2.26.19

Three Things to Consider Before Swiping Up

You can’t swing your extensions without hitting the “Swipe Up” feature in Instagram Stories. From what I can tell, it’s a pretty handy feature to have if you want to link things, from articles to tank tops. It’s especially prevalent in the fashion influencer scene, allowing them to easily link their outfits. It’s definitely a temptation for me when I’m scrolling through Instagram when making the purchase is just an easy swipe away. There are a couple of things to consider, though, before you swipe up and buy from influencers.

Do I like this person? This is your number one threshold question. If you aren’t familiar with the term “hate follow,” allow me to introduce you. The hate follow is the schadenfreude* of follows. You follow because you can’t bear to not follow. This is the person who’s always lying about their eyelash extensions/Botox/thick hair (“totes my ethnicity” or “all credit to my skincare routine c/o whoeverthehellispayingmethisweek” or “pregnancy hair y’all!”). Or the person who’s constantly spilling tea on their ex-man/ex-friends/general contractor/esthetician/neighbor. Or the one with overly orangey filters whose mouth is always half open. The lying liars who lie. The scammers. The derailed trains. Everyone knows the type, and if you don’t follow at least one of them, ya’s fibbin.’ If you don’t like someone, you probably don’t want to contribute money to their wallets — just like if you didn’t support a small business owner in real life, you’d find another boutique. 

*confession: the only reason I know of/know how to spell “schadenfreude” is because of Avenue Q. I’m cultured, whatever.


Are our body types the similar?
 One of my favorite fashion influencers is Olivia Rink. She’s gorgeous, she’s kind, and she has impeccable taste and amazing photography. Clothes look incredible on her. Olivia is also 4’11 and weighs a little under 100 pounds. That makes me almost seven inches taller and about 35 pounds heavier. I only say that to say this: that sweater that is perfectly oversized on her may end up looking like Barbie clothes on me. On a similar note, the jumpsuit that looks fire on Chiara Ferragni (my favorite Amazonian tall-girl influencer) will most likely make me look like a block of cheese (only me? no? k.). Just make sure to hedge your expectations — everyone’s bodies are wildly varied, and clothing fits different on all of us!

Does this person have any idea what he/she is talking about? No shade, but if I’m looking for a great guide to what to pack in my hospital bag for having a baby, I’m not trusting an affiliate-linked post from a fashion influencer who is seven months pregnant with her first kid. Nor will I give much credence to workout wear recommendations from a person who has, over and over, stated how little she works out (but let’s be honest, if it’s athleisure, I’ll trust the gals who Story from their beds — they know leisure). The point is, make sure you trust your source. Don’t pick your personal trainer based on Instagram likes if they had poor-form squats, right?

Oh, and never trust anyone who started less than three months ago to sell you a “how to influence” program.

(that last bit was an extra tip from me to you. you’re very welcome.)

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