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  349. These woman do need to eat a sandwich only if they are starving themselves daily in order to look this way. It is about being a healthy woman not a malnourished one. There is a big difference.

    Published 12.30.13
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  350. dchperemi wrote:

    I'm sure someone has said this already, but if you're honestly curious as to why people are tempted to "skinny-shame," it's because we live in a culture which non-verbally (and lately, verbally) fat-shames as a cultural practice of normalcy. Thin women are constantly lauded and praised, and fat women are ignored, shamed, and encouraged into self hatred for the sake of marketing quotas. People are tempted to bash thin women to even out the scales. In the mind of the "skinny-shamer," it's a case of David versus Goliath (somewhat ironically, heh). Granted, it's not a very good plan of action. I think women are women so long as they identify as women, just as you rightly said. Putting down one group of women due to their physical appearance still perpetuates the cycle of women being judged by their appearance.

    But I think it's silly to pretend like you have "no idea" why we are tempted to bash. It's pretty obvious for any warm body with the ability to push a TV remote button or use flip a fashion mag that skinny women have easier lives than large women do. Seriously. "Thin privilege," I think, is officially a thing now.

    (Found you on my facebook feed by the way. A friend shared your story–because she liked it!)

    Published 12.30.13
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  351. Most sense I've read all year. Hats off to you!

    lipstickanlashes.blogspot.co.uk

    Published 12.31.13
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  352. A friend shared this on FB and I must say, AMEN!!!! I've been on the "eat a sandwich" side and am currently on the "when are you due?" side (i had a hysterectomy 3 years ago……) It's horrible what women will say to each other!!!!!

    Published 12.31.13
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  353. Found this post on my favebook feed. You go! Great words that all women should hear. Be proud of your mind and body. If you're not happy with those things, make goals to change it and stick to them!

    Published 12.31.13
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  354. Ben Wagner wrote:

    Loved the post, keep rocking it!

    New reader, my friend message me on Facebook and said she loved this for what it was.

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  355. sarahpop wrote:

    My daughter shared your blog with me this evening. I was a "skinny" girl before Twiggy was a popular model. My childhood was a series of skinny name calling and taunts. While some may believe that calling names is appropriate if the person is thin because it causes others angst then they need to look inside their hearts and see if the reverse can be and should be said to them. If you wouldn't appreciate hearing fat comments then figure I'm not going to like hearing your skinny ones. I'm in my mid 50s, 5'8" and about 130 pounds. I do not want to hear your weight comments ever. I've had a lifetime of them

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  356. -d. wrote:

    oh my goodness LOVE this!!!

    xoxo

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  357. 2012Knives wrote:

    Heya; new reader here, found your article (blog? >.>) on my wife's Facebook page when we were trawling it for funny and interesting pictures and articles. I gotta say, it's pretty refreshing – honest tone, good content, very vibrant.

    The thing I tend to notice, at least in the United States, is that as a culture we're experiencing a transition in how we treat self-esteem and self-image, and like many transition periods it's a messy and painful change. It's great to see someone calling attention to people taking up one extreme in place of another without being insulting. It's a rare thing these days, finding honest criticism that isn't an attack.

    Blog on, friend.

    Published 12.31.13
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  358. Found you through someone's 'share' on Facebook.

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  359. Sara wrote:

    I totally understand where you are coming from, and I agree that both skinny and curvy women are beautiful. But the thing is, SO many young girls these days feel the pressure to lose weight because they do not think they are beautiful enough. Society has brainwashed everyone into thinking that skinny women are the only beautiful women when in fact, I think curvy women are just as beautiful. The VSFW includes beautiful women who are indeed very skinny. But what if a little girl was watching that and thought she needed to be just as skinny to be just as beautiful? I know girls who have suffered from bulimia, anorexia etc. I think VSFW is promoting only skinny body types and I think it would be better to include all body types. That would for sure interest me and make me actually want to watch the show.

    http://sarassweetstyle.blogspot.com/

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  360. Hannah J wrote:

    I've been a UK size 16 for most of my adult life. It's only in the last few months have I lost enough weight to get back into a 14 and now I'm partially back in 16s because I'm pregnant.

    I think people quote the "Real women have curves" line because if you flick through a magazine nearly every model is a size 12 or smaller. We're made to believe that to be a real woman we have to be super skinny and pretty and have the perfect hair and make up not own the right anatomy.

    My Mum to me is a real woman, she bore two children she cared for them and see them grown into semi sane young adults.

    Having said that my friend's mum is just as much a woman, she's had one daughter and fought breast cancer.

    My Grandma is a real woman too. She had a stroke about 7-8 years ago and hasn't let it stop her. It's slowed her down but she is still taking life and kicking it in the butt.

    I found you on FB after a friend of mine shared your link.

    Published 12.31.13
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  361. I really love this blog you wrote, I've been one of those naturally skinny girl all my life, & no matter how much I ate, I'd lose weight instead of gainin it even if I was all day in the sofa doing nothing & everyone in my 19 year life have been calling me names & saying I should go to a councelour, doctor, hospital, etc. cause I have an eating disorder. So this blog basically teaches everyone how you can be skinny naturally without having an eating disorder, or curvy, or whatever your body size is & that we're all woman no matter our size…
    I saw the link to this blog on a beauty guru twitter account, @satnightalrite

    Published 12.31.13
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  362. But every woman has some form of curves, whether they extremely accentuated or hard to see, all women do, it's natural. Woman need curves, otherwise we wouldn't be able to have children because where would our birth giving hips come from? Yes I agree if a woman doesn't have curves she would be a real woman but at the same time that woman would be so ill, so painfully ill too. The photo of the model posted on this has curves, if a grown woman doesn't have curves of some sort she blatantly has an eating disorder which doesn't make her not a real woman but she's ill, it's not a point about being a 'real' woman or not it's about health after all and not having any curves whatsoever is not healthy. Puberty happens for a reason.

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  363. New reader, I found you cos one of my friends posted this on facebook because she resonated with what you had to say.
    The same way feminism is not the same as "man hating", protecting the self esteem of larger women is not the same thing as attacking the self esteem of smaller women. That should be obvious but some people just seem to love confrontation and picking sides. It may seem tribal, even natural to a certain extent but it's the source of so much frustration, fights, arguments and dare I say it even war – you'd think humans would have grown out of it by now.
    Thanks for being the voice of reason.

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  364. However this does not change the fact that a completely disproportional number of models are smaller and slimmer than average and although the persecution of slimmer women is not okay the damage being done to the self esteem of larger women is happening on a much bigger scale for alot longer.
    This does not make it okay to insult slimmer women though and Victoria's Secret is by no means the only culprit, they are reacting to a culture of slim models and a market full of men who have been told by the media to desire slimmer women, it's been going on so long now that it's hard to tell which is chicken and which is egg, are the magazines dictating men's desires or are men's desires dictating the magazines?
    Either way, it's not an accurate portrayal of the average woman or even an accurate portrayal of every mans desire. Alot of us like curves.

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  365. completely agree with you…a friend shared this on facebook.

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  366. This sounds super bitchy….but most people are overweight because they overeat. I think it's a choice people make….and if they're not happy with their body then change it. Maybe VS model body isn't obtainable but something close to a healthy weight is.

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  367. Lisa Luck wrote:

    I love this. I found you because some of my friends were sharing this post on Facebook.

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  368. Real women don't AND DO have curves.

    Loved the article. Thank you.

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  369. All woman should aim for a healthy body and not for a unhealthy models body(unless you want to be a model) but people are allowed to sacrifice themselves for what they want and that's it just like summon wrestlers eat to be really big. The real woman saying doesn't exist it's all but silly media ideas to try and make woman eat more because someone thinks its wrong to be too skinny.

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  370. Awesome post! Repping the skinny girls! I found this because someone shared in on facebook.

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  371. I tripped over your blog on facebook as one of my friends shared it to begin with 🙂

    And I just have a quick question as I do not watch the victoria secret shows, what type of models to they hire? Considering their most recent campaign I can imagine that they do not hire mentally ill models (thus the ones suffering from eating disorders) and if that is the case, I completely agree with you! And even if it's not I still agree with you that they are real women, yet I do not think that they should be presented on a runway show as they instead should be given care for their disorder.

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  372. A friend of mine shared this article on FB, and I absolutely love it! I'm a heavier-set girl. I've been culturally trained to envy, idolize, admire, loathe, etc. a certain aesthetic body type. I struggle every day to fight what has been so ingrained in my mind, and some days I and I love that there has been such a cultural push to embrace women of all shapes and sizes, but I think that the argument you're making here really gets lost in the shuffle. In the fight to honor and love women who aren't built like models, people have begun to treat that subset as though they are somehow at fault for looking that way, as though they are not 'real people' because they happened to wind up looking a certain way that fit into a societal mold, because they work hard to keep their bodies in such good shape, or have to work hard to gain weight. in the end, everyone struggles with something, and it's such crap to think that someone who is 'magazine' beautiful doesn't have any problems in her life.

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  373. Ali Cook wrote:

    Just wanted to say what a well written rant! Oh, and I found your blog via a friend who posted this entry on her fb page. Don't know how she found it tho!) 🙂

    Published 12.31.13
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  374. Hi! Nice post. I'm glad someone said it but I'm really just commenting to let you know how your blog reached me. A friend of mine made it her status and I saw it in my feed. But I read in a prior comment that a VS Model posted it on her FB page. Congrats! It must feel great to get so much traffic. Keep it up!

    Published 12.31.13
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  375. facebook is a charm! thats how I found your blog 🙂 beautiful writing and rings so true! especially love that you say people without all the lady parts but identifying as a woman makes them women. Love it! I happen to be petite, and by that I mean shorter than a lot of people and not able to put on weight. People tell me to eat a sandwich all the time…it's funny how not funny it is. And my siblings are even thinner. In fact, we are all underweight, and it's a weird genetic thing. What can you do when people look at you with jealousy and you are trying to get out of that situation. Pretty ironic. Anyways Id like to think my sis and I are real women! thank you for the post 🙂

    Published 1.1.14
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  376. I know a few of those women who model for VS and one of the things I know is that they WORK their asses off…figuratively and literally. They eat right and are constantly in the gym, doing cardio, lifting weights, doing yoga. I used to weigh 230 lbs, now I keep myself right around 170, because I don't want to have health problems as I get older. It's true with obesity rates climbing out of control especially in children that the "fit" people of our society will soon be the minority, but its never right to criticize someone for they're hard work all because you're unwilling to put in the "work" yourself. I also agree that if an out of shape person tells me to eat something, I should be able to point out that clearly they've taken their own advice to heart…Thanks for this article

    Published 1.1.14
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  377. TOBFTL wrote:

    I found your blog because a friend on FB posted it. I like what you had to say and I get the message. We need to stop labeling women and trying to find ways to down each other so that we can feel better about ourselves. I admit I'm jealous of those gorgeous models who can rock a pair of panties like nobodys business. I WISH I was either genetically like that or that I had the resources and time (and willpower) to achieve that look. But I, like many others have to find peace and happiness in what God gave me and accept who I am so that I can find my inner beauty – because that is really what makes people beautiful on the outside. I definitely have reached an age where I don't down women for how they look. Honestly I'm more admiring than anything. The problem of wishing I could change myself is going to take a bit more work (I'm getting there slowly). I absolutely agree that real women are "real women" and it's not about your size or shape. Keep up the good writing – it's inspiring!

    Published 1.1.14
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  378. So you probably won't even see this.

    But I love your post so hard.

    Anyways I never understood why through high school and college super curvy girls thought it was okay to make comment like "wow you're like anorexic" or in general for ppl to hate on the skinny girl.

    I'm super skinny genetically…probably to a dangerous point because my metabolism is soooo fast that if I decide to skip a meal I lose like 3 lbs. So my 3 day stomach bug cost me about 15/20. Not healthy…or easy to handle.

    Anyways, thanks so eloquently and bluntly explaining why a curvy woman and a skinny woman are equal women.

    Published 1.1.14
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  379. So you probably won't even see this.

    But I love your post so hard.

    Anyways I never understood why through high school and college super curvy girls thought it was okay to make comment like "wow you're like anorexic" or in general for ppl to hate on the skinny girl.

    I'm super skinny genetically…probably to a dangerous point because my metabolism is soooo fast that if I decide to skip a meal I lose like 3 lbs. So my 3 day stomach bug cost me about 15/20. Not healthy…or easy to handle.

    Anyways, thanks so eloquently and bluntly explaining why a curvy woman and a skinny woman are equal women.

    Published 1.1.14
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  380. I'm new I found this because my daughter shared it on Facebook.

    Published 1.1.14
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  381. Dakota wrote:

    This is fantastic! Perfect! You're also downright amazing for acknowledging women without vaginas. Genitals =/= gender!
    I found this article because someone posted it on Facebook, and I've since shared it because this is extremely important. I'm full figured (fat to some, been called it before, but w/e) and I shamefully admit to thinking skinny girls should "eat a sandwich" when I was younger. I've since grown out of that thinking, thankfully, and now know skinny shaming is JUST as bad as fat shaming! Shaming people for what they look like is wrong. Period.

    Published 1.1.14
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  382. kimohemgee wrote:

    When people see a skinny girl, and they automatically assume she's starving herself and is extremely unhealthy and tell her to EAT A BURGER. I'm not sure I understand how eating burgers promotes health. That is the LEAST healthy way to gain weight. And if you're only telling her to eat burgers because you're so overweight since that's all you do, then SHAME ON YOU.

    Published 1.2.14
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  383. I agree, I really like this topic… And from what I see, let women be women… I think big girls are beautiful, I also think thin girls are beautiful too… No matter what, we're all women of different sizes and colors…

    No need to bash on a girl being thin or big… If you have a problem with a girl being thin, then why is it that she can't be what she already is? If you have a problem with a girl being big, then why is it that she can't be what she already is?

    I used to be on the heavy side for a tiny person (4'11.5), family and friends would always tell me that I was too big… And after losing over 20 lbs, they complain that I'm too skinny that I need to start eating… I even lost friends on the way JUST BECAUSE of how much body fat I've lost from constant workouts…

    I learned from that, that an individual can never please everybody… So don't change yourself because people complain.. Do what you want to~ If you're big, work for that sexy body… If you're thin, put those muscles to work… There's a huge difference between being SKINNY and being FIT…

    Published 1.2.14
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  384. Sent this way via the FatPeopleStories Reddit. I'm certain that will lower some people's default opinion of me, but I think I can learn to live with that. That said, I enjoyed reading your rant. Some of your points I disagreed with out of personal preferences, but for the most part I agree with what you said.

    Anyway, I have several questions, not least of which is 'Why are women so cruel to each other?' I mean sure, guys say a lot of things to one another that could easily be taken as offensive but generally are not. For example, from my perspective: short, tall, skinny, fat, etc are not insults, they're adjectives and I think that taking offense at descriptive words that lack emphasis is just fishing for a reason to be offended.

    This reminds me of a link I received on my FB wall to a screenshot of a 'plus-size' model with a great figure and a bunch of people freaking out at the "model industry" -as though it or any industry, let alone corporation, is some kind of hive mind- for having standards that would result in a woman having a body that met the common standards for beauty being referred to as 'plus-size'. Never mind that the model in question was 6'2, which while not a flaw, is still over the average height for adults of both genders in the U.S. Which means that like it or not, she has to be treated as a larger person, even given the ideal proportions she had.

    I think the problem with modern society is that people are too sensitive about the wrong things. I would like to see a lot fewer complaints, and a lot more solutions. Also, I am of the personal opinion that concern over the media's idea of the standards of beauty should take far lower priority than real problems.

    That said, I feel that everyone has as much right to their preferences as they do to their body types. And contrary to assertions by HAES, TiTP, and other false 'body positivity' organizations, web sites and their proponents, a person's sexual preferences are not the result of brainwashing by society and media. If that were the case, there would be no such thing as kinks.

    Published 1.2.14
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  385. May I start by saying I am convinced we are long lost sisters after reading through your blog!
    A friend of mine shared this on facebook and after being consistently harassed that I should gain weight im glad someone can get the point across!
    your blog is perfect and you definitely have a new fan!

    Published 1.2.14
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  386. May I start by saying I am convinced we are long lost sisters after reading through your blog!
    A friend of mine shared this on facebook and after being consistently harassed that I should gain weight im glad someone can get the point across!
    your blog is perfect and you definitely have a new fan!

    Published 1.2.14
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  387. Clari wrote:

    Thank you! I am thin and I just live my life. I eat everything I want but I work out 3x a week and do Yoga 5x a week, because I just love exercising. I am so tired of bashing of me and other women.

    Published 1.2.14
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  388. Love this! I had multiple friends post this on Facebook and decided to read it.

    Published 1.2.14
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  389. Love this! I found this on Facebook, one of my friends had posted this and it intrigued me. I love your message! Thank you for bringing this up!

    Published 1.2.14
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  390. It bothers me that most commenters are continuing to barrage the models instead of the company. The problem is not the models, it's the fact that society won't accept a size 14 is just as beautiful as a size 0. I am naturally a size 00. After speaking with friends who are size 6 and up (which I admit is not a very big size, but in society's eyes is), we found that I was bullied more harshly and longer than the others were. The problem? People refuse to accept that skinny shaming is a real thing. Reading this, I teared up because I felt like for once I am not a freak of nature. There are only a handful of friends who don't think I have an eating disorder only because they see me eat all of the time. While I agree vehemently that big women need more representation, I don't think the skinny girls should be shunted to the edges either. Just because the ideals are being represented to accommodate the desires of the masses doesn't mean that every model is in the wrong. Companies go with what their marketing finds to be the biggest ideal and VS has the largest market with teenagers and young women. The fads for this age group? Dieting and thinness. It is a problem, but the masses need to create the change first before companies will follow. VS is a compliant organization and if people really work for the change, it may happen sooner than other groups. I think this was a very well written post, especially the beginning about identifying as woman. To the others who disagree, it is your own opinion and I respect that, just as I would imagine you should respect all other posters.

    Published 1.3.14
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  391. Hallie wrote:

    I don't usually comment on blog posts I disagree with but the author here is completely missing the point and oversimplifying the real issue here. I agree with the author that name calling and comments about weight are NEVER acceptable and anyone who calls these women "disgusting" is clearly wrong. The real issue; however, is much more complicated: The media and fashion industry employs women who are professionals. What does that mean? It is literally their life's work to conform to the standards of their industry. Just as I attend webinars and read articles to stay up-to-date on marketing trends, these ladies keep to strict diets and work out to stay thin. They are women in a profession just as I am. Yes, they are real women and yes, some women in the world who are not professional models are also very petite. HOWEVER, studies show that the average American woman is 5'6 and about 160 pounds. The media and fashion industry (two things that pervade almost every aspect of female life and have a profound impact on developing young women) perpetuate an IMPOSSIBLE standard for THE MAJORITY of women. I am thin, I work out, and I eat healthy but I will never be 5'10, 120 pounds, and a size 4-6. At a size 12, I am still below average for an American woman (size 14). So the issue here is NOT that real women don't have curves. Some don't. The ISSUE IS these models present an impossible standard for the majority of the female population and the media promotes this standard in such a way that is unhealthy for the self esteem of many many women and girls. REAL WOMEN come in all shapes and sizes. Victoria Secret models and MOST other models come in ONE size. That's the point.

    BTW I found this on Facebook shared by a friend.

    Published 1.3.14
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  392. This article makes me sad. I am short and skinny and I have never taken hearing "real women have curves" as an insult. The idea that most women do not look like airbrushed victoria's secret models is not offensive it is a fact. Some women are small some are large. While these aren't the exact words, it is the general message. Being skinny has never had the same stigma attached to it as being overweight. It never has and never will. So for all the skinny folk complaining and playing victim, get over it. Women of all sizes are beautiful. That's all… Why does everybody gets some twisted joy out of shaming each other.

    Published 1.4.14
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  393. PREACH!!! I completely agree with everything you said. Btw, I found your article because a friend of mine posted it on Facebook. Love the article! 😀

    Published 1.4.14
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  394. Lol. Theyre victoria's secret angels

    Published 1.4.14
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  395. Kimi Barra wrote:

    This is a wonderful and very well-written blogpost. I agree with what you said, and though it irks me how men try dictate what a women should be like, it annoys me even more when a fellow woman is the one shaming other girls. I do think however, that you overlooked issues about healthy eating habits, because even if you were born with a certain body type, I do think it is your responsibility to keep yourself healthy. Thanks for the wise words though! 🙂

    -Kimi of the Geeky Chiquitas
    http://www.geekychiquitas.blogspot.com

    Published 1.4.14
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  396. Kimi Barra wrote:

    Oh and I saw this blog post on Facebook 🙂

    I, however, have always been called "fat" so this is my story too: http://geekychiquitas.blogspot.com/2013/12/for-anyone-who-has-ever-been-called_23.html?m=1

    -Kimi of the Geeky Chiquitas
    http://Www.geekychiquitas.blogspot.com

    Published 1.4.14
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  397. I have tot admit that i like the real woman have curves trend. But that's only because I see girls with amazing bodies being afraid to enjoy their meal.

    That being said, I'm a relatively thin guy. YES THIS IS A PROBLEM FOR US AS WELL. I can eat anything I want, it just won't show anywhere on the outside of my body. And for a long time I was told that I should eat more. I always reply with a playful but harsh commented about a physical trait someone can't do anything about, because it felt so ignorant.

    Anyway, I think the real woman movement comes out of good hearts. It should however be something in the line of 'nice people don't judge, too much'. Because I still think that you have a responsibility to talk about weight/health when you are clearly seeing someone is on a bad path for quite some time.

    I saw a link shared to your blog on Facebook, the title was catchy so I clicked. 😉 It was a good read, keep up the writing.

    Published 1.4.14
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  398. Adding one thing to my post above, because I just read something in the comments.

    Supposedly us guys push this thin image upon girls. That is just silly, for so many reasons I can't leave it unturned.

    – Me and possibly many other guys have told girls that it doesn't matter. They don't listen very well.
    – The media is supporting the thin thing much more.
    – Girls are in my own experience somewhat competitive with other girls, I think that is the biggest problem here.
    – If one person from the opposite sex does something, don't put this on the whole sex. People are still individuals that make their own choices.
    -I for one have never heard a man talk bad about a girl with some curves.

    Published 1.4.14
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  399. I would agree with the argument that all women are "real women" as are those that associate themselves with the female gender. But as an anthropologist can we stop using the word "real"? The word itself was constructed to segregate what a woman looks like to what she should look like.
    I completely understand your argument and the shaming we put on each other. But please stop using the word "real". We know that we are real because we breath air and make self conscience decisions…sometimes.
    Although I do not agree with shaming someone for their outward appearance I understand why people and society are now pushing for a curvy female image. The stresses men and women take on to look a certain way and fit into clothing a certain way is effected by their weight. Giving the curvy woman a positive image allows for less stress, at least thats what I believe its intentions WERE.
    But now those that are not curvy are left out to model what image?
    The message should not be about being skinny or fat but accepting yourself and loving yourself for being the man or woman you are.

    Published 1.4.14
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  400. wurlyme wrote:

    I am a new reader and I found your article through a post from Instagram.
    I love your article. Makes complete sense. We are all real woman regardless and it's great if we workout and want to look fit or be fit. As long as we are doing it for ourselves and not for being under the pressure to look thin because of society.
    Marcie
    From Los Angeles Ca

    Published 1.4.14
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  401. wurlyme wrote:

    I am a new reader and I found your article through a post from Instagram.
    I love your article. Makes complete sense. We are all real woman regardless and it's great if we workout and want to look fit or be fit. As long as we are doing it for ourselves and not for being under the pressure to look thin because of society.
    Marcie
    From Los Angeles Ca

    Published 1.4.14
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  402. I agree with this article. I don't think its right to shame anyone for their body type…whether they are fat or thin. They know what they look like. Would be nice if instead of saying things like "go eat a sandwich" or "get off the couch" to people…we just found the attractive things on other people and pointed them out. Its nice to be nice. We need to stop attacking others for the way they look…which by the way has nothing to do with their character.

    Published 1.4.14
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  403. I am all about being healthy, as long as you are healthy who cares how big or small you are. My best friend is a model and I know for a fact that they have standards on being too skinny. Yes they work out and eat healthy, but depending On your height etc. you have to have a certain BMI.

    Published 1.4.14
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  404. I am a huge proponent for women being supportive of one another. We should not fat shame, skinny shame, slut shame or prude shame each other. It's so wrong. I really appreciate this viewpoint, but I'd also like to point out that women with curves find the need to stand up for themselves with movements such as "real women have curves" because of out society and the media industry. We are dominated in America by white and fit people (usually men) so those who do not fit in that category feel the need to stand up for themselves. As a woman with curves I have been someone who pointed out that models should eat more burgers, but that's just because I grew up thinking that my body is not the worlds version of beautiful. If models really modeled real women they would be all sorts of shapes, sizes and ethnicities. I think your blog is important in pointing out that all women deserve to be represented. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
    (I found out of your blog because a friend posted it on Facebook btw!)

    Published 1.4.14
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  405. Love it! Love it! I am the proud mother of a 17 yr old daughter. I've told her, and all her friends since they were old enough to listen, "Every girl and woman has her own beauty, and the joy of finding it new every day, 'cause it's a moving target." Today I am pleased to know these beautiful young women, different shapes, sizes, colors… and each so pretty, pretty! Not a pair in the bunch, confident, independent and settled.

    Published 1.4.14
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  406. Mallipop wrote:

    Love this honest response to "what is a real woman". (This article was shared on FB.)

    Published 1.4.14
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  407. Sarah Bahr wrote:

    Yes! I happen to be 5'6" and 101 lbs. According to 'ideal weight' calculations, I am 20lbs underweight. I get a LOT of comments about my weight. Seriously. It's never ok to comment about weight to someone who's average to over-weight, but because I'm skinny its suddenly OK. I feel this constant need to defend myself and my health: I AM healthy. I have always been skinny, even as a very young child. My pediatrician did regular nutritional checks because I was a vegetarian and guess what? I was never malnourished. I never came up short on ANY measure of nutrition or health. My doctor repeatedly told my family: "Don't worry about her weight. She's completely healthy. If she needs more weight, she'll gain it naturally." I never attempted to be skinny. Ever. I have always eaten whatever I wanted and as much of it as I wanted. It just so happens that some quirk of my biology means that I can eat an entire cheesecake by myself and not gain weight. My mother was THE EXACT SAME WAY. But I get comments all the time. Does anyone think I'm actually flattered when I'm told that I 'have no hips' and 'look anorexic'? Guess what: I'm not. It's really not ok to tell me I look sick because I'm rail thin or comment that I have no curves. On the whole, I'm totally fine with the way I look. But sometimes I do look in the mirror and feel less feminine because I don't have curves. It's not OK for us to shame people because they struggle with being overweight – but neither is it OK for people to make me feel like I am not feminine because I don't have hips or a bustline. Ultimately, I know it is up to me to not let it get to me. But sometimes I feel like I can't say anything about weight and body image because people discredit or attack what I say – as if being skinny means I have no concept or right to talk about body issues.

    Published 1.4.14
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  408. Jan C. wrote:

    I found you because my beautiful, tall and skinny niece shared your post on FB. I imagine you've gotten so much traffic because this is a great post. You've perfectly articulated something I've felt that I couldn't begin to even put my finger on. Thanks for this refreshing post!

    Published 1.4.14
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  409. I'm a new reader and I found this because it's been shared on my facebook a lot by models, photographers & makeup artists 🙂

    Published 1.5.14
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  410. I'm highly impressed by this post 🙂 I don't think I've ever seen anyone defend ALL sizes of women before. Very refreshing read, thank you.

    (I found this through a friend on facebook)

    Published 1.5.14
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  411. Peyton sXe wrote:

    The only objection I have to this article is that you felt the need to make these two separate sentences:

    "By being born with a vagina, continuing to breathe, and identifying as a woman, you are, in fact, a real woman.

    I'll even go further. Even if you weren't born with a vagina, and you identify as a woman, you are a real woman."

    You could have easily said this in a way that didn't intentionally distinguish transpeople.

    Otherwise, good article. I dated a girl for several years who was going through chemo, it really hurt her when someone would say something about needing to eat a cheeseburger.

    Published 1.5.14
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  412. Thank you for writing this! I was on a rant this morning too about being skinny. I am naturally skinny. Have been all my life. I eat a ton though! Like more than my husband most of time. I still don't gain weight (not like I haven't tried). The comments people make to me about being skinny is ridiculous. When I was prego with my child I even got comments. Apparently I didn't get as fat as they wanted. I had a 8lb 12oz baby… Apparently I gained enough. Now a year later I'm back in a zero. Not on purpose its just my body. I agree completely with just letting girls know that you are beautiful for being you. Skinny girls have feelings too. And I found your blog cause a friend posted it on Facebook.

    Published 1.6.14
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  413. Lindsey wrote:

    Hey, I'm a regular reader (except in the last few months, I took a blogging break and haven't read for a while), but a Facebook friend of mine shared your post. I was like, "Hey, I read that blog." That's how I found this post. Just thought I'd share =].

    Published 1.6.14
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  414. Amie wrote:

    Loved this. Found you through several shares on FB.

    Published 1.6.14
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  415. I totally hate the "real women have curves" BS. I have curves, always have, always will. Even at my skinniest, I still had curves. I get so angry when I see women who are overweight crying about how sexy "curves" are, when they are just plain fat and want an excuse, so they use the idea of being "curvy" to make up for them being overweight. This makes women who are actually curvy and healthy and in great shape and not overweight feel like we are fat because of these women who are overweight trying to clump real curvy women into the same category as them. Yes, curves are sexy, rolls of fat are not.

    Published 1.6.14
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  416. I'm a new reader and found this via a shared link on Facebook! Loved the blog post – raw honesty! These chicas need it! 🙂

    Published 1.6.14
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  417. I found this via Facebook posted by a friend…

    I think "real" is meant to refer to every day women not altered by either a computer program or the theater of beauty. Those women walking the cat walk still have their looks and bodies highly altered – from the pre-runway starvation and dehydration to the body make up and even the way high heels alter the look of a woman's leg. Cindy Crawford and Tyra Banks have both said they don't look like their "model" images. They are real women – their projections based on hours of prep work are not.

    Published 1.6.14
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  418. This is truly the best thing I have read on this subject. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I came across this on my Facebook. Oh and PPLAM!!!!! I'm always happy to see a sister doing something great!

    Published 1.6.14
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  419. Rachee wrote:

    My friend shared this on her Facebook page and I have to say that I LOVE this post! I have a thin daughter and she often gets comments directed at her for her size. Comments that are nice/nasty. Thank you for making me also acknowledge my own stereotypes and hangups.

    Published 1.6.14
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  420. Great post! You've put so eloquently into words what I'm always feeling when I get backhanded compliments about my lower-than-average (though still perfectly healthy) weight. I really appreciate this and I'd like to share it on my blog, with full credit, if that's alright with you. So extra traffic might come from there! My boyfriend actually send the link to me. I'm not sure where he got it from.

    Published 1.6.14
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  421. As a larger curvy woman, I think it is important to realize that ALL women, regardless of size, have curves. It's not about being fat or skinny, but about being healthy. Honestly, I think it comes from the fact that there have been tales for years of thin models who have starved themselves or gone to other great lengths to maintain a skinny figure. With that said: The only thing I shop at VS for is perfume. Why? Because VS doesn't cater to every woman of every size, which I think gets projected onto the models as they are the ones chosen to be the "faces" of VS for it's fashion shows. Is it right? No. Does it happen? Yes. Does it need to change? Yes.

    Published 1.6.14
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  422. Zaza wrote:

    I guest the actual point is not about thin (very thin, lean or skinny) women not being "real" women. The point is about the fashion industry solely promoting one type of woman (that is, the one who is thin). It's okay to be thin, and it's okay to be plump.
    But nowadays, you tend to find more thin women as fashion models. There ARE curvier models too, but not many. And that's a shame, because, as you said, there are so many different shapes of women ! Just as there are so many shapes of oak-trees, so many colours of cats, and so on. Diversity is normal. Standards are not (for living things).
    So I guess, when women comment saying "eat a sandwich", well, they are just making a (poorly designed) shortcut for "I would like to see curvier models for fashion too, not 95% of thin women".

    And I knew your blog from a friend's Facebook post (a French one. I'm French.)

    Published 1.6.14
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  423. Zaza wrote:

    And by the way it's also okay to be overweight. I mean, yes, it puts some stress onto your body, true. But it's not an offense for goodness sake !
    Yes, I prefer people (of any gender) to enjoy food, and to to use them as drugs, right.
    But no one need to apologize for being fat ! It's nonsense ! Does anyone need to apologize for being… Dunno… Red-headed, or for loving a singer that is out of fashion, or for collecting tea-towels ?

    And more. My dad is overweight, has always been. He eats the same as me (I weigh about 57kg, which should be something like 114pounds, I guess). So the problem is not even about his diet. He weights twice my weight and eats the same.
    I guess my mum would be happy if he was slimmer… But honestly, she doesn't care.
    I guess she didn't pause to reflect whether my dad was sexy or unsexy when she married him. She simply doesn't care about his shape, because it's unimportant to both of them. As he isn't a fireman or an athlete, there is no requirement for him to be slim. So, really, who cares ?

    Eating sensibly is a good thing if you do it out of love for yourself (to help your body for example). If you do it out of mere fear of being unsexy, you put a very negative energy into your effort. So don't. Especially if your spontaneous way of thinking is "shape doesn't matter much to me".

    Published 1.6.14
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  424. Jess Keys wrote:

    THANK YOU for writing this! Someone needed to say it! Your blog is great and you're hilarious. And to answer your question, this just popped up on my mini feed on facebook. Definitely a follower now though!

    Jess
    Thegoldengirlblog.com

    Published 1.7.14
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  425. A Facebook friend shared it. Then I shared it. Good for you on getting this much traffic. It's a great point to be made. Thank you.

    Published 1.7.14
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  426. it bothers me that for the sake of self-esteem, which should be boosted with a healthy life style and a good self worth, we are letting young girls think obesity is the norm. No one should ever feel like less of a person for the way that they look or how much fat we have. But if we look at the size of people, we have to face the facts. What was once a medium is now considered a small, so medium sized women (who are beautiful as all women are) feel like a small. I am not an extremely thin girl, I'm not overweight but I'm certainly not one of the girls who can just eat and eat with no consequence. I sometimes cannot find a size that fits. I'm usually a small and I find myself, in some stores, being an xs or just not finding my size. The more we accept this idea that fat is normal the more large our society will get, and not only will girls feel bad about themselves but they will get increasingly unhealthy. Health is important and we can't just pretend that unhealthy lifestyles are acceptable. Weight has nothing to do with your worth as a women or a person. Every women and every size is gorgeous. But not every size is healthy and we can't keep shaming women who look "too skinny" because our size as a culture is growing.

    Published 1.7.14
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  427. So refreshing to have somebody with the correct point of view. A friend of mine posted this on facebook. The title alone is very intriguing.

    Published 1.7.14
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  428. As a skinny woman all my life I completely agree. As people now a days have harsh criticisms about looks few have tried to not say "fat" and even fewer realize that "too skinny" can hurt too. They might think it's some sort of compliment in disguise but if they really think about what they are saying, they are saying we aren't of the 'norm'.

    Published 1.7.14
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  429. joe nuss wrote:

    Hey Tyler, found your blog from a friend's fb status.

    Really quickly, all women/ladies have curves. Being a weekend race car fanatic – you have your low speed "curves" and then you have your high speed "curves". Either way, they're the best parts of any road course ask any road racing enthusiast.

    The whole "eat a sandwich" comment – "what's good for the goose is good for the gander."

    You know, if God came up to any of us right now and said in His Reverb ridden, Grand Canyon, Gandalf-esque voice "If I were to give you a choice, which would you choose: this trim, well sculpted but not overly cut physique that's soft and hard in all the right places OR this chubby, over weight but not obese physique that bulges here and there if you wear a form fitting blouse? Oh, and no matter how much you eat (a little or a lot) you'll never gain or lose weight. You'll be stuck with this body the rest of your life."

    If we're all being honest, I'd say we'd all pick the former but some of us would pick the latter only to forward our pride.

    Jonas V.
    Hou, TX

    Published 1.7.14
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  430. Lady C wrote:

    As a MODEL! THANKYOU!!! From the bottom of my heart! Even models are different sizes now I'm not a twig and I'm not full figured! And after a shoot I go for my ritual Burger King!!!!! This post was amazing thank you for the permission to call someone a fat ass upon receival of the "go eat a sandwich" comment.
    I saw this shared on Fb. Would mean the world to me of you checked out my blog too.
    http://Www.carolynnescoffield.com
    Thanks again for your wonderful contribution

    Published 1.7.14
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  431. Etoria wrote:

    I agreed with you on everything EXCEPT saying the Victoria Secret models are "some of the most beautiful women in the world." Is this statement not just as damaging as telling a skinny woman she needs to eat or a fat woman she needs to lose weight?

    "Most Beautiful" implies "prettier than others," which even though is technically relative and subjective (beauty is in the eye of the beholder), could tell young girls they should aspire to be like the VS Angels, rather than just be themselves and know they are beautiful just the way they are.

    If we're going to go on a tear about what we say about women's appearance and how it can be hurtful to women and girls' self esteem, let's also be more careful with our word selection when it comes to describing beauty no?

    Published 1.7.14
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  432. Saw this on facebook.

    THANK YOU SO MUCH!
    I am so glad to see im not the only person who feels this way.
    This whole 'fat shaming' phenomenon is utter B.S if skinny is ok, fat is ok.

    People just dont think outside the box.

    I love this article so much, people are very often so horrible if you weigh less than them and for some reason its ok?

    This is the best thig ive ever read to boost my self esteem

    This is a really important message thank you.

    xxx

    Published 1.7.14
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  433. Dannie wrote:

    Beautiful write up!
    Seen this shared on Facebook, also shared to my Facebook page *** KOKO ASSIST ***** a page for women/ health/ fitness/ fashion/ tips/ edvice/ motivation/

    loved your rant so true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Published 1.7.14
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  434. I think that it would be helpful if via media and marketing, we were exposed to a wider (teehee) variety of body types and then there might be less of an us VS. them type of occurrence. I saw an article about some department store in the UK that had a catalogue with different shaped models and if that were to happen more frequently, then we could all look at each other and see that our differences are really our strengths.

    As a curvy woman with a generous chest, I've had flat-chested women comment that they envied me, when in reality I envied their position. How sad is that? Why not say, hey, I rock, you rock!

    I found your post on FB because someone shared it. 🙂

    Published 1.7.14
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  435. Thank you! Someone needed to say that.
    How did I find you? A friend posted your post on facebook, it showed up in my newsfeed and I got curious.

    Published 1.7.14
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  436. I agree 100% and talk to my 12 year old daughter regularly about how we're all different shapes and sizes. There is no one "right" shape/size, it's about being healthy and taking care of yourself.

    I found you through a Facebook post

    Published 1.7.14
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  437. Wow read my mind. I have been thin my entire life and I see all these women posting the "real women have curves" memes constantly and it's like.. Soooo you don't consider me to be a real woman? Just because I wear 24 jeans and barely fill a B-cup? And let's not get started on the comments I get at holiday dinners and other events. Other women bluntly demanding I eat more dessert because I need to "put some meat on those bones".

    Ps: someone sent this to me on Facebook

    Published 1.7.14
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  438. There isn't anything "wrong" with having the body type the models have. What IS wrong is how they use ONLY that body type to portray beauty. Women are angry because their own body types are thought to be unworthy of being shown off on a runway,they don't feel like all of us are being represented equally.Think about it, VS only uses ONE body type to represent their company, a body type that to the rest of us is unattainable and unhealthy. We are brainwashed into thinking the only way to be beautiful is to be extremely tall and thin. They use that image of "perfection" to give us something to strive for, to advertise what type of woman we could be if we only buy their product. I am a big fan of victorias secret, and their models are gorgeous, but I have to admit I disagree with their marketing techniques. It isn't worth making everyone who isn't 6 feet tall and 90lbs feel bad. Until they start using other body types to advertise, they really are saying "you aren't good enough as you are"

    Published 1.8.14
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  439. Agree. I think they make a big deal because of the whole have to be skinny to model thing going around and the supposedly perception of girls wanting to be perfect like that. The fact that more curvy people were feeling like the curves weren t appreciated. I think they are more and more appreciated and equal and that no specific thing defines beauty. I do think society has grown on the point and now going the other way, like you say. I have no curves and wish I had some. Bigger butt! Haha. And to get told to get meat on your bones is not a nice thing to hear. If you feel good about yourself, you are beautiful. It takes all kind of lines to make a great picture. No two the same yet equally beautiful.
    Don t know if I made sense haha. Hope I do

    Published 1.8.14
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  440. jag0922 wrote:

    I absolutely agree that Real Women come in all shapes and sizes and we need to accept that!

    HOWEVER, that said….c'mon people! If you can't see the 'fake boobs' in many of these models, then shame, shame! FAKE is NOT REAL! That's my only beef – don't say they are 'real women' because they have small butts, waists, etc. and obviously fake boobs! FAKE IS FAKE. This is what we need to get away from. The need to 'alter' your body so you feel beautiful and accepted!

    Published 1.8.14
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  441. I enjoyed this so much! I have never read your blog! But now i'm considering actually starting to read your blog on the regular! What you wrote was so true! And i'm glad someone finally had the guts to say that! I'm skinny and my whole life people tell me to gain weight. But as soon as i flip the tables and say it's like telling them not to be fat, theres all of a sudden a problem with that. I think more women need to read this blog! You have some good wisdom to share!
    Thanks for writing! 😀

    Published 1.8.14
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  442. A family member on facebook shared your post, and since this whole real women have curves movement has been a thorn in my side for a while I HAD to check it out! I completely agree that there really is no basis for any " average " or " normal" , and personally I think that promoting being "curvy" is just as likely to become an excuse for obesity as "thin is in" was for anorexia/bulimia. As you said eating disorders rarely have anything to do with eating, most of the time it isn't even about looking the way the individual wants or thinks they should and more about what they think will gain them acceptance or provide them comfort in whatever way they can find. I'm gonna stop now before this becomes a blog of its own, but thankyou for addressing this from the un popular side of things!

    Published 1.8.14
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  443. I stumbled across this blog on Facebook and just wanted to say thank you. I'm 20 years old, and I weigh about 100lbs, simply due to genetics, and a fast metabolism. It's lovely to hear a voice that doesn't think women like me are fake, sickly, or disgusting. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and each is beautiful!

    Published 1.8.14
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  444. Someone posted your article on facebook, so I read it. =D

    Published 1.8.14
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  445. I loved this! Found this because my old art teacher in Calgary shared this on Facebook, I currently live in Norway. This is perfect, thank you.

    Published 1.8.14
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  446. I found this post of yours on FB- Totally agree. I have been very thin, medium and over-weight and i was always a woman. I did eat less when I was thin but I also ate really good food and exercised more- and was healthy even when I was 5'7"and 120 lbs.

    Published 1.8.14
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  447. Marci wrote:

    As a skinny girl, I completely agree. I have made fun of just as much as overweight girls because I didn't have boobs or curves.
    Found you through Facebook share!

    Published 1.8.14
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  448. Unknown wrote:

    Found your article on Facebook and loved it. However I got quite upset reading some of the negative comments. Why do so many women bad mouth models but no one ever bad mouths Beyoncé or a triathlon runner both of whom would see dietician so have personal trainers, diet and just generally work had to be good at what they do? I can guarantee you that a triathlon runner or Beyoncé doubles their training and changes their diet before a big show or a race. So why is it only models who cop a bad rep for this? Trashy magazines aren't all truth people! Don't think you know what goes on behind the scenes of a fashion show just because you have a subscription to us weekly. It's called exaggeration. Have some respect for women who work extremely hard to be good at what they do to make a living.

    Published 1.8.14
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  449. as a trans woman, i couldnt agree with you more, hon. we come in all shapes and sizes.

    and as far as how i found you, it's been making the rounds on facebook and on reddit.

    you're internet famous now 😉

    Published 1.8.14
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  450. Great post, thanks for articulating the bodysnarking gulf of difference between fat-shaming and thin-shaming.

    Also, I saw this article linked by a facebook friend. This is my first time on your site.

    Published 1.9.14
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  451. Great post, thanks for articulating the bodysnarking gulf of difference between fat-shaming and thin-shaming.

    Also, I saw this article linked by a facebook friend. This is my first time on your site.

    Published 1.9.14
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  452. Adriana wrote:

    my sister knows me very well and forwarded me the link to this article. i must say, i very much enjoyed it. i myself am one of those "skinny" women and i have been all my life. i can't stand the constant "men like curves/meat & dogs like bones" bullshit constantly posted on fb. i have been dying to comment on all those pictures and stauts but then im the one being offensive so im glad you put it out there and this article has been shared with my entire fb population with the following quote: " If you're a woman who thinks it's okay to tell a skinny woman that she needs to eat a sandwich, I hope you don't mind when that skinny woman tells you that you're a fat ass. Because that's exactly the sort of shaming you're giving her."(..haha love it) im glad im on the only one!

    Published 1.9.14
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  453. Hey, totally agree with you, I've never read your blog, here's where i found it, someone posted a link to your blog to this post on fb and got many likes.

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=574215845956109&set=a.170805802963784.39347.166337376743960&type=1&theater

    Published 1.10.14
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  454. Estelle wrote:

    I am a new reader, found this through Facebook.
    I agree that women with or without curves are real women. I believe the point is that these models don't starve themselves to be "skinny" because of a show or that they can't be a model anymore when they don't.

    You should not change your body because others don't like it! You should do it for yourself. As long as you are happy with the way you look.

    Published 1.10.14
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  455. Interesting! Lots of "real women" in my life on both sides of the spectrum. I like your point about "eat a sandwich vs. fat ass" – it is the exact sort of shaming.

    This was posted in my facebook feed as something a friend shared.

    Published 1.10.14
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  456. I'm one of the few guys posting but yeah, I got here through a link on a friend's Facebook page.

    My 2cents are short and sweet. One should simply focus on accepting themselves as they are, and where possible even appreciating themselves as they are.

    Other people shouldn't be a concern. No need to judge others, and no need to pay attention to their opinions. Just do you, and be happy with who you are.

    Everybody has a story, everybody is trying their best, everybody is creating their experiences… and we should all live and let live.

    over and out.

    Published 1.10.14
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  457. My younger brother had this posted on his FB page. <3

    Published 1.10.14
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  458. Chiming in to a) let you know how I found you… I write a blog at http://www.vaginanewsnetwork.com, and one of my readers pointed me to your post, and b) to say AMEN. Whether it's regarding the subject of body shape or anything else (perhaps especially trans-gender issues,) references to "real women" or "real men" make my skin crawl.

    Published 1.10.14
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  459. Ooooooh my gosh, YES. My friends and I were just talking about this! They were both like "I think the V. S. Fashion Show is horrible. It encourages girls to become obsessed with being skinny." And I was like No! These models are FIT. They workout a lot. They go through a lot of work to look that good. But they certainly don't starve themselves. It makes me mad when people are like "they're obviously anorexic." Like EXCUSE ME? They're definitely not anorexic. I think these models are beautiful. People need to learn that sometimes, in the process of trying to build up bigger girls, they often put down naturally slim girls. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. No need to worry about body image so much!

    Published 1.11.14
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  460. The only ones who are saying that these girls should "eat a sandwich" are the ones who are too fat and lazy to get off their couch. They are just jealous because they are fat and they see skinny girls on TV.

    Published 1.11.14
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  461. Ella03 wrote:

    New reader… it seems this article struck a chord and people are sharing it on Facebook!

    Published 1.11.14
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  462. Koskan wrote:

    Hey, thank you for a great post, and putting an issue like this into words. I saw a link to this post on a discussion on facebook, and I think it's a great post. I don't understand why we feel the need to tell others how they should or shouldn't be. Everone's different, so why try to create this one "true" image of what a "real woman" looks like? I think it is our individuality that makes us beautiful. I have something nobody else has, and that's what makes me special. Some people just don't see that. Whats worse is that a lot of those people work in media, promoting pictures that are more lies than truth, helping creating this image. If I get a daughter one day, I would hate for her to grow up, thinking that she isn't good enough just the way she is.

    Published 1.11.14
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  463. Harmony wrote:

    I'm a new reader and a good friend shared this post on Facebook. Oh my goodness. This post almost made me cry. I'm 18, 5' tall and I weigh 78 pounds. I eat more than my fiancé some days and it's nearly impossible for me to gain weight. I wear a size 10 jeans in the kids section. For years and years I've been told I'm sickly. One day in high school I chose not to eat lunch one day and got turned into the nurse for being "anorexic". People would try and force feed me food because I was small. My stomach has always been as flat as cement, some men can almost wrap their hands around my waist and touch fingers, I can wrap my hands around my mid thighs and touch. It's always always been that way. I've gone to doctors, been on mass gainers, used weight training programs and so much more in an attempt to just gain 10 pounds. I've had self esteem issues for years. It's hard when I walk with my fiancé and get asked if I'm his younger sister or get told I look like I'm twelve. I nanny for a living and my 11 year old is bigger than I am. I often get looked at like I'm an alien. People don't take me serious in job interviews. It hurts honestly. I never asked to be small. I never asked for a super high working metabolism. I eat. I'm just small and thank you for posting this. It really hit home for me. Just because I'm small and curveless doesn't mean I'm not a real woman.

    Published 1.12.14
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  464. Harmony wrote:

    I'm a new reader and a good friend shared this post on Facebook. Oh my goodness. This post almost made me cry. I'm 18, 5' tall and I weigh 78 pounds. I eat more than my fiancé some days and it's nearly impossible for me to gain weight. I wear a size 10 jeans in the kids section. For years and years I've been told I'm sickly. One day in high school I chose not to eat lunch one day and got turned into the nurse for being "anorexic". People would try and force feed me food because I was small. My stomach has always been as flat as cement, some men can almost wrap their hands around my waist and touch fingers, I can wrap my hands around my mid thighs and touch. It's always always been that way. I've gone to doctors, been on mass gainers, used weight training programs and so much more in an attempt to just gain 10 pounds. I've had self esteem issues for years. It's hard when I walk with my fiancé and get asked if I'm his younger sister or get told I look like I'm twelve. I nanny for a living and my 11 year old is bigger than I am. I often get looked at like I'm an alien. People don't take me serious in job interviews. It hurts honestly. I never asked to be small. I never asked for a super high working metabolism. I eat. I'm just small and thank you for posting this. It really hit home for me. Just because I'm small and curveless doesn't mean I'm not a real woman.

    Published 1.12.14
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  465. Alexa wrote:

    I'm a new reader and saw this on a facebook friends wall! I love this. It is so sad that this is the case in today's society! Thank you, thank you for sharing!

    writteninthemidst.blogspot.com

    Published 1.12.14
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  466. I meant to leave a comment, but I was so passionate about this topic that I ended up writing a response post!

    http://www.katiebennettphoto.com/1/post/2014/01/a-reply-to-real-women-dont-have-curves.html

    I hope you find some interesting additions to the conversation. I'm glad you inspired me to think about this issue.

    Published 1.13.14
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  467. Karen wrote:

    New reader.. my cousin posted this on her facebook page.

    First off, I want to say that this article is great and I really enjoyed it because this is not something I ever really thought about… genes being responsible for one's thinness as well as fatness. But it's really quite simple… genes being (at least partially) responsible for weight in general. Common sense really. If one can use genes as a scapegoat for being overweight, it must be able to go the other way as well. While I am not overweight myself, I will definitely not be telling anyone to eat cake or have a sandwich ever again.

    That being said.. I would like to point out that there is a difference between healthy skinny and unhealthy skinny. I'm not saying it's okay to shame unhealthy skinny people by any means, but perhaps that it's okay to point out the difference to one's kids in private.

    Published 1.13.14
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  468. Bobbye wrote:

    Thank you so much for this rant! I am 5’6” and have weighed 124 since I was a sophomore in high school I’m nearly 30 now and still have jeans from 10 years ago, plus I have a baby and people always tell me to eat a burger. Don’t be jelly that I don’t have to work out all the time and count calories. I’m just shaped this way. I can’t help I got blessed with the best metabolism God could offer. But that makes me less of a “Woman”? So annoying… Once again thank you for the reminder that not everyone has to work hard at being thin! And shouldn’t be judged for it! 🙂

    Published 1.14.14
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  469. I just want to be me and I just want to feel good. I think you're totally right, and awesome!

    Published 1.14.14
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  470. Mabet wrote:

    Very happy to have been linked this blog post. I'm impressed with how succinct and eloquent this message is. Not a usual reader, but found you through a link on FB that was posted in response to a Marilyn meme and her "real woman curves."

    Published 1.14.14
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  471. I LOVED this article. I found your blog from a girl I met on My Fitness Pal! What a lovely take on everything.

    Published 1.15.14
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  472. joetxel wrote:

    I think it would be unfair to say that criticizing a skinny girl is the same as criticizing a fat girl. The reason is that usually a fat girl is not like that by choice, she is trying hard to be skinny. Whereas the skinny girl a lot of times has worked hard to be that way or wants to stay that way.

    Published 1.28.14
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  473. Love this article! You can't assume anything about a persons health or lifestyle just by looking at them. I have always been thin without having to do much and many people I know are like this as well. I would love to see women with different body types as log as they're in good health. I'm guessing the modeling industry makes one sample size to cut expenses. These women won't get hired if they don't fit the clothes…kinda went to far maybe but that's essentially why they're all the same size. Bottom line…don't compare yourself to others and focus on the function your body provides, not solely the appearance.

    Published 1.29.14
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  474. Love this article! You can't assume anything about a persons health or lifestyle just by looking at them. I have always been thin without having to do much and many people I know are like this as well. I would love to see women with different body types as log as they're in good health. I'm guessing the modeling industry makes one sample size to cut expenses. These women won't get hired if they don't fit the clothes…kinda went to far maybe but that's essentially why they're all the same size. Bottom line…don't compare yourself to others and focus on the function your body provides, not solely the appearance.

    Published 1.29.14
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  475. 1st it isn't the too round/too small that I object to. It is the fact that our society finds it necessary to put this on TV at all. I have a daughter with an eating disorder, & I know although food is the choosen drug, it isn't about eating, yes self estimene. Curves, rounded, no curves, God made us all different, shame people can't accept it, like color, heights etc. But I don't care for the amount of things advertised & shown on TV anymore, seems there are no longer any values or limits.

    Published 1.30.14
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  476. I found this via a friend on Facebook, and I cannot say thank you enough! I'm a naturally thin woman and get so tired of hearing the "geez, eat a twinkie" comments when I eat all the time! Seriously, if eating could be considered a hobby, it would be mine. God blessed each and every woman with her own unique shape but, most importantly, her own unique talents. This is what defines a real woman. If she is able to share her talents, perspective, and individuality with the world in order to make it a better place, then she is a real woman. Thank you for your post!

    Published 2.5.14
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  477. aysy wrote:

    hey, i found this link on a fotomodels facebook page (she was my BFF, not anymore), i was curious of what was about, i read and started to think why other people are so disgusted, so envious on the girls. yes, they are beautiful, yes maybe they are skinny, or other may see them fat. the thing is everybody has a different taste, a different way of seeing things there will always be negative and positive thinking. i am not a fotomodel, i am not perfect nor the girls from the show, but i am happy for me, that i am healthy and in one piece and happy for the girls from Victoria's Show. we should enjoy our time, use it wise not waste it on foolish comment, if you don't like it don't look at it

    Published 2.12.14
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  478. Would love to hear people's opinion of my response! http://milylouise.wordpress.com

    Published 2.13.14
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  479. Liz O. wrote:

    Thank you for this article. My now 22-year-old daughter has always been thin. She takes after her dad. She eats like a horse, she's just thin and must have a high metabolism like her dad. I know she has had to endure her whole life having people telling her she needs to eat. While she was growing up I had to endure other adults telling me to "feed that girl!" Talk about insults! Not only is it insulting to my daughter, but I as a mother had to hear insensitive comments insinuating I wasn't feeding my child. I have always felt these comments are just as insensitive & insulting as telling someone they're fat. Again, thank you for your article.

    Published 2.19.14
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  480. Liz O. wrote:

    P.S. I learned of your article through my daughter who shared the link on her Facebook page.

    Published 2.19.14
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  481. Finally! I doubt you read these all, but if you manage to see this – know that it's so refreshing to hear you say it. One in every 50 of my Facebook posts is a sarcastic bitch about how there's no damn need to be so rude to skinny women, and constantly bolster larger women.

    How the media can spend all day shoving skinny women in the faces of us all, and then simultaneously run campaigns talking about how sexy curves are… well, that's worse than dispiriting for young women. It's downright confusing.

    Published 3.3.14
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  482. I'm a new reader and this is a really good blog, well written 🙂 always on the look out for new ones xx

    Published 3.3.14
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  483. KeyPad wrote:

    Great article. Found this via a model I once photographed sharing this along with her own comments on facebook.

    Published 3.3.14
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  484. I'm a new reader, I found this through Facebook a friend thought it would be useful to me.
    I had an eating disorder once and I realised that my size wasn't the thing affecting my happiness, my relationship with food still isn't great but I know that what size my jeans are doesn't affect how much I enjoy myself and life in general and anyone who thinks it does is sorely mistaken and I hope they realise that soon.

    Published 3.5.14
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  485. 100% in agreement. In fact, gave me inspiration to write my own piece. Don't worry, I linked you! "I don't want to hear the words 'You're Beautiful'"

    http://rosemaryofelephants.blogspot.kr/2014/03/i-dont-want-to-hear-words-youre.html

    Published 3.6.14
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  486. I whole-heatedly agree! I've always been very thin and I've had to endure rumors of people saying I suffered from eating disorders. (This was extremely inaccurate and people seemed to look over the fact that I ate normally.) I hate when I see posts about women who are thin aren't real women. Just that term makes me cringe. I just wish that we could accept each other as we are.

    Published 3.8.14
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  487. Sarah wrote:

    Thank you for this article! I’m 24 and have had a child so I’m not in the best of shapes. When I go out I always feel a little self conscious about my body appearance. I do not have large breasts, or a curvy waist or a big butt. I’m not skinny but im not large either. I resemble a rectangle in a way. It’s hard because so many women think a real women either had voluptuous curves or is a skinny model type. I am neither yet I am still a real women and have come to accept and love my body even without curves and even not being skinny. More people need to realize that there are more than 2 body types out there and that a women is a women no matter what her outward appearance may be. So again, thank you for this post. And I came across you by a Google search.

    Published 6.13.18
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  488. You’ll love this: I was wondering why sometimes I see in Facebook “so-and-so posted your post” while mostly “so-and-so shared your post”. So, I googled
    facebook “posted your post” “shared your post”

    This page came up 6th, and I got curious. 🙂

    Anyway, I’m glad I found this.

    Published 3.3.19
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  489. Tiko wrote:

    I googled the poem I Am Woman Of Distinction and there I saw this post somehow, in google photos. I saw Adriana’s pic with this title and found you there.

    P.s this sad things happen because no matter how much hating on models, everyone wants to be them. so the standard is still the same. (“real women have curves and let’s be curvy-fat” thingie is not convincing at all) everyone wants to look like a fckn supermodel. M too and it takes a lot of trying, fasting, work out – gain weight – work out – gain weight -lose weight and its a vicious circle. Therefore we sum up those shapes ate not normal-standard-real. and its true. This hating is caused by envy I guess. Everyone would love to be Cindy, everyone would make love to Cindy.

    Published 7.2.19
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