4.1.18

Weekend Update v.1; also, some Getting Older Introspection

Ah yes, a weekend update. That’s what we’ll call it. A rundown of my weekend shenanigans (in case y’all interested), and some links to things I’ve found during the week that you just might like. Plus anything else I feel like posting. #YOLO

All that said —

Happy Easter, little buddies! It’s 35 and raining here and ruining all of the babies’ egg hunting, 

I spent all last week in Houston. All of the flights going into DFW on Tuesday morning were grounded for weather, so I decided, in all of my infinite wisdom, that driving was the best option. Ho-leee moly, that’s a big drive. A big drive. It doesn’t help that about three and a half hours in, my check engine light came on and things got really a little shaky. By the grace of God, I was about a mile north of McAlester, Oklahoma, the biggest city on 69 until you hit Durant, right before the Texas border. I got to stop and hang out in an Oklahoma State-themed garage for about an hour while they switched out a spark plug and a coil. 

author’s note #1: if you are in need of a mechanic in McAlester, Oklahoma, check out Quality Automotive & Transmission. They are fantastic folks.

Once I got back on my way, I made it into Dallas to have a late lunch with my best friend, Reed. We have been inseparable since we met our freshman year at Oklahoma. He’s now a stylist extraordinaire at Forty Five Ten on Main in Dallas. We ate at the restaurant on the top floor called Mirador that made me feel like a southern socialite.

author’s note #2: I had a burrata and citrus salad with a poached egg that made me see the Lord. if you’re in Dallas, go get it.

While in Houston, I was able to visit with old friends, get some incredible food, and act like a little tourist. I saw NASA and Minute Maid Park, and I went down to Galveston to see some of my old teachers. To be honest, even though I was in Houston for the saddest of reasons, being able to stay a few days and take a sort of vacation from my normal life was exactly what I needed. When I got back at midnight on Friday, I was exhausted in my body, but reenergized in my soul. I spent all of yesterday in and out of bed, pausing only to eat twice (#duh)  and take a great bath, and then slept until ten this morning. I don’t have the Sunday Scaries, and I’m kicked back with sleepy pups, rain on the windows, and Jon Taffer on TV. Still a little tired, but in a hopeful way, and not in  dreading-tomorrow sort of way.

Anywho.

My birthday is this week. I’ll be thirty-four, but like I’ve said, via Instastories a few days ago, it hasn’t seemed like that big of a deal because I’ve been accidentally calling myself 34 for about six months now, but now, six days away, my mid-thirties are upon me. And maybe that’s what I’ve realized now, that time marches on, regardless of whether I choose to acknowledge it. Whether I’m present in my days, the days continue to pass. Come this Saturday at 6:00pm, I’ll begin my 35th revolution around the sun.

gag. omg, holy shit.

And I feel tired of wondering where the time went.

It feels like yesterday that I was turning 23 in St. Petersburg, or eating Cotton Candy at the Saddle Ranch. But it wasn’t; it was a decade ago, and outside of work accomplishments, it’s hard to put my finger on what I’ve accomplished personally. After doing some thinking on that looong drive back from Houston, I decided that part of the issue was that I’ve simply been less present in my own existence. I’ve managed to get passive with my own decisions because I’m distracted with the crap. 

And crap is all it is. I can let go of things I cannot change, but I’ll change what I can, so to that end, I decided that my birthday present to myself was to deactivate all of my social media for the entire month of April.

I know that to some that seems dramatic, and maybe it is, but for me, I’ve found myself with my nose in my phone, scrolling through meals pics from random people, far more than I would like. And I’m sure it will be hard to promote posts without social media, but that will be an experiment as well.

Look, here’s what I do know: I’m eighteen hours in, and I love it. But ask me about it Wednesday when I’ve got the shakes.


Some stuff you might like —

♥ I’ve been told (more than a few times) that I’m intimidating. Usually from men who are attempting to date me, but also from men with whom I work. I’ll tell you that I’m simultaneously too much and not enough, from one outsider’s view or another. When I read this Ode to the Women Who are Too Much, I cried. Actually, literally boo-hoo cried. You’re only too much to those who can’t handle your fire, and to hell with all them anyway.

♥ I’m having heart-eyed dreams of this Free People dress. I need it for the summer. Or for my birthday (which is Saturday, btw *nudge*)

Deb Haaland is running for Congress in New Mexico, and if she wins, she will be the first Native American Congresswomen, and the NY Times ran a piece on her recently. As a Choctaw woman, it’s unbelievably inspiring to watch Native women coming out in droves to run for office. If you feel compelled to donate to her campaign, you can go here

♥ I’ve found a meal delivery box that I L-O-V-E. It’s a new company called Gobble. Instead of picking a specific plan, you choose preferences (chicken, beef, onions, etc.), and it customizes meals for you. If you want a free one, click here and sign up!

♥ “Sweet boys grow up to be men who recognize the strength in being vulnerable and empathetic. Men who aren’t threatened by criticism or perceived competition from people whom they deem ‘Other’ — be it skin color or sexual orientation or religion or education or whatever. Sweet boys are children who’ve been given, by their parents and wider society, the permission to feel everything and to express those emotions without shame.” This Time article is a few months old, but warrants repeat posting: How to Raise a Sweet Son in an Era of Angry Men. I’d implore you, if you have a son, read this.

♥ This easy sweater is on sale at H&M for $12.99 and I think I’ll probably buy every color. It’s lightweight and perfect for transitioning seasons (see: a fifty degree temp swing in 36 hours — no lie, I just experienced that). Go getcha some.

♥ The problem with Christian indigence in the meme world, and why Christians overwhelmingly post the worst possible things in the wake of tragedy. 


I’ll leave you with this:

Set yourself on fire with passion, and people will come from miles around to watch you burn.

It’s a brand new week. Go fearlessly.

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